


It’s In The Looks You Gave Me

by HiddenTrekker



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Relationship, F/F, F/M, Gen, Guidance Counselors, Interrogation, M/M, Mentions other Episodes, Post-Endgame, Resolved Sexual Tension, Suspicions, Unresolved Tension, Voyager crew to the Rescue?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-03-26 22:13:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 61,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13867074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTrekker/pseuds/HiddenTrekker
Summary: There are volumes spoken in the simple looks and touches between Janeway and Chakotay... and the crew weren't oblivious to it. Set after End game, when there are no longer rules to keep our command team apart.*I have gone through the whole story so far and amended a few spellings here and there, if you spot anything else that is driving you mad from my bad typing or hurry please please let me know.





	1. Home

Voyager burst in the Alpha Quadrant in a ball of Borg destruction, every phaser bank and torpedo in Starfleet trained on them suddenly going offline. The stunned silence on the Bridge was enough to hear a pin drop, no one had known what to say or do... except Janeway, she had simply ordered Chakotay to set a course for home, and for the first time in 7 years home was actually in sight, literally only a few thousand kilometres away.

That was 4 days ago, since then it had been a whirlwind for everyone, from the lowest crewman onboard to the Command team. There had been families to contact, reports to complete, press to answer or avoid depending on how you were feeling that day, friends who were now more family than those you had left on Earth to say goodbye to as they started to break apart to reconnect with their old lives again. 

Many of Voyagers crew had decided to stay together for as long as possible and there was always a meet up somewhere. Starfleet had assigned everyone councillors to speak to, but most of the crew had only agreed to go to the required sessions as no one could understand what they had been through but each other, Janeway had made sure that all the Senior staff were available to the crew who needed them and ensured that everyone could contact the EMH whenever they needed to as he was the only crew member who didn't require sleep and had volunteered to be on call 24 hours a day for as long as he was needed... much like he had always been, and for that Janeway was grateful.

The first session that Janeway had with her councillor was the standard "getting to know you" and as far as she was concerned a complete waste of her time. She had left the session with the need to really speak to someone, someone who knew her completely. Tuvok was on Vulcan, getting treatment that he so desperately needed and reconnecting with his family, so he was out of the question for now, Tom and B'Elanna were spending time with Tom's family and getting used to being parents to their baby girl Miral, who had entered the world as Voyager had entered the Alpha Quadrant, Janeway didn't want to disturb them, that only really left her with Chakotay. Normally he would have been at the top of her list, but their relationship had become strained in the last months of their trek home, and now he was in a relationship with Seven and Janeway wasn't sure if the friendship she had once enjoyed with her First Officer fit in to his world now with Seven. 

She sighed and realised that unless she commed him she would never know. She returned to her living quarters that Starfleet had assigned her, not much different from her quarters aboard Voyager except now she could see the Golden Gate Bridge from her window instead of unfamiliar stars, nebula or planets. Crossing to her replicator she ordered her coffee before turning to her desk and tapping in Chakotay's comm. details. Sitting at her chair she breathed in the smell of her coffee and let her mind wander over everything she and Chakotay had been to each other during their time together, hoping that bond wasn't broken, just bent. 

"Kathryn?" Chakotay's voice broke her train of thought and she looked in to his worried chocolate eyes

"Hi, I hope I'm not disturbing you?" She smiled

"No, I was actually just about to contact you myself... I miss you, as strange as it sounds" He whispered, his eyes searching hers for the knowledge that she felt that same

"I know what you mean, we have spent very little time apart in the last 7 years, and now it’s been a week with nothing from either of us. I am sorry I didn't contact you sooner Chakotay, I guess the crew is taking up more time than I originally thought they would" She lied, although the crew had contacted her she had actually been avoiding contacting Chakotay, hurt by his relationship with Seven and that he hadn't thought to tell her. 

"It's OK Kathryn... how are you dealing with it all. I don't think it has hit home yet" he smiled, giving her an out as he always did

"I had my first session today... it was... pointless" She sighed, letting her eyes wander over his familiar face "I just wanted to talk to someone who actually understood" 

"Are you at home?" 

"Yes, if you can call it that"

"I will be there in 5 minutes" without waiting for her response he closed the channel, his face replaced by the Starfleet insignia.

Kathryn was stunned, she hadn't thought that Chakotay would drop everything and come to her side, he used to in their early years together but not since the Equinox incident, that had torn a hole in their bond like nothing had before, a hole that had taken up residence in Kathryn Janeway's soul and remained there ever since. 

She stood up from the desk and moved to the replicator again, ordering him a tea, his favourite blend, she knew it by heart and knew that he would need the drink as a barrier between them the same as she used coffee. She smiled, she had used coffee for more than just a barrier between them while onboard, and she had used it for a substitute for something she couldn't allow between them then and as a mask when her emotions came too close to the surface. 

Exactly 5 minutes after his face had disappeared from her screen Chakotay was stood in her living area, his presence filling the space and his scent filling her senses. 

"I got you a tea" Kathryn said, suddenly unsure what to say to her best friend

"Thanks" He took a sip and moved to take a seat on her sofa "So, how was the pointless session for you?" he asked

Kathryn sat next to him, turning so that she could face him ad curling one leg up under her' "Have you had yours yet?" 

"Yes... some very young man asked me standard questions about how I felt being home, what it was like on Voyager for all that time, being captured by Starfleet and now being held as a hero... he asked me about you too" 

"Mine was the same, he asked me about what it was like to achieve my main mission to get the crew home, how I felt telling those families whose loved ones didn't make it back with us about them, how I felt about Mark moving on... and about my relationship with the crew and more specifically about you and me" Kathryn sighed and took another sip of coffee, taking a moment to compose her thoughts, "I don't understand the fascination they have with you and me" she smiled at him, her eyes unconsciously tracing over his tattoo

"We do have a rather...unique relationship Kathryn, if you think about it. You were sent out to capture me and my crew, to haul us in front of Starfleet and effectively get us locked up, only to be thrown in to the Delta Quadrant, forced to work together before blending our 2 crews together and work to get everyone home, then we were stranded on a planet that we thought we would spend the rest of our lives together alone on, were rescued and came back closer than I have ever felt to another person. You became part of me Kathryn, and I apart of you. So is it any wonder that the councillor is asking about our relationship?"

Kathryn was silent for a while, her coffee forgotten in her hands, Chakotay watched as every emotion flitted across her face as she processed what he had said. Finally she looked at him, a look that he hadn't seen since the night that he had told her about the Ancient Legend all those years ago, it was only there a moment before she shut it down and her command mask fell expertly in place.

"Well when you put it like that... I suppose not." She went quiet again "How is Seven coping with it all?" Kathryn didn't want to ask but Captain Janeway felt obligated to ask.

"I don't know, as soon as we left Voyager she informed me that " _the experiment in to her romantic relationships was over_ " and thanked me before walking off to find her Aunt" Chakotay's face clouded with hurt and embarrassment at the whole situation. Kathryn reached for his hand and ran her thumb lightly over his knuckles, unsure of what to feel.

"Oh Chakotay," was all she could manage.

They sat in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts, neither one wanting to voice them, Kathryn's hand never left his and Chakotay made no move to pull away, each needing the others physical touch to ground them.


	2. Tom's session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom Paris has his first session with his councellor

Tom shuffled from foot to foot, he hated being under the microscope like this, it bought up too many bad memories for him. He stood outside the doorway to the councillor’s office, Starfleet had made them all go and so they had. 

The door slid open revealing a young man with short dark hair and a kind open face, Tom was put slightly at ease but had learned from bitter experience to keep his guard up with strangers. 

"Lt. Paris? Please come in" He moved aside and indicated that Tom should enter. 

The office was large but felt cosy and warm, the furnishings were simple grey with soft cushions adding earthy tones to the room, with art on the walls of star charts and wild landscapes. Tom sat down at one end of the sofa with the young man selecting the arm chair opposite him.

"My name is Councillor Bleniot, I have been asked to see all the Senior members of Voyager's crew and outside of our sessions I encourage you to speak to them about whatever you feel comfortable with from these sessions. I understand that there is a close bond between you all and this is something I believe will help you adjust to life back on Earth again." 

Tom nodded "You do know who I am married to right..."

"Yes, I am aware of your relationship with Lt Torres and congratulations on the birth of your daughter" Bleniot smiled at Tom "So let’s get started shall we. How do you feel being home, back on Earth with your family?" 

"I don't think of home as a place, I made my home with the crew of Voyager, they are my family now really" 

"But what about your parents and sisters?" 

"Yes it is good to see them again, but my father and I have a difficult relationship... he was the one who sent me to prison in the first place... which is where Captain Janeway found me to ask me to join her on Voyager" Tom smiled "Without her I would still be rotting away in that prison and would never have had the chance to be the man, husband and father I am now" 

"You think very highly of your Captain don't you?" 

"She believed in me, when no one else did, not even myself, she believed in me and made me better" Tom smiled as memories of his time with Janeway flooded his mind

"That hasn't answered my question though... how do you feel being back on Earth?" 

"It's still sinking in if I'm honest" 

"Do you feel it has changed the relationships what you have with members of the Voyager crew?" 

"Perhaps, on Voyager all we had was each other, and we relied on one another through it all, hell I would lay my life on the line everyday of the week just to ensure that my family would be safe... that’s how I think of them still, they are my family and that will not change. Maybe not being together fighting for every light-year of space travelled will soften us al and change it but I don't think that they will change too much" Tom smirked "I'm always going to be close with Harry, poking fun at Tuvok, winding Chakotay up and look at Janeway as my big sister..." 

"I notice that the only person you refer to by last name is your Captain, why is that?"

"No one but Chakotay ever called her Kathryn, other than herself or a really cocky alien, so it is second nature I think'" 

"Why was Commander Chakotay the only one to call her Kathryn?" 

"They had a close friendship, especially after being stranded together for nearly 4 months... we all thought something would happen between them then, there was always something between them, but it never went any further than some harmless flirting and a friendship that seemed to sustain both of them. Janeway didn't really know how to treat the rest of the crew being the Captain but Chakotay helped keep her as part of us all and eventually she loosened up and let the rest of us see what Chakotay saw... the woman behind the Captain" 

"When you say there was something between them... what did you mean?" 

"There was just something in the way that they were together, the touches she only gave him, I mean she was always a physical person but she only ever touched his chest, everyone else was a part on the shoulder or hand, she had a particular smile that he only really got, he used to look at her like she hung the stars, they would have hushed conversations over the centre console and dinners together. There was an electricity between them, and although it seemed to fizzle out over the years and the fights it is still there now, you only have to see them together to see it... but it is like they have forgotten it’s there." 

"Do you think that will happen to most of the relationships from Voyager?" 

"I hope not... after all I met and married my wife because of that ship. Things will change but I hope for the better."

Bleniot nodded and moved on in his questioning to Tom's views on what he had done over the last 7 years and what he was feeling at this exact moment in coming home before the debriefings started. 

After an hour Tom left the session feeling lighter than he thought he would, he liked Bleniot and felt that being aware of the issues with coming home to Earth again would make him more able to adjust. He was, however, a little concerned by the man's preoccupation with the Command team, and decided he would talk the B'E after her session.


	3. Tom and Chakotay talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom is concerned about his session and knows there is only one person he can talk to about it at the moment

Chakotay had returned home late in the evening. He and Kathryn hadn’t really spoken much more about anything important or what had been discussed in their sessions with Bleniot, instead they had talked about being with their families again, shared times on Voyager, their safe subjects. They were both skirting around the issue of ‘us’, the same way that they had when protocols and regulations stood between them.

He walked to his kitchen, shedding his jacket and slipping off his shoes on his move passed the sofa. Ordering himself some pasta for dinner he heard the message on his comm. Bleeping, knowing it would be one of the crew he decided to take his meal with him. He sat down and pressed the play button, smiling when Tom and baby Miral appeared on the screen;

_Hi Chakotay, I have just had my session with the councillor and wondered if you were free to talk through it, B’E hasn’t had hers yet and I wanted to get your impression of him and what he wants us to talk about. I’m sure it’s nothing so no hurry._

The screen blinked off and the Starfleet insignia replaced the message, Chakotay frowned at the screen. He knew Tom well, considered him a friend, something he never thought he would say 7 years ago, something had concerned Tom enough to contact him as soon as he had finished his session and he didn’t want to worry B’Elanna with it either. Chakotay quickly ate the remains of his pasta and pushed his plate to the side before returning Tom’s call.

            “Hi Chakotay!” B’Elanna exclaimed as her face appeared on the screen cradling a mewling Miral in her arms, “I think Tom was after you... not that I am not happy to see you Old man” she smiled at him.

            “I was returning his message actually B’Elanna, is he available?”

            “Yes, is everything OK? He seems a little distracted since his meeting with that councillor Starfleet is making us all see... can you believe that all the Senior staff has the same one, surely we can’t say anything without it getting to everyone else!”

            “I don’t think it works like that Torres, he can’t say anything to anyone else about what you talk about with him, same as the Doctor can’t. I think it is to encourage us to talk to each other and work through everything together, supporting each other like we did on _Voyager_ ” Chakotay soothed her.

B’Elanna frowned at her old friend, not believing him fully but willing to accept his reasoning. “I will just get Tom, hang on”

She disappeared off screen and was replaced a few moments later by her blonde Husband. “Hi Commander... I take it you got my message”

“I did Tom, what’s got you concerned?” Chakotay asked, ignoring the use of his rank. Tom had always felt more comfortable using his rank to start with in a conversation before slipping to his name.

“It’s not that I am concerned exactly... but something with the guy doesn’t sit right with me” Tom replied, worry clouding his blue eyes

“Well something has got to you enough to want to speak to me about it as soon as you got home, Paris, what is it?” Chakotay asked firmly

“It is probably nothing but he seemed overly concerned about my impression of your relationship with the Captain” Tom looked at one of his commanding officer’s watching intently as Chakotay processed the information and work out if he was concerned or not, the answer to which would dictate how Tom would feel about it too.

“Kathryn said the same thing about her session with him. We thought that it was just us that he asked no one else but you have had their session with him yet.”

Chakotay didn’t sound too concerned to Tom, but still little alarm bells were ringing, his internal Red Alert. He smiled at the older man, not wanting to show he was still concerned.

“Perhaps it is because we all spent so much time together on the Bridge, right in the thick of it for every battle and anomaly. B’Elanna has hers tomorrow, I doubt he will ask her about the 2 of you as she was usually in Engineering when we were on the Bridge, it would be strange to ask her. Do you want to be notified if he does?” Tom asked, hiding the concern from his voice as best he could.

“I think that would be best Tom, thank you. If B’Elanna mentions it to you then there is obviously something to keep an eye on, and I will speak to Kathryn about it further... Tom... just out of curiosity, what exactly did you say to Bleniot about Kathryn and I?” Chakotay felt that he needed to know as Tom had been one of the biggest gossips on the ship, especially when it came to Kathryn and was always present for the Bridge antics and was able to read the mood between the Command team better than many of the other crew members.

“I didn’t tell him any more than I have told you and her before.” He sighed and looked Chakotay straight in the eye as best he could over the monitor. “I told him that there was something there between you, it was in the way that you looked at each other, and I have to say it was definitely reciprocal Chakotay. There was energy between you, like a spark, and the harmless flirting that used to go on in the early days.” Tom looked sad for a moment before continuing “That didn’t happen as much in the last year or so, I think there were just one too many blows to you and her as a team and separately that you forgot that you used to enjoy the quiet moments together.”

Chakotay looked down, his eyes starting to brim with tears, mourning the loss of the friendship that he had shared with Kathryn in the early years of their journey. Tom was right some of the fun had left their friendship even though their bond and devotion to each other had remained a constant. “Your right Tom, it always surprises me how perceptive of other people you truly are”

Tom felt his cheeks heat at the compliment from the older man and nodded. “Chakotay, I know you didn’t ask for it but if you want my advice... you need to get that spark brighter with Janeway. It’s still there but it has been neglected lately... which is both of your fault but we both know how stubborn she can be” They both smiled at that remembering the stubborn and determined Captain they both loved in their own way.

“Thank you Tom, I am working on it. Contact me if you hear anything from the others that you feel I and the Captain should know. We need to stick together if there is something going on here.”

With a sharp nod Tom closed the channel, breathing a sigh of relief he slumped in his chair, concerned that there was something strange going on, but he was glad that Chakotay and Janeway were aware of it at least. He ran his hands over his eyes before getting up from the desk to find his wife and daughter.


	4. B'Elanna's Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna's turn in the hot seat

B’Elanna paced, feeling nervous, like she had been called to the principal’s office at school waiting to be torn a new one for losing her temper again. The Captain had only made her feel like that once, in the first few weeks of their voyage when she had broken Joe Carey’s nose. She felt a pang of sadness at the thought of Joe, he was the last member of the crew that they had lost and he was also her friend, her go to person in Engineering, he had only been on that mission because she was too pregnant to go and Tom had overruled her.

            She stopped pacing and tried to practice some of the Vulcan meditation techniques that Tuvok had taught her. Controlling her breathing and acknowledging the sadness within her helped and she soon started to feel her control over her anger return. She opened her eyes to see a young man staring at her from the doorway she had been pacing by, Bleniot she guessed.

            “Lt Torres... would you like to come in please” He asked, gesturing to the room beyond the doorway. She nodded and walked passed him, she took in the room, absentmindedly looking for any exits. She had learnt to do that from the Maquis and still found she did it now whenever she entered an unfamiliar setting. Bleniot noticed but said nothing.

            “So Lt Torres, I expect you already know I am Councillor Bleniot from your Husband, so we can jump straight in to it if you like?” He waited for a moment so B’Elanna could settle herself. “How are you feeling being back on Earth?”

            “I’m getting used to it. I was in space a while before _Voyager_ found the Maquis. So Earth hasn’t been home or anything to be for a long time” She stated, saying the word that Bleniot had not ‘home’.

            “I never said Earth was your home, I have stopped referring to Earth as home with the members of _Voyager’s_ crew after speaking with your husband, and he referred to _Voyager_ as home and the crew as his family, more so than those on Earth. Would you say that is accurate for you as well?”

            B’Elanna thought for a moment, considering her words carefully. Both she and Tom had called _Voyager_ home on separate occasions “Yes, I think that is. Tom has always had more of a connection with Earth through his family here, but mine has not a family I was born in to but one that I made, first with the Maquis and then with the crew of _Voyager_. Family has become those whom I choose.”

            Bleniot nodded, “Do you consider _Voyager’s_ crew your family?”

            Her head snapped up “I just said that didn’t I?”

            “Yes, I just wanted to know to what extent you consider them family, passed your Husband obviously”

            “Oh, well we have been through a lot together, these people have literally laid their lives on the line for me, and I have for them also... and I know that I would do it again in a heartbeat if needed” She warned

            “Of that I have no doubt. Every member of the crew has said the same. To go through something like this and not feel protective of each other would be unusual.”

            “Right. So if you knew all of that why ask the question?” B’Elanna was on the defensive with him, she didn’t like the way he was asking his questions. “What is it you really want to know?”

            He leaned forward “I want to know how you see your relationships with other members of the crew... I am trying to get a picture of life onboard, and ultimately the support system that each person has now that you have all returned to Earth.”

            B’Elanna backed down a little and thought for a moment. “Well I met Harry first, he was there when I woke up in the Ocampa hospital after Caretaker sent us there so I guess you could say that he was my first friend onboard so we have always had a close bond because of that, he was such a green Ensign when we first met he became like my little brother, Tom... well I didn’t like him to begin with, we had briefly met in the Maquis and I didn’t trust him, but he changed and now well the rest is history. Chakotay has been my friend for as long as I can remember and for a time I perhaps was a little in love with him. Tuvok, well he is Vulcan but he helped me when I desperately needed it and I have come to respect and trust him. The Captain, she and I did not exactly get on for a while, I think I blamed her for stranding us all out there for her Starfleet ideals and outright fought her all the way for a while, but all she has ever shown in me was trust and understanding and for that I respect and admire her, she has almost become like a 2nd mother to me in a way” She looked up at Bleniot, “Does that answer your question?”

            “Yes, thank you Lt. Torres” He shifted in his chair “What would you say changed your mind about the Captain?”

            “Chakotay ultimately. He fought for me to be even considered for Chief Engineer, especially after a rocky start onboard. Janeway listened to him, respected his opinion of me and then she allowed me in to Senior staff meetings and allowed me to speak my mind as an equal member of the crew. Without Chakotay I don’t think that I... or any of the Maquis crew would have given the Captain a chance” She spoke honestly, remembering the first collaboration with Janeway when _Voyager_ had unwittingly stumbled in to an anomaly that had a temporal reflection of the ship.

            “Why do you think Chakotay did that? Fought for you with Captain Janeway?”

            “Because he knew I was, and still am, good at my job and I’m a damn good engineer” B’Elanna responded forcefully, feeling she had to defend herself and her friends for a decision that was made long ago and had shown to be a good one.

            “Do you think that it damaged the relationship between the Captain and the Commander?”

            “No” She watched the councillor warily, “It was so early on in our journey that they were still figuring out how _Voyager_ was going to function out in the Delta Quadrant with 2 crews who were meant to be enemies, one of which was presumed to be made up of criminals and mercenaries”

            “How would you describe the relationship between the Maquis and the Starfleet crews?”

            “It was tense for a while, but very quickly we melded in to one crew under Captain Janeway well, it was like it was forgotten that we had started off separately because we had a common goal and a strong leadership made up of both Starfleet and Maquis. Chakotay led the way through example when he became First Officer.”

            “So the crew took their quos from the Command team? Does that mean that if they had a disagreement it filtered through the crew?”

            “They didn’t often fall out, but yes you could tell when it happened. Tom used to tell me that it was like cutting the air with a knife if they had really gone at it... but that was so infrequently that the crew didn’t really notice, their personal disagreements didn’t affect how the ship was run or how Command decisions were made. Ultimately Janeway was the Captain and her way was the way we went, Chakotay followed her orders unless there was a very good reason not to.”

            “How would you describe their _personal_ relationship?”

            “They were and still are close friends. I never saw anything but a mutual respect and close friendship between them when they were together. It was something that kept them both going. Chakotay was always supporting her, always at the side but slightly behind so that her command was never in question. On duty they were always the Captain and Commander, issues between them off duty didn’t come in to it on duty. When they were together off duty at parties or functions they were always together, Chakotay often escorted her to them. Have you seen them together?”

            “No I haven’t seen them together, why do you ask?”

            “If you did then you wouldn’t need to ask these questions. When they are together, outside of the binds of command and duty there is this presence that they have, they bounce off one another, fit I guess you could say. There is something in the way that they look at each other, something that they can say with just a quick glance that words never allow them to say.” She sighed and shifted in her chair, “It’s not something that you can describe without seeing them together... you just know”

            “Thank you, perhaps I will schedule a session for them together. Their relationship seems to have had a profound influence on the crew”

            “If you say so. We only ever saw them as our friends and command team.”

            Bleniot nodded and made a note on his padd before continuing with more questions about B’Elanna’s relationships within Engineering, her father and how she was finding being a new mother in the sudden fame they had found themselves in upon their arrival in the Alpha Quadrant. She left 40 minutes later with a niggling feeling that something about that session was not what it appeared to be. Bleniot had got to specific about the Captain and Chakotay, how their relationship with each other had affected those around them. B’Elanna decided that she would contact the Captain and speak to her about it all before she was overly worried by it all, after all Kathryn was her friend, she also knew that it would be just the excuse they needed to get together again for coffee with Miral in tow.

 


	5. Kathryn and B'Elanna get a Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna has a few truths for her Captain

B’Elanna hadn’t mentioned to Tom her feelings after her session with Bleniot, something in her was telling her that she was just being overly protective of her friends but she wanted Kathryn to have all the information as possible. She had gone home and immediately sent a message to Kathryn inviting her for coffee the next day which had been quickly accepted.

            That morning B’Elanna had packed up a bag for Miral and together they had headed out to the nearby coffee shop. Tom’s parents house was close to Starfleet headquarters as his father was an Admiral there, and the accommodation that had been provided for all the members of _Voyager’s_ crew was just the other side of Starfleet grounds so the coffee shop was equal distance for both women but far enough off grounds that they wouldn’t have to worry too much about prying eyes and ears.

            B’Elanna arrived first and ordered a Raktajino for herself and a coffee for Kathryn before selecting a table outside for them, taking advantage of the warm day and the space for Miral’s things too. It still amazed B’Elanna how much stuff babies needed to simply go out for an hour or so. Kathryn arrived about 5 minutes later; her coffee was still hot so she knew B’Elanna hadn’t been waiting long.

            The half Klingon stood and they embraced in greeting, although they had only been apart for a little over a week now it was unusual for them not to see each other every day since Kathryn had made B’Elanna her Chief Engineer within the first few weeks of their journey together.

            “It’s good to see you B’Elanna, how have you been?” Kathryn asked releasing her.

            “Well thank you, although Miral hasn’t been letting Tom or I get much sleep lately, she is still less work than some months onboard so that’s an improvement in some ways” B’Elanna beamed, glowing happily as a new mother.

            Kathryn smiled back “Sounds like you had a slave driver for a Captain to make you lose less sleep than a newborn does” she joked

            “Nah she was alright actually... the helmsman however...” She quipped and both women laughed.

            “Kathryn, I wanted to ask you about that councillor that Starfleet has assigned us... what do you think of him?” B’Elanna wasn’t sure how to start the conversation so decided to take a page out of Seven of Nine’s book and just go for it.

            “I’m not sure if I am honest, but then I have never been one for medical personnel as the Doctor will tell you I am sure” She smiled, “Why do you not like him?”

            “It’s not that I don’t like him exactly, there is just something about him that I can’t put my finger on... a bit like when we met Kashyk. You knew there was something off about him didn’t you?”

            Kathryn blushed at the mention of the Devore inspector who had almost gotten the better of her and almost in to her bed. “Yes I think I do B’Elanna. Something about our Mr. Bleniot just doesn’t seem quite right. Chakotay and I were talking about it the other night after my session with him; I think Chakotay had his in the morning on the same day.”

            “Really, for all of us to think there is something strange then there must be something off.” B’Elanna paused to settle Miral who was starting to fuss from her sleep. “What did Chakotay say?”

            “Nothing much, only that he seemed more interested in the relationship between him and I over everything else. Since our friendship was an integral part of our lives out there we figured it made sense. Why what did he ask you?”

            “The same... but not about Tom and I, about you and Chakotay. How your relationship with each other affected the rest of us; did the early disagreements affect how the Maquis members of the crew were treated? Did it affect the crew as a whole if you two disagreed on anything? What you and he were like when you were around each other. It was all very strange Kathryn... I don’t like it” B’Elanna stated.

            Kathryn shifted in her chair, holding her cup of coffee in her hands and studied the young woman opposite her. “What did you say?” She was almost afraid of the answer knowing that the early days between her and B’Elanna were rocky at best, but now they had a solid friendship.

            “Just that when you and he disagreed in private it didn’t affect the rest of us, even in the early days, that the Maquis actually respected you for standing up to him and he to you, but ultimately you were the Captain so what you said went most of the time. I also told him that when you and he were together off duty and on good terms it was like you and he had a presence together that drew us all in. You and he could say more to each other with a simple look than most people could say in an afternoon. Nothing that I am sure you didn’t already know Kathryn.” B’Elanna watched as emotions flitted across Janeway’s face, _maybe she didn’t know_ she thought.

            “Did we really look at each other like that?” Kathryn asked, suddenly feeling shy about her friendship with her First Officer.

            “Are you telling me that you spent 7 years with the man on a daily basis and didn’t know he looked at you as if you were the only woman in the world... other than the time you quite literally were the only other woman on the planet. He was in love with you from very early on, and I believe that he still is, Seven of Nine or no Seven of Nine.”

            “No Seven of Nine, B’Elanna, she broke up with him as soon as we left _Voyager_ , told him he was an experiment in Romantic relationships or some such nonsense.” Kathryn waved her hand around before returning it to her cup. “Did everyone know how he felt about me?”

            “Clearly not everyone if you didn’t, but we all thought that you did because of how you looked at him in return; you clearly had feelings for him too Kathryn, it was written across your face every time you were with him or his name mentioned!” B’Elanna exclaimed

            Kathryn didn’t respond, she was lost in her own thoughts and memories, every touch, every glance, look, word spoken and evening spent together with the excuse of work meaning they could spend their off time together, every holodeck trip and shore leave spent together. B’Elanna sat quietly watching her friend work through it all in her mind, and gently tended to Miral now she was fully awake.

            Kathryn looked up after a while and noticed B’Elanna staring at her intently. “I’m sorry B’Elanna, but I have to go.” She stammered out quickly gathering her jacket. “You have given me a lot to think about, and I can’t do that here. I’m sorry.” With that she gave Miral a quick kiss on her forehead and hug for B’Elanna before turning to leave.

            She had to speak to Chakotay as soon as she could. If what B’Elanna had told her was true there was something they needed to discuss before the rest of the Senior staff had their counselling sessions with Bleniot.


	6. Harry's Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Kim takes a turn in the chair

For Ensign Harry Kim this was a new feeling; waiting to be analysed by someone professional. The last time he had felt like this was when the Captain had given him a dressing down for his relationship with Tal from the Generational ship a few years ago. Only then he had deserved it, this time he wasn’t so sure it was needed.

            He sat anxiously in the standard grey chair, in the standard grey corridor at Starfleet Headquarters, he had forgotten just how everything looked the same at Starfleet, he had gotten used to it on _Voyager_ , it had been a comfort on the darkest days in the Delta Quadrant.

            “Ensign Kim, would you come in please?” The young councillor asked. Ever one to follow orders Harry stood and entered the room, unwittingly taking the same space that all his _Voyager_ colleagues had taken, something that was not lost on Bleniot.

            “I am sure you have heard by now that I am Councillor Bleniot, I have been assigned by Starfleet to speak to all of the Senior Officers of _Voyager_.” He shifted position and crossed his legs. Harry was struck by the gesture as it was one that Captain Janeway favoured on the Bridge.

            “What would you like to know?” Kim asked, relaxing in to his seat. “I’m not really sure that I need to be here.”

            “Well... how are you feeling now you have been home for a week?”

            “Still a little shell shocked I think, it is something that we have been working to do for the last 7 years and something that we had pretty much resigned ourselves to never happening in our lifetimes as every time we tried it ended in disaster” Kim answered honestly, a note of sadness clouding his voice

            “How many attempts were there over the years?”

            “Um... there was the Romulan we met at the beginning of the journey who ended up being from the past and had died years before Voyager was stranded, then there was the Wormhole that was the same one the _Enterprise_ had visited that closed before we could get through with the Ferengi, then there was the Telepathic Pitcher plant that tricked us in to thinking we were home, the slingshot that could have gotten us home but ended up failing, the slipstream that de-stablalised and the alien that manipulated a message from Starfleet to try to get us assimilated; there are probably some more but I can’t remember” Kim sighed

            “That’s a lot of blows, how did you deal with them all?”

            “Together, when one of us was down, the other members of the crew would pick them up. Everyone helped everyone else out”

            “Did that count for all members of the Crew, regardless of rank?”

            “Yes, there were a few times I was really low, particularly after the slipstream as it was my calculations that de-stabilised the stream and I was blaming myself, the Captain came to find me that evening while I was in the Mess hall to check on me. She let me complain before handing me a padd with a message that a future version of me had sent, and she told me that she was grateful that in some place, some time I had come through for them. There were other times that other members were struggling and she would pick them up, or we would in return.”

            “Did the Captain’s mood affect the ship?”

            “Not really, she did get really down at one point, we were crossing an area of space that we nicknamed the Void as there was nothing there... well we thought there was nothing there. She withdrew from us all, even Chakotay, but when she wanted to abandon ship to help the species that lived there, we all banded together and kept her with us... I think it helped to bring her out of the low point. But no her mood didn’t affect us, we were just concerned for her.” Kim answered, remembering how worried the crew had been for their Captain, and seeing the strain it was putting on her relationships with them.

            “Was it unusual for her to withdraw from Commander Chakotay?” Bleniot asked

            “I suppose it was; I mean they had their differences like everyone else but they always managed to show a united front while on duty in front of the crew. If it was really bad between them she would retreat to her Ready Room or him to his Office but they always came together in a crisis”

            “What did you make of the Command teams relationship over the last few years?”

            Slightly concerned with how this session had taken a turn Harry though carefully before answering, “Well, they were always together, on and off duty. I think that he was the only person that the Captain felt she could get close to because of rank and protocol.” Harry paused and thought again for a moment. “When they were together and it was all good between them it was like the air on the Bridge was lighter, like the burden of getting home was a little easier to carry for us all. I could see them most of the time from my station, more the Captain than the Commander and the way that she would look at him at times, like he was the most important person in the room, their eyes would follow each other round the room, even at functions it was like they knew where the other was instinctively. I think it bought a unity and calmness to the crew”

            Harry sat back further in to the cushions, hoping that he hadn’t said too much. Over the years on _Voyager_ he had seen how the Captain and Commander’s relationship had changed. In the beginning it was cautious solidarity, making the best of the situation that they all found themselves in, but as the time went on there was a real friendship that blossomed between them, especially after they were stranded on that planet, Harry and Tom still had debates now as to if something happened between them, they had come back to the ship too professional will each other, then the harmless flirting and whispered conversations started again, they began to relax with each other again, Chakotay would follow the Captain’s movements around the Bridge when he thought she didn’t notice, sometimes she didn’t but on the times she did there was a little more sway in her walk, a little more confidence in her voice. Even when times got difficult onboard, the Borg alliance and the Equinox in particular, they had always come together even after disagreements and a mutiny of sorts, Chakotay still continued to watch her and she still pretended not to notice.

            “So you saw their relationship as a good thing for _Voyager_?” Bleniot asked pulling Harry out of his thoughts

            “Yes, they were united and together they led the crew as one. It could have been so different if the Captain had made Tuvok the First Officer after we were stranded, but she did the right thing and asked Chakotay, the leaders of the 2 crews, Starfleet and Maquis, working to bring us home together... and that they could be friends like they are made it easier for the rest of us to bond and pull together in the beginning before the firm friendships formed.”

            “Like yours and B’Elanna Torres?”

            “We met off ship, before we realised what was happening or had happened so we had a different basis for our friendship to start, but yes, the Captain and Commander being friends made it easier” Harry answered as honestly as he could.

            Bleniot nodded and made notes on his padd in silence, while Harry looked around the room, taking in the star charts and landscapes, he wasn’t as uncomfortable as he was to start with but the questions about the Command team had been strange. Perhaps he would talk to Tom about it; his instincts about these kinds of things were usually pretty good.

            “What are you plans now that you are back on Earth, Harry?” Bleniot asked, turning the conversation back to Harry and away from _Voyager._ Harry wasn’t sure how long it would last for but was happy to go along with it... for now.


	7. A Drink of Concern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry visits Tom and B'Elanna after his talk with Bleniot

“Hey Maquis!” Harry greeted B’Elanna using her old nickname when she answered the door, smiling holding Miral in one arm and a bottle in the other.

            “Hi Starfleet” B’Elanna replied, “Do you want to come in, Tom will be down in a moment, he is just getting cleaned up after this little one decided to decorate his shirt with her lunch” She grinned down at the bundle in her arm.

            Harry nodded and stepped through the door, “Want me to take her so you can do the same?” He indicated to the ‘decoration’ on B’Elanna’s shirt too, reaching out for the baby he cooed “Come and see you Uncle Harry”, B’Elanna happily let her daughter go to Harry and handed him the bottle too before directing him to the lounge on her way to the bedroom to collect her Husband.

            Harry settled himself in the armchair nearest the windows and cuddled Miral to him, offering her the bottle and talking to her small infant. His mind started to wonder again back to the man he had met on DS9 7 years ago, Tom had saved him from Quark, the infamous Ferengi bartender, and since then they had been firm friends along with B’Elanna later on. Without _Voyager_ then Harry would never have met Tom, Tom would never have met B’Elanna again, repairing their relationship for their Maquis days together, they would never have fallen for each other and gotten married and this perfect little girl wouldn’t be here either, and she would grow up to call him Uncle Harry, for that Harry felt very lucky for that.

            “Captain Proton to Buster Kincaid” Tom called, jokingly pulling Harry back to the present.

            “Hey Proton, just minding the little artist for you”

            “I can see that... you looked like you mind was back in the Delta Quadrant. What’s up?” Tom asked, settling on the sofa opposite Harry, leaving him with Miral.

            “I just had my session with Bleniot, it bought up a few old memories.” Harry answered

            “Yeah, did that for me too, it was good in a way but I kind of want to start looking forward now not back”

            “I know the feeling... Tom, what did you make of Bleniot?” asked Harry, watching his friends face to gage his response.

            “I’m not sure, there is something a bit... off about him. He seems to really focus on one particular aspect of our time out there before lightly touching on everything else with a few questions”

            “You mean his fascination with the Captain and Commander?” Harry asked, knowing that Tom’s face would tell him everything

            “You had the same feeling.” Tom leaned back in his seat, “What do you make of it?”

            “I’m not sure; part of it makes sense to ask about as we were all together for the majority of the time, you, me, them, B’Elanna and Tuvok. Every battle, every mission, every crisis and every shift, we were all together. We have a bond because of it, but it strikes me as odd that he is only interested in them”

            Tom stood, “I think I am going to need a beer for this, do you want one?”

            “Yes please, helm boy” B’Elanna said coming through the doorway from the bedroom, “And I expect Harry will too”. Tom moved across to the replicator and ordered 3 beers before returning to his previous position and handing his wife and friend their drinks. B’Elanna had taken the now sleeping Miral from her Uncle and placed her in the crib to the side of the chair next to him.

            “I am assuming that this is about the Captain and Chakotay? That councillor has a fascination with them that goes beyond the general curiosity about the _Voyager_ crew” B’Elanna said, catching up on the conversation.

            “You thought the same B’E? Why didn’t you mention it to me earlier?” Tom asked looking at his wife in surprise.

            “I didn’t think it was anything important, and I spoke to Kathryn about it this morning when we met for coffee. She seemed a little more concerned that I thought she would be but you know what she is like, she shuts down at any mention of her relationship with Chakotay beyond the friendship that they showed the rest of the crew.” B’Elanna answered, “Although she did mention that Seven had ended her relationship with Chakotay, stating that ‘her experiment’ was complete, whatever that means” B’Elanna huffed, still annoyed by the former drone and her friends relationship.

            “Well that’s news” Harry said; he wasn’t aware that the Commander and Seven had been in a relationship beyond gossip in the Mess hall that he had learnt to dismiss as soon as he heard it.

            “I never did like them together, it never made sense to me” Tom said, picking up his beer and leaning back in to his seat.

            “Maybe he got sick of waiting for never to come around” B’Elanna thought allowed.

            “You mean for Janeway.” Harry said; it was less of a question more of a statement.

            “We all knew how he felt about her, it was written on his face every time she entered the room or was mentioned in passing. He worshiped the ground at her feet for a time. Then he seemed happy to just accept the friendship that she was willing to give him, even though you just had to watch the way she was around him to know that she felt exactly the same way. The touching of his chest, the looks between them that lasted a bit longer than necessary.” B’Elanna picked up her drink as well, twisting in her seat to get more comfortable.

            “They haven’t been like that though for the last year at least, yes she still touches his chest but she was always touching us somewhere” Harry defended his Captain

            “But never on our chests Harry, think about it that was saved just for Chakotay... and that little half smile she only ever did when he was the one that made her smile.” Tom interjected. “She might not have been as obvious in showing it but she felt the same for him as he did for her”

            “Do you think that the relationship with Seven was just out of hurt then?” Harry asked, still getting to grips with the fact that there had even been a relationship to think of.

            “He has always been one for blondes anyway, but then there was our red headed Captain, he was smitten with her as soon as he saw her, why else do you think that he became her First Officer rather than anything else.” B’Elanna answered “So perhaps he did genuinely like Seven, but I don’t think that is the case, she is more like a daughter to Kathryn than even Kes was. It was possibly some twisted way that he could be with Kathryn but not be... because let’s face it the 2 women are quite alike now, after all that time Kathryn spent mentoring Seven it was bound to rub off on her.”

            They all sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks and processing what B’Elanna had said. It made sense that Seven would be like the Captain in some way but her temperament had always been different and difficult to predict at times, whereas Janeway was usually more even and led by her morals... other than when she was under stress or being experimented on by aliens, they all still shuddered at the memory of their Captain flying _Voyager_ at full force between the 2 suns to get rid of the aliens and putting a stop to their brutal experiments.

            “Wait B’E you spoke to the Captain about this?” Tom asked “What did she say?”

            “Just that she wasn’t aware of how they were together, she didn’t know that we call knew how they felt about each other, and she even seemed oblivious to Chakotay still feeling that way for her now. Why?”

            “I spoke to Chakotay about it. I was just a little concerned after my talk with Bleniot that he was focusing on the Command teams’ relationship to each other and wanted to make sure he knew about it, just in case there was anything in it. We decided that maybe it would be just the Bridge crew he asked, and that if you had it in your session with him, since you were in Engineering the majority of the time, then to let him know... just in case, then he would decide whether or not to tell Kathryn about it all” Tom answered, “But as Kathryn now knows they are bound to talk about it and maybe they can decide together what to do... after all they aren’t in a Command structure anymore, not officially anyway, so they can decide if it is a problem for them personally or not” Tom took another drink, “Who knows it might bring them together”

            “Bleniot did mention that he might to a couple’s session with them, to see if they could change their relationship to one another to work now that we are home or if it is something that was just for the Delta Quadrant that will fizzle out here.” B’Elanna said, “He thought that you and I should do a session together too” She said turning to Tom.

            “Do you want to? I have a feeling that with his current line of questioning he may be looking to draw comparisons between us and them... Not sure if I feel comfortable with that B’E” Tom answered his wife honestly.

            “We can think about it and decide later. We only have 2 more sessions each anyway, it might get them out of the way sooner if we went together.” B’Elanna mused

            “I’ll drink to that” Tom smiled and raised his glass. The 3 friends quietly clinked their glasses together not wanting to wake the baby from her nap and fell in to a comfortable conversation about their early days on the ship and what had been bought up for them during their sessions with Bleniot, for the moment the concern for their Command team was pushed to the backs of their minds.


	8. Chakotay and the Councillor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chakotay speaks to Bleniot about his questioning of the other members of the crew

He wasn’t scheduled for another session yet, but he had requested a meeting with the councillor, hearing from Tom that both B’Elanna and Harry had been asked about their perceptions of his relationship with Kathryn was starting to disturb him. Tom would say that he could smell a rat.

            The doors to Bleniot’s office opened and the young man gestured for Chakotay to enter. Pulling himself up with confidence he wasn’t sure he actually felt he walked in and sat down in the same place that everyone else had chosen. It wasn’t that there were no other places to sit it just seemed that was the preferred place for the _Voyager_ crew to take, Bleniot thought as the ships First Officer made himself comfortable.

            “We didn’t actually have a session until next week Commander, is there a reason that you requested a meeting sooner? Or do you just want to get this all out of the way?” Bleniot quipped

            Chakotay cleared his throat and leaned forward with his elbows on his thighs and looked the councillor straight in the eye, “You encouraged the _Voyager_ Senior staff to talk to one another, that’s correct isn’t it.” He stated, “Well we have been, those who you have seen anyway. Seven isn’t available to us right now and Tuvok is on Vulcan for at least a month so I doubt that you will be seeing him, in person at least.”

            “Commander Tuvok and I have a comm. Session scheduled for the day after tomorrow as it happens, as so Seven of Nine and I” Bleniot responded, his voice was coated with smugness and it got Chakotay’s back up. He already didn’t like the man and this smug tone was just making it worse.

            “OK, however as I said, those of us who have had sessions with you have been speaking, and we have all noticed that you seem overly preoccupied with my relationship with Kathryn Janeway. Why?”

            Bleniot straightened in his chair and returned Chakotay’s glare, “Yes I have been asking them about your relationship to Captain Janeway, like it or not your relationship with her moulded how the crew saw each other and their lives on _Voyager_.”

            Chakotay wasn’t surprised by this answer; he had half expected some pre-planned piece about the Command team’s relationship status being influential within the crew. He had heard them before, when he left Starfleet he had been sick of them and wasn’t about to take it as the answer now.

            “That’s only half the reason isn’t it.” Chakotay pushed

            “Alright, yes it is.” Bleniot fiddled with the padd in his hands, “I have read the reports from _Voyager_ about all of the Senior staff, not specific missions you understand, it would take me months to do that before I even met you, but about some of the bigger ones, and the impressions that the crew had of each other. Snap shots of life over the last 7 years if you will.”

            “And... why has that led you to be interested in my relationship with Kathryn?”

            “Have you noticed you are the only one she ever allowed to call her Kathryn? Or that you are probably the only person that she really spent time with when not on duty?” Bleniot waited for Chakotay to think about it for a moment.

            “She felt that she couldn’t get close to the crew to start with as she was the Captain, but the further we got in to our journey home that changed and she got closer with some of them; Tom, B’Elanna, Harry, Sam, Tuvok, Seven and the Doctor... but no I wasn’t aware only I called her Kathryn.”

            “Did you ever wonder why she allowed you to call her by her first name?”

            “She only did when we were stranded together, before that it was always Captain, she asked me to call her Kathryn as we weren’t in a Command structure at the time. I guess I got so used to calling her Kathryn instead of Captain and never really went back when we were alone or off duty” Chakotay puffed out a breath and leaned back in the sofa.

            “Could it be that she wanted you to see her as a person rather than the pips on her collar?”

            “I always saw her as more than the Captain. You forget we were both Captain’s in our own rights when we met, I chose to become her First Officer after my ship was destroyed.” Chakotay replied, a note of warning in his voice. This was the same dangerous territory that he and Kathryn had been avoiding for the last 7 years.

            “That is your professional relationship, what about your personal one. You spent most of your off hours with each other, was there more to your friendship than meets the eye?”

            “You mean did we have sex?” Chakotay asked bluntly, “If that is what you are asking then the answer is no, there was a line that we never crossed, skimmed it a few times but never crossed”

            “And by skimmed it you mean...”

            “There were moments in the earlier years of our journey that I wanted more from her, and I think that she did from me too, like when we were stranded together, but _Voyager_ and her commitment to the Starfleet protocols always stopped anything from happening other than conversations” Chakotay answered honestly, as much for Bleniot as for himself.

            “You wanted more from your relationship with Janeway... but she didn’t want one or didn’t let it happen?”

            “You will have to ask her that, I can’t answer for her. What I still don’t understand is why our crew, our friends rather than us.”

            “Were you aware that your crew are extremely perceptive, particularly when it comes to your relationship with the Captain? They were all aware of the feelings that you had for each other, they could tell when things were good between you and when you had an argument, as well as the severity of the argument just by watching you. Your helmsman for example could tell exactly when things got rocky by how the Captain would act on the Bridge around you, your Ops officer could tell when she was upset with something just by a look she would give you, your Engineer could tell by walking on the Bridge if you were annoyed by the Captain by how your eyes followed her around the room or not.”

            “I knew they were perceptive but not to that extent.” Working with them for the last 7 years and Chakotay was still finding out about the people he considered family.

            “There was a lot that your crew could tell from just a look or a touch between you if it was going to be a good day or a bad day, if the crisis that you were in was solvable just by watching you 2. That is why I am asking them for their perceptions of you both. Neither of you are particularly easy to get to open up and talk to me, so I am going to have to get my information from those sources closest to you both... in this case your crew”

            Chakotay stood and extended his hand to the councillor, “Thank you for your time, you have given me a lot to think about.”

            Bleniot stood and shock Chakotay’s outstretched hand, feeling a hurdle between them had been jumped, he decided to broach the subject of a joint session for the Command team, “You know I was thinking that it might be more beneficial to you and Captain Janeway if we had our next sessions together, do you think that is something that Kathryn would agree too?”

            “I will ask her and let you know if that is alright” The councillor simply nodded and released the Commander’s hand before moving to show him out.

            Chakotay left the councillors office feeling a little shocked and unsure how he was going to speak to Kathryn about what he had learned about their relationship from the crew’s perspective, if the crew were right after all then there was still something between them that they could finally address. With that thought in his head he took off in a run to Kathryn’s door.


	9. Dinner with the Captain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chakotay arrives at Kathryn's door

The door chimed to her quarters, Kathryn sighed as she got up from her arm chair, letting the book she had been trying to read slip to the floor and close. Carrying her cup of coffee, she crossed and answered the door, missing the days she could just call to allow her visitor in. She smiled when she saw the familiar figure standing on the other side.

            “Hi, I wasn’t expecting to see you until this evening... did I forget that we were meeting earlier?” She asked; her brow furrowing slightly as she searched her memory.

            “No, I just needed to speak to you, can I come in?” He asked

            Without answering Kathryn twisted and allowed him in, watching as he crossed to her replicator and ordered himself a tea, he was always comfortable in her company to make the space they shared theirs rather than just hers.

            “I have come from my meeting with Bleniot.” Chakotay stated by way of opening the conversation, collecting his drink he moved to sit on the chair opposite where she had just been sitting.

            “Oh, how did it go?” Kathryn asked cautiously. The councillor had been troubling her thoughts since her conversation with B’Elanna the day before; she had planned to speak to Chakotay about it that evening. 

            “I asked him why he had been talking to everyone about you and me” He purposely didn’t use the term ‘us’ as that word had always sent Kathryn retreating from him at warp 10, ever since New Earth.

            “What did he say?” Kathryn asked, holding her breath.

            “That the crew were extremely perceptive, which we already knew, but that they were aware of more about our... friendship, than we were. Did you know ever notice than when we were at odds they were quiet, more professional than when we were on good terms” Chakotay asked, wanting to know how much Kathryn was aware of.

            Kathryn thought for a moment, cradling her coffee in her hands, realising she was still standing she retook her previous seat before answering Chakotay “I knew that Tom was quieter then, but I guess I always put it down to my not noticing that he was his usual self as I was usually lost in my own thoughts. The others, no I don’t think I did.”

            “Well they certainly did. Even B’Elanna knew when we had a disagreement down in Engineering, and that was without Tom or Harry telling her.”

            “She didn’t mention anything like that to me when I saw her for coffee yesterday. She did tell me about her session with Bleniot though, and that he was asking about us from her point of view.”

            Chakotay’s heart skipped a beat, Kathryn had used the ‘us’ word, and she hadn’t hesitated like she normally would have aboard Voyager. “Did what she say make you think of anything?” He asked, his voice low like it was when they had conversations over the centre console on the Bridge.

            “Some” She admitted, looking down at her coffee cup, “She said that you had a certain way of looking at me, and it maybe think that maybe I had a certain way with you too, but I don’t know.”

            “According to Tom you did” Chakotay smiled when he remembered the half smiles she gave him. “I also never realised that I was the only one whose chest you touched... did you know that Kathryn?”

            “No I touched everyone, not just you” Kathryn replied defensively

            “Yes, but on their shoulder, arm or hand but never their chest or face”

            She sat, stunned, and thought for a moment. She knew that she was a physical person with her crew, a hand on the shoulder there, a touch of a hand there for support and friendship, a job well done or simply to show that she was in it with them. Now that she thought about it carefully she had never touched Tom, Harry or the Doctor on their chests, she had occasionally hugged Tuvok or once B’Elanna, Kes was the only other person onboard she had ever really hugged, as the young woman was very much like a daughter to her, after all she had met when Kes was only 1 year old.

            “Your right... I never noticed, it just felt natural... normal to touch your chest. Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Kathryn asked; suddenly self conscious of her hands.

            “Because I liked you touching me, it was like a special connection between just you and I” He decided to answer honestly too, feeling that Kathryn was more receptive to this discussion than she had ever been before.

            She didn’t reply, but smiled and watched his expression change on his face from guarded to open and full of warmth. She recognised the expression from their days on _Voyager_ , suddenly wondering how she never noticed it before.

            “I thought that your... feelings... changed” Kathryn was hesitant to even start to touch on this subject, they hadn’t really discussed it since the Angry Warrior story, his thinly veiled attempt to tell her how he felt about her, that he would always be by her side. True to his word he had been, even when they had been at odds over the Borg, the Equinox or some other command choice she had to make that he didn’t 100% support, but somehow they had always managed to come together again, but their relationship had taken its share of knocks over the last 7 years and feelings could easily change in that time.

            “Never” Chakotay said, “They might have been buried for a while, maybe even forgotten for a time, but they have always been there”

            “Even after everything”

            “Always”

            That simple answer sent waves of nostalgia through her, it had been his reply to her every time she had questioned if he was still with her, still trusted her, still supported her, believed in her... everything. Kathryn smiled that half smile that she always gave him and leaned towards him to take his hand. Chakotay recognised the gesture and laced his fingers through hers, his thumb stroking over her knuckles.

            He took a breath, stealing himself before telling Kathryn what Bleniot had proposed at the end of their chat. “Bleniot had a suggestion that he asked me to speak to you about.” He said quickly. Kathryn didn’t reply so he carried on, “He would like to see us together for a session... like couples counselling I think, maybe he wants to see what we are actually like with each other or there is something else he wants to do I’m not sure, what do you think?”

            “Would it count as a completed session that I can tick off the list or is this like an additional one?” Kathryn smiled; Chakotay knew that he had piqued her interest.

            “It would count, I think it would be beneficial, and it would stop him from asking the crew any more awkward questions about their Command team if he could see what we are actually like, rather than idle gossip.”

            “Alright, if it means that we can get him off our case faster then I will go to a session or 2 with you. After all if he is anything like our EMH he won’t stop until he gets what he wants anyway.”

            “Probably not” Chakotay laughed, still running his thumb over hers, enjoying the contact and that she hadn’t broken it yet.

            They sat in silence for a few moments before Chakotay noticed the book lying on the floor, apparently forgotten by Kathryn. “Dante’s Inferno... again Kathryn”

            She blushed, “Yes, well it is one of my favourites, and being back home feels like a new life beginning for all of us.” Chakotay nodded, remembering the last time that she had used Dante around him. It was a time she wouldn’t remember as it was when _Voyager_ had shattered in the 37 different time zones and he had met the version of Kathryn before he had come aboard, before they have even spoken on the view screen after the caretaker had drawn them in to the Delta Quadrant. The younger Janeway had grown to trust him and had quoted Dante to him during their time together, shocked that he had known the rest of the quote and that she had lent him her copy of the book, a gift from Mark when they had gotten engaged.

            “You looked lost in thought” Kathryn’s voice bought him back to the present again.

            “Sorry, I was just remembering the last time I heard you quote Dante to me” He cleared his throat knowing he was going to have to explain, and glad that he could now that what he had seen then for the future wouldn’t happen now as they were home rather than still trying to make it across the unknown territory. “Do you remember when B’Elanna burnt out the deflector dish and I told you that I couldn’t tell you why because of the Temporal Prime Directive?”

            She nodded, “Yes, you were very coy about what had happened, and told me nothing no matter how much I asked. Are you about to tell me now?”

            “Yes, now that we are home and the future pieces that I saw then won’t happen I guess I am as the Directive is no longer in effect.” He paused and let go of her hand before continuing. “What I couldn’t tell you then was that the ship was shattered in to different time zones, many of them were in the past but there was 1 that I came across that was in the future and we were both dead by then. Because I had been in an accident in Engineering, I was in a state of temporal flux when I was beamed to the Sickbay, the Doctor treated me with a chronotron infused serum that allowed me to pass through the barriers, but I didn’t realise that when I made my way to the Bridge, that was where I found you, only it wasn’t you, she was the you just after _Voyager_ had been thrown in to the Delta Quadrant, you still had all your Starfleet crew, and to say that you were surprised to see the Maquis officer you had been sent to capture walk off the Turbo lift and call you ‘Kathryn’ is an understatement” He smiled at the memory of her younger self controlling her crew and calling for him to be put in the Brig. “You ordered me to the brig, but in the Turbo lift the security guards disappeared as I crossed through a barrier. I knew then that something was wrong; the Doctor confirmed it as he didn’t know about his mobile emitter yet. I knew I needed help and that you were the person I needed. The doctor gave me some more of the serum that he treated me with so I could inject you with it... you weren’t exactly happy to see me again and I had to literally drag you kicking and ordering everyone along with me, before giving you the hypo spray to make the point to you that I wasn’t lying... anyway during our process to bring the ship back in to temporal alignment you began to trust me, and quoted Dante to me, you were surprised that I knew the quote and even more shocked that it was your copy of the book I had read. Later you asked me about ‘us’ and how close we were in my time, I told you that there were some lines we had never crossed. I still don’t quite know how to take the expression on your face that day, but I think it was a mixture of sadness and relief... after all your younger self had only left Mark behind a few weeks before hand and there I was telling you that we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant after nearly 7 years, still trying to get home.”

            Kathryn had remained quiet listening to what Chakotay was telling her. She could picture herself as Chakotay had seen her, still feeling her way in to her Command and hiding more than ever behind the Captain’s mask. That the younger version of her had felt comfortable enough to even ask Chakotay what had become of their relationship showed how quickly she had come to trust him. Well she had in her memory of things too, following her instinct to make him her First Officer and trust him with their crew.

            “Well... I can see why you didn’t tell me then. Thank you for telling me now.” She said after a while. “What was it like seeing a younger version of me?”

            “She was... interesting. It was like being in a memory. After all we met not long after _Voyager_ was thrown in to the Delta Quadrant so she wasn’t much different from the Kathryn Janeway I originally met; but she was different from the Kathryn Janeway I know today”

            “Is that a good thing?” Kathryn asked “The Delta Quadrant certainly changed me, and I’m not sure if it was for the better or worse”

            “It’s not a good thing or a bad thing Kathryn; people grow and change with time and experiences. The Kathryn I met when the ship split was certainly more guarded, like you were when we first started travelling together, when you weren’t sure how to interact with the lower ranks, but then she was also less sure of herself than you are now.” He paused for a moment, searching for the right words, “But I will always prefer the Kathryn Janeway I know best... the Kathryn Janeway that is my closest friend, the one sitting here with me now... and who somehow knew where I hid my stash of Andorian cider” he said with a smile, lightening the mood. “How did you know where I kept it anyway?”

            Kathryn looked in to his deep brown eyes, and seeing the warmth and raw emotion in them she smiled at him. “Well seeing as you broke the Temporal Prime Directive this evening then I guess I can too... I saw you carrying a bottle out of there one evening before we had dinner, I guessed that you kept in there and went and had a search one night when I couldn’t sleep.” She grinned at him “See no mystery here, just a nosy Captain with insomnia”

            They laughed, both of them knew how bad the other insomnia could be, sharing a bulkhead between their quarters they could often hear when the other was up and had kept each other company on my occasions before sleep had finally claimed one or both of them.

            They lapsed in to a comfortable silence again. Kathryn’s stomach growled loudly in the quiet, making Chakotay smile. “Kathryn... when was the last time you ate, and remember I can tell when you are lying”

            “Oh, I had breakfast this morning. I think that not having to brave Neelix’s cooking or be on replicator rations has woken my appetite again, and we did plan on having dinner together.”

            Chakotay smirked and rose from his seat, gathering both their cups up and recycling them in the replicator. It wasn’t necessary now for the energy but it was a habit that all the _Voyager_ crew had picked up from their time on rations when every bit of energy mattered. “Have you gotten on better with the replicator than the one in your quarters... or have you insulted this one already?” He joked.

            “I swear replicators have some secret way of talking to each other, this one has already incinerated a pot roast that I made when my mother came to visit” She grinned, her reputation with replicators and cooking in general had not gotten any better in all the years she had been using them and was a running joke amongst those closest to her, and probably those who knew her but they weren’t brave enough to say anything to her about it.

            “Alright, how about I programme us something to eat here, unless you particularly want to go out... although I did see a few press hanging around your door when I entered earlier.” Chakotay said, “They seem to have left most of the crew alone now, but it looks like you and I are still their favourites, other than Seven that is, but a returning Borg is bound to get attention, maybe as hope for those who have lost people to the Collective, I don’t know” Chakotay mused as he programmed the replicator with their dinner.

            “Let’s stay here then, I don’t really feel up to running the gauntlet this evening.” Kathryn replied, getting up from her chair and collecting the book from the floor, replacing it amongst her books from her quarters on _Voyager_. She hadn’t bought all of her things off the ship yet; most of the crew were the same, only taking a few things that they considered special to them, waiting until they had more permanent plans in place before they took that next step. Kathryn had taken her favourite books, some plain clothing and a photo of the senior staff from one of Neelix’s parties.

            “OK, so eggplant parmesan it is then” Chakotay said as the food shimmered in to existence in front of him. Kathryn began setting the table for them both as the slipped in to the comfortable routine, honed after many meals together over the years.

            As they sat together they started to discuss their ‘safe’ topics over dinner, simply enjoying each other’s company again, happy to leave their previous heavier discussion for another day, both knowing that it was the start of something, but not just yet.


	10. Seven of Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven has a comm session with the councillor

The standard Starfleet insignia was replaced by the upper body of the Starfleet councillor, Seven of Nine, formally of Tertiary Adjust Unimatix Zero One quickly placed his age at around 28 Earth years, and decided that he was too young for the task that he had been set by Starfleet Headquarters.

            “Seven of Nine, it is good of you to make time for me in your schedule. I understand that you are working with the EMH from _Voyager_ on Jupiter station.”

            “You are correct in your understanding Councillor” Seven said, her tone crisp and unemotional.

            “ _Voyager_ was not home for more than 3 days before you decided to accompany the Doctor to his programmers home, is there any reason why you decided to leave Earth so soon after returning home?”

            “I do not consider Earth to be my home.” Seven stated, when the silence between her and the councillor went on for too long she added, “My parents left Earth with me when I was 4 years old and I was assimilated in to the Borg Collective when I was 8 years old. I have no memories of Earth as my home. _Voyager_ was my Collective after Captain Janeway severed my connection to the hive mind.”

            “You used the term ‘severed’ from the hive mind” Bleniot noted, “Why is that?”

            “It is what occurred.”

            “Do you believe that is what Captain Janeway set out to do?”

            “When the connection was first terminated I initially resisted the individuality that I was faced with, but as the Borg say ‘Resistance is Futile’” Seven smiled, her humour starting to develop, “After a while I began to see that Captain Janeway could not have returned me to the Collective without endangering the rest of her crew, and ultimately she gave me the better option and assisted me in becoming an individual.”

            “How would you characterise your relationship with Captain Janeway?”

            “She is my Captain and I would consider her among my friends aboard _Voyager_ ”

            “Would you say you have many friends among the crew?”

            “I have made the _Voyager_ crew my Collective, however there are a few I would consider friends, Captain Janeway is in that group” Seven stated, she wasn’t one to give more information than was required.

            “Would you say that you count the Senior staff as friends? A support system for you now that _Voyager_ is home?” Bleniot felt like he had to work harder with Seven than he had with the other members of the crew.

            “They have provided me with support over the last few years, I see no reason why that would not continue to be the case should I require it, however my work with the Doctor is keeping me occupied.”

            “Seven, can I ask you about your impressions of the relationships to each other in the crew. As you were not aboard _Voyager_ for the first 3 years of their journey I am interested to know your thoughts about how they worked together, how their relationships with each other affected them.” Bleniot tried to turn the conversation to the more personal issues as he appeared to be getting nowhere with the ex-drone.

            “The crew were efficient.” Seven simply stated. Again the comm. filled with empty air, both people staring at each other through the screen. Bleniot cleared his throat hoping that Seven would elaborate.

            “Did their personal relationships with each other affect how the ship was run?”

            “Are you referring to the friendship between Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay? Or in general?” Seven queried

            “Let’s start with in general” Bleniot answered, not used to answering questions in his sessions.

            “I believe that the relationships that the crew formed usually helped in the running of the ship, they were aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and knew what they had to do in order to support members of their teams in battles” Seven paused, “However there were moments when the personal relationships between the crew became a distraction to themselves and others onboard.”

            “Do you mean gossip onboard Seven? On a ship the size of _Voyager_ there is going to be a lot of talk about other members of the crew.” Bleniot explained.

            “Yes there was a certain amount of ‘gossip’ onboard” Seven agreed.

            “OK so if in general it only generated a certain amount of gossip, what would you say about the Command teams relationship to each other” Bleniot asked, since Seven had bought it up he decided that he would continue with the line of questions he had been asking the other member of the Senior staff.

            “Their personal friendship never appeared to interfere in the running of the ship, however it could make it... uncomfortable for other members of the crew if they were around them and they had a disagreement.” Seven said, her emotionless nature taking over.

            “So you could tell when they had disagreed about something, did it matter if it was a personal or professional disagreement?”

            “I do not have that information with which to give you an answer”

            Seven was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the councillors questioning about Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, especially given the recent romantic connection that she and the Commander had shared, one which she had decided to end once they were back in the Alpha Quadrant. Seven had no longer wanted to stay in a relationship when she had more of humanity to experience, however she had discovered very quickly that the rest of the humanity on Earth only seemed either interested in her because she was ex-Borg or were scared of her because she was ex-Borg. As a result she had decided that she would leave Earth, the Doctor had informed her that he was leaving to visit his programmer, Doctor Lewis Zimmerman, on Jupiter station in order to give him a check up from the last time he had visited and Seven had requested to accompany him, which he had accepted.

            “What were your impressions of the Command teams’ relationship with each other?”

            “They shared a close friendship, and an unspoken understanding. Captain Janeway was able to communicate her wishes to the Commander with a simple look, and the Commander the same with her. The Captain was always touching the Commander as well, she used to touch other members of the crew too, however she favoured touching the Commander. I did notice that the Captain was less frequent with her physical touches later in to the journey home, but this did not appear to affect their friendship, at least not in front of the crew, I cannot state for how they were together in the privacy of either quarters.” Seven paused, “Why do you ask specifically about their friendship with each other?”

            “I have my reasons Seven, and I am not at liberty to discuss that with you” Bleniot stated, a note of warning in his voice. Seven shifted in her position, she was not used to not getting an answer. On _Voyager_ she often had the answers and when she had asked questions to find the answers that she did not posses they were given. She stared at the councillor, the Borg enhanced eyebrow raised in a mannerism picked up from Tuvok, the light catching the metal that remained there.

            “Then I believe that it the end of this session. I do not believe that I will require more sessions with you. I have the Doctor here and if I have any further need for emotional support then I shall ask him.” The screen quickly changed to the Starfleet insignia as Seven closed the channel. Bleniot was taken back, he had not experienced that kind of reaction from any other member of the _Voyager_ crew, and he wondered if there was something deeper going on between Seven of Nine and the Command team. He made a note to speak to both Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay about it during their next session.


	11. Tom and B'Elanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom and B'Elanna have a joint session

The couple sat close together on the sofa in the councillor’s office. Tom had talked B’Elanna in to the joint session, stating that they needed time away from Miral and his parents needed time to get to know their little granddaughter. She had agreed, reluctantly at first, but when he had suggested that they could get a meal on their way back, she had agreed.

            Tom shifted, subtly nudging B’Elanna as he saw Bleniot pick up his padd, preparing the start the session. They had both decided that they would attempt to keep the conversation limited to their relationship this time rather than Kathryn and Chakotay’s. Both were still uncomfortable with the amount of interest the young man was showing in their friends, it was beginning to boarder on obsessive.

            “Thank you for agreeing to this joint sessions Lt.’s Paris and Torres. I wanted to see you both together to try to get a sense of your relationship now that you are out of the _Voyager_ bubble.” Bleniot started, “Now that you have the added pressure of a child also”

            Tom bit back a laugh, B’Elanna smirked. If Bleniot thought that Miral was added pressure he obviously wasn’t that up to date with the mission’s reports from their days in the Delta Quadrant. Having Miral was like being on shore leave compared to the Borg; B’Elanna had already told their Captain that she was getting more sleep now than she did most nights on _Voyager_. Bleniot noticed their reactions to his mention of their daughter, and made a quick note.

            “Let’s start at the beginning shall we, how you would describe each other when you first met?” He asked, clasping his hands together in his lap, quietly observing the couple.

            B’Elanna looked at Tom, signalling she would answer first “I thought he was a pig” She stated, turning towards Bleniot, “I knew about him from the Maquis, he wasn’t exactly thought of highly amongst them, and to be honest when I first met him I could see why. He was cocky, a try hard, would try it on with any woman who crossed his path, except the Captain although I’m not sure that he wouldn’t have done if she wasn’t the Captain, I didn’t like him very much at all.” She turned back to her husband, “If it hadn’t been for my friendship with Harry, and Harry’s with Tom I don’t think I would have given him the time of day unless I had to. I guess you could say he grew on me”

            “Yea like a fungus huh B’E” Tom joked, “I thought she was brash, angry, constantly had her back up about something with a chip on her shoulder the size of a shuttle craft, but she was... interesting. The more I got to know her the more I liked her.” Tom twisted and smiled at his wife.

            “So it was a rocky start for you” Bleniot added, “What made you change from barely getting along to being friends?”

            Tom sighed, and leaned forward slightly, “What you have to understand is that life on _Voyager_ was different from any other ship in the whole of Starfleet. Here you have a chain of command that goes all the way up to the President, you have constant contact with home, friends and family are only a comm. call away, shore leave is pretty much a guarantee and you are always sure that you can get your next meal from the replicator or that the ship about to approach you is friendly or not... out there, it was just us. All we had was each other, we were never sure if we would have enough power to even run basic life support, and there were some days that were all we had. We relied on each member of the crew, there was no room for personal feelings at the start and when there was new opinions had begun to form.”

            “Exactly” B’Elanna agreed, “If I had listened to what was being said about Tom, or half of the Maquis by the Starfleet crew, or what the Maquis were saying about the Starfleet crew then there is no way that any of the friendships that we have now would exist. We were thrown, literally, across the other side of the galaxy, and immediately had to fight with each other for survival.”

            B’Elanna and Tom fell silent, memories of their first battles with the Kazon entered their minds, the betrayals they had experienced in the early days, by both Starfleet and Maquis crew members, the times that Starfleet and Maquis came together in order to pull off some daring plan. The small amount of information that people had about each other’s lives before the Delta Quadrant was quickly forgotten and replaced by experiences standing side by side.

            “Would you say then that the early days bonded the crew together?”

            “Yes, when you go through something like we have all been through, you learn very quickly what everyone is like, and they learn about you too. You’re forced to work together.” Tom answered, lightly placing a hand on B’Elanna’s leg to ground him in the present. His early days on _Voyager_ had been tough for him, trying to overcome his reputation with both the Starfleet personnel and the Maquis who knew him, like Chakotay.

            “Would you say that for the 2 crews, seeing Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay being able to work in harmony helped with that bonding to happen?”

            “I’m not sure that their personal relationship to each other had any bearing on the crew getting along together.” Tom said, feeling B’Elanna tense under his hand.

            “Are you sure? If they had been at odds with each other, that would surely have filtered through to the crew. Both of you have previously said that their mood with each other affected the mood on the Bridge... would that not be so for their professional relationship too?”

            “No” B’Elanna growled out

            “At the end of the day Chakotay always knew that Captain Janeway’s word with law, when she ordered something it was carried out, even if he didn’t agree with it.” Tom elaborated.

            Bleniot released his hands and made an entry on the padd. Returning his attention to the couple in front of him again, he cleared his throat before changing tact, “What prompted your relationship with each other to change?”

            B’Elanna blushed, remembering exactly when she had noticed her change in feelings towards the Helmsman, she leaned over and whispered lightly in to his ear, “Blood fever”, Tom chuckled in response, glad that their councillor was human and not gifted with Vulcan hearing.

            Tom cleared his throat, “There was an... incident that affected B’Elanna, we weren’t aware of it until we were trapped in a cave on an away mission, her brain chemistry was affected and her inhibitions lowered.” Tom fell silent, wanting to keep B’Elanna’s dignity and privacy intact, unless she chose to elaborate further. When she didn’t Bleniot tried another line of questioning.

            “Do you think if it hadn’t been for this incident that you would have explored your relationship further?”

            “We didn’t then, actually it was another mission that went wrong, and Tom and I were left drifting in space, with our air running out, that we finally confessed how we felt for each other.”

            “Call it death bed confessions” Tom smiled

            “And don’t forget the aliens that were messing with our hormones not long after. Who knows if all of this is a side affect or not” B’Elanna added, smiling at her Husband.

            “That’s right, I still remember the look in Tuvok’s face when he caught us kissing in Engineering” Tom joked

            “Or the Captain reprimanding us for our actions as well” B’Elanna smiled.

            The Captain was having her dopamine levels upped by the alien scientist and she hadn’t slept in almost a week when she had held them both back after a staff meeting, laying down the law to them. At the time she and Tom were in the early part of their relationship and not many of the crew were aware that they were a couple, and having been observed by other members of the crew the Captain was duty bound to raise it with them, but with her hormone levels just as out of sync as the couple were she had let them have it with both barrels. Once the aliens had been forced off the ship, by the Captain flying them in to 2 suns, and their treatments from the Doctor completed the Captain had called the couple to her Ready Room and had apologised for what had happened in the Briefing room, but still urged them to be more professional when on duty. The couple had accepted her apology and offered one of their own for their actions, again not knowing if their hormones were artificially started or simply increased by the experiments, had promised to be more careful. From then on the Captain had wished them well as her friends and they had continued to date quietly off duty.

            “Captain Janeway reprimanded you for having a relationship with each other?” Bleniot asked, he had not yet read the report so was not fully aware of what had occurred.

            “Well yes, but there was extenuating circumstances that were in play, we just weren’t aware of it at the time.” B’Elanna defended her commanding officer.

            “Do you think that she was jealous of your relationship, after all you were able to have something that she felt she couldn’t?” Bleniot asked

            Tom shifted in his seat again, feeling more uncomfortable with the topic that the session was again taking, the Captain and Commander.

            “No... we were being experimented on by aliens... what part of that did you not get” B’Elanna bristled, “By the time she was aware of our relationship, the Captain had become a friend to many of the crew as well as our commanding officer. There was no reason for her to be jealous of us, or any of the other relationships onboard.”

            Tom ran his hand over his wife’s thigh, trying to sooth her and help her keep her anger under control as it was always bubbling just under the surface. B’Elanna for her part took some deep breathes that Tuvok had taught her to help to reduce her temper and the tendency that it erupted with.

            Bleniot noticed that the couple in front of him were on the edge of their tolerance with his line of questioning, again he changed tact. “How do you feel now that you have Miral?” The couple looked up at him, struck in the change in conversation and both started to relax.

            B’Elanna lit up at the mention of her daughter’s name, and Tom grinned like a Cheshire cat.

            “It feels like completion.” Tom said, “She has bought a deeper meaning to my life, and in a way she has helped to mend the relationship with my parents. You probably know that we haven’t had the easiest of relationships.”

            “I feel the same way, she is like the little bridge between me and my father too, helping us to get back in touch and build a relationship, and we didn’t really have one for a lot of years.” B’Elanna fell silent.

            “How are you finding life on Earth again, both as a couple and as a family?” Bleniot asked

            “Good, now that the press have started to leave us alone, think we got too boring for them, and we aren’t the command team, so we aren’t interesting enough to hold their attention for more than a few days” Tom laughed

            “And we still see everyone regularly, most of the _Voyager_ crew are still in San Francisco, waiting for debriefings or to be told what will happen next for us all. Even those of us that Starfleet sent _Voyager_ out to capture in the first place” B’Elanna added

            “Is there anyone in particular that you see more than others?”

            “Well, I see most of my Engineering crew, and some from Astrometrics, like the Delany’s, and obviously those members of the Senior staff that are here as well. In fact I saw the Captain the other day for a coffee.” B’Elanna said, trying not to give too much away, of course Bleniot knew that she and Kathryn were friends and were bound to get together but she didn’t want to give him anymore than that. “And I see Chakotay quite a bit too, especially since he and I are in the same boat where Starfleet is concerned.”

            It suddenly dawned on B’Elanna what the real reason behind all of Bleniot’s questions may be, she glanced at her Husband to see if he had made the connection too, they were able to communicate with small glances and touches, honed over the years working closely together, the tap of his thumb on her leg told her that he had.

            Both clammed up again on any subject other than their relationship and their new life on Earth with Miral and Tom’s family. Bleniot must have noticed the change in their domineer again as he closed the session earlier than expected. _Voyager’s_ Chief Engineer and Helmsman almost bolted out of the office door, eager to speak to their Command team.


	12. Tuvok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tuvok has a short conversation with the Councillor

The Starfleet insignia was replaced by the face of _Voyager’s_ Chief of Security and Tactical Officer. His stern Vulcan expression filled the screen. Bleniot straightened immediately, feeling under scrutiny.

“Commander Tuvok, thank you for making the time to speak with me.” Bleniot said

“I was told that my sessions with you were required by Starfleet Headquarters.”

“Still I thank you, I am aware that you are receiving medical treatment on Vulcan so I appreciate you making time for me.” Bleniot stated before shuffling in his seat, preparing to start the session.

“I am under medical treatment, however it had concluded today. How would you like to begin?” Tuvok asked

“I would like to ask you about your time on _Voyager._ I understand from the personnel files that you were on the Maquis ship with Commander Chakotay; that you were one of the reasons that _Voyager_ was sent out to look for them in the first place.”

“You are correct Councillor.”

“What can you tell me about the early days of being on _Voyager_ after the Caretaker pulled you in to the Delta Quadrant.”

Tuvok paused for a moment, “They were days of great tension, _Voyager_ was thrown in to the Delta Quadrant after the _Val Jean_ and it was unlikely that they would be pulled in too by the Caretaker. However once they were and the 2 crews were forced to work together in order to find our missing crewmen, the working dynamic between the crews started to change.”

Bleniot nodded, “But it must have been a relief to see Captain Janeway again, to be able to reveal that you were in fact Starfleet and not Maquis?”

Tuvok raised his eyebrow, “That is not something I have considered. As far as I was aware I was doing my duty, however you are correct, I was... glad to see Captain Janeway again. She is, after all, a great friend”

“You said that the first days were tense on _Voyager_ , can you explain why that was?”

“By definition the Maquis were enemies of Starfleet, and Captain Janeway had been ordered to go to the Badlands and bring the Maquis crew back to stand trial. If we had not been forced to live and work together, due to the destruction of the _Val Jean_ then I do not believe it would have formed in to the bond which exists today. Some of that is due to working relationship between the Captain and the Commander, they led by example to the rest of the crew in the early days.” Tuvok explained.

“So you believe that the Captain and Commander influenced how the 2 crews saw each other?”

“Yes, the crew was able to see them working together, at least in the public view of the crew, however in private there were a few disagreements but they were quickly resolved.” Tuvok said, remembering the disagreement between Janeway and Chakotay over finding the Kazon spy among the crew. It had been Tuvok’s choice to leave the Commander out of it, but he had deflected his anger at the Captain.

“So it wasn’t always so easy for them?”

Again Tuvok’s eyebrow rose, higher than the previous time, “No relationship, professional or personal, is always easy”

“Agreed, however their professional relationship became a personal one didn’t it. How did that affect the 2 crews working together in your opinion?”

“It is clear that you have never been in space for a long period of time Councillor. When you are aboard ship, personal relationships form more quickly than they do on Earth, simply because you are all together. In the case of _Voyager’s_ crew, there was no one else with whom we could form strong bonds with. However, with regards to the command teams relationship, from what I observed of them, there exists a deep friendship between them.”

Bleniot waited for the Vulcan to continue, however when he didn’t Bleniot simply made a note and continued on. “Do you believe that the disagreements affected the crew also?”

“How do you mean?”

“You said that the professional relationship that formed quickly between the command team helped the rest of the crew integrate better, so is the reverse true... could the crew pick up on when they did disagree?”

“I do not believe so, too many of the crew, however to those who knew them better and spent more time in their company, like the Bridge crew and Senior staff, there were little hints. The Captain would retire to her Ready Room earlier in the Bridge shift, or the Commander would not look at her as often when they were speaking. The easy ‘banter’ that was often on the Bridge during the Alpha shift with the Command team would not occur, even Mr. Paris would be quiet.”

“So you were able to pick up on that, did they happen frequently?”

“No more frequently than any other Captain and First Officer I have served with.” Simple and stated.

“Thank you Commander.”

Tuvok inclined his head; he wasn’t exactly sure what the Councillor wanted to know however he was willing to ‘entertain’ the man a little longer. Inwardly Tuvok smiled, recognising that some of Tom Paris’ phases had become part of his vocabulary now, a sign that his treatment was not yet complete on Vulcan.

“Do you think that you will return to Earth at any time in the near future? I would very much like to be able to conduct a session in person rather than over the Comm.”

“I intend to return to Earth once my treatment is completed here on Vulcan, I also believe that my presence will be required during the debriefings with Starfleet before I am reassigned or given leave.” Tuvok said, “I must apologise Councillor but I am required elsewhere at this time, I must end this conversation.”

“I understand Commander, thank you for making yourself available to speak with me. Please can you inform me when you are able to return to Earth so we can schedule any further sessions.”

Tuvok nodded and closed the channel. Standing from the desk that he was sat at in his family home, he stretched and made himself a cup of Vulcan tea before opening another Comm. to his old friend.


	13. Kathryn and Tuvok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn thinks over the Comm call with her old friend

Chakotay met Kathryn outside her building, they had decided that going to a session together was a good idea, especially after Kathryn had heard from Tuvok and from Seven of Nine that the questions about her relationship with her First Officer was still very much a subject of conversation within his other sessions with her Senior staff. When she had mentioned it to Chakotay in their comm. call the previous evening he had immediately gone quiet and Kathryn had seen his face cloud over in anger. _There’s the angry warrior that I met_ she thought; a small smile tugging at her lips.

Together they walked to their session with Councillor Bleniot, Chakotay half a step behind his Captain and to her left as always. They talked over the conversation that Kathryn had with Tuvok, she knew him better than Chakotay did and could often read the emotions that were buried beneath his Vulcan calm, however with the illness that he was battling it was easier than ever for her to read him. Tuvok was concerned and worried for her and to some extent for Chakotay.

******

“Captain, I have just had a conversation with Councillor Bleniot.” Tuvok had said as soon as his face had appeared on her screen. “I have reason to believe that there is more to his line of questioning that there appears to be, he show particular interest...”

“In my relationship with Commander Chakotay” Janeway said, holding her hand up. “You are not the first person to mention this to myself or Chakotay” Kathryn sighed, she had hoped that by now the curiosity that Bleniot was showing would have disappeared by now, in fact the opposite appeared to be true.

“I do not know what he is ultimately after, however it would be illogical for you or the Commander to allow this to continue much further”

“We have a joint session with him tomorrow; we are going to face him together. Tuvok, what exactly did he ask you about us?”

“The Councillor seemed to be focused on how your interactions with Commander Chakotay influenced the crew, if we were able to pick up on any disagreements that you may have had or to what the nature of your personal relationship may have been” Tuvok stated, he had learnt in the years of serving with Kathryn Janeway that it was better to be straight forward with her, after all, she herself was not one to ‘beat about the bush’ as Tom Paris would say.

“What did you say?” Kathryn asked, shy and concerned what his answer would be. Tuvok had known Kathryn better than anyone else onboard, with perhaps the exception of Chakotay. They had shared mind melds, and he had taught her to meditate when life was getting too much for her, but she knew that if there was anyone else she could trust to keep his opinions on her relationship with Chakotay it was Tuvok.

“I told him that your close professional relationship allowed the crews to bond together faster than they would have under anyone else, and that I believed you had a deep personal friendship that allowed the professional relationship to function as well as it did.” Tuvok paused, unsure of how to phrase the next piece of information, “However... I did also tell him that to me, as I know you so well, when you and the Commander disagreed I could tell, however it did not affect the rest of the crew, beyond those whom I believe you would now call friends.”

Kathryn nodded, absorbing the information. Tuvok wasn’t the first person to tell her that they knew when she and Chakotay had an argument, both personal and professional. “I am sorry Tuvok, I didn’t realise that so many people were affected by those disagreements”

“Captain, the only reason that people noticed is because they care for both you and the Commander. I expect if you asked those crewmen who were not directly involved with you or the Commander on a day to day basis, they would not have known anything about the state or nature of your relationship with the Commander.”

Kathryn smiled weakly; she wasn’t sure how to take the information that Tuvok was giving her, knowing that she could trust his honesty. He had only ever done something when he believed it was in her best interest, including stealing the spacial folding device early in their journey home. “You know Tuvok; I think you had as much to do with the bonding of the 2 crews as any of us. Don’t think I have forgotten that you went against my direct orders...twice, while we were out there.”

“Both times it was the logical choice”

Kathryn smiled, this time it reached her eyes. She knew that this was as close as Tuvok got to making a joke. “And both times it bought the crew, Starfleet and Maquis, together. I don’t think I ever did thank you properly for standing by my side out there, not only as Security Chief but also as my friend.”

Tuvok simply bowed his head slightly, emotions starting to swell inside him. “It has been my honour to serve under you... and to call you my friend”

“And mine too. Thank you for contacting me about your session with the Councillor; do you have any others with him before your return to Earth?”

“Not at this time Captain and I do not intend to contact him unless I am returning to Earth and this matter is resolved to your satisfaction.”

“Understood. How is T’Pel now that you are home? She must be happy to have her husband back with her.”

“She is well, thank you, and she is also assisting with my treatment. I am thankful to you for bringing me back to her.” Tuvok said; the emotions were getting dangerously close to the surface. Only Kathryn Janeway and the EMH knew about his illness and what it entailed, however a loss of control would lead to a setback in his recovery so he mentally started to rebuild the walls.

“Well, I will let you get back to her. I look forward to seeing you again on Earth soon, Old friend.” Kathryn touched the screen, seeing the emotion bubbling in the Vulcan’s eyes.

“I will contact you again when I am making plans to return” Tuvok said and ended the call. Kathryn leaned back in her chair and sighed loudly. She was starting to get really concerned now. It was unusual for Tuvok to be this concerned about something, sure he had always been a bit of a mother hen with her on _Voyager_ but that was his job, now they were home she had hoped he could relax a little about it, but that was not the case with Bleniot poking around.

B’Elanna had contacted her, conferencing in Chakotay and having Tom at her side earlier in the day, she had a theory from her and Tom’s session as to why the Councillor was so interested, Chakotay and she had been surprised but listening to B’Elanna and Tom explain it all, the pieces were starting to fall in to place for her. Their session was going to be interesting to say the least.


	14. Kathryn and Chakotay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Command Team have their 1st session with the Councillor... will there be a 2nd?

Janeway and Chakotay arrived early for their appointment; she sat quietly in one of the chairs against the wall nearest the Councillors door while Chakotay paced back and forth. She knew him well enough to know that he was anxious and stressed at the thought of what they might be asked in that room together. Truth be told so was she, but her Command training had taken over her emotions so she was able to hide it better.

The doors swished open and Councillor Bleniot stepped out. “Good Morning Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, would you like to come in?” He said, sweeping his arm in to the room behind him. They both nodded, Janeway stood and Chakotay allowed her to enter first, falling back in to his usual position half a step behind her.

The pair settled themselves on the sofa, sat slightly apart but close enough that they felt supported by the others presence.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me together, given your crews bond to one another I wanted to get a sense of the relationship amongst the Senior staff, particularly yourselves as it seems that your relationship to each other influenced those of your crew.” Janeway raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips, while Chakotay tried his best to hide a smile.

“If it did, then it was not intentional.” Janeway stated, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap, reminiscent of her usual position while in her chair on the bridge.

“Intentional or not it has.” Bleniot replied, “Could you tell me more about your relationship in the early days of your journey on _Voyager_ ”

The Command team glanced at each other, silently asking who would start; Chakotay lost the mental coin toss between them, pulling on his ear, as was his habit when uncomfortable, he sighed before starting, “What you have to understand is that when the Captain and I met both our ships had been pulled across the Galaxy, we had missing crew members and I had discovered that not only was Tom Paris aboard with her but that my newest member of crew was actually working for her... so it wasn’t exactly a smooth start.” He glanced over at Kathryn, who was watching him intently. “However, once we started working together I began to respect her as the Captain that she was, I mean within the first few days of meeting she had a choice of letting me die or saving my life, she chose to save my life, and for that I began to respect her for the person she was as well as the leader.”

“I never knew that, was that why you agreed to be my First Officer?” Kathryn asked.

Chakotay nodded, “When I left Starfleet, it was because I had lost respect for them and what they stood for, especially after Dorvan was destroyed and Starfleet allowed it to happen because of that treaty, but because you had chosen to save me, valuing human life over the orders you had received from Starfleet I respected you more than I did the institution that you served. I decided that I would be your First Officer, not Starfleet’s.” Seeing Kathryn frown slightly he quickly added “Also being your First Officer made sense as we blended our crews together.”

Kathryn nodded. If they had been alone then she would have put her hand on his chest and tried to sooth the worry that she saw flit across his face, however as they were in the company of Councillor Bleniot, she resisted the urge. Instead she cleared her throat, “Thank you Chakotay. If I had known that then maybe we wouldn’t have had some of the issues that we did have together, especially then.”

“What do you mean Captain?” Bleniot asked

“Well, if I am honest, I didn’t trust you either, at least not fully.” She looked down at her hands “But I guess you knew that given the whole uncovering the spy situation.” She looked at Chakotay, he pursed his lips but smiled at her, it was a long sorted issue between them, but he couldn’t deny that it had hurt at the time. “Anyway, after he and I began to work together, working with _our_ crew, the respect grew and so did our friendship. It didn’t take long for me to realise that he would do anything for the ship and for the crew, both Starfleet and Maquis Crews.”

Chakotay looked at her, if he didn’t know her as well as he did then he wouldn’t of been able to see the guilt and pain that crossed her blue eyes, he wanted to comfort her, but couldn’t with their friendship under scrutiny by the man opposite them.

“Did you notice a shift in your crews relationship to each other change after or before yours did?” Bleniot asked

“I first noticed it happening one day in the Mess hall with Commander Tuvok.” Kathryn said, smiling, “I still don’t know what it was that they were laughing at, other than it was something to do with Harry Kim, but it was such an easy laugh between them all. I believe I commented on it to him that it was ‘finally happening’, I got his usual Vulcan response about productivity onboard” She laughed remembering her friends’ reaction to the crews melding in to one group rather than separated.

“I didn’t really notice it until the folding space fiasco... do you remember that it involved both Starfleet and Maquis. I never thought I would see the day that both crews would work together so well in order to carry out a mission that you had given no authorisation to... or even knew about at the time” Chakotay said smiling at her, trying to let her know that although it had upset her at the time it was one of the better memories from their earlier days, if only to bring the 2 crews together.

“So your professional relationship with each other was forged quite early on then?” Bleniot asked.

“I’m not going to lie and say it was easy, there was a few bumps in the road, but yes, professionally we worked together well from quite early on.” Janeway said, not elaborating.

“I think it was from when I realised you listened to my opinion on the running of the ship, when you promoted B’Elanna over Joe Carey because I told you she was a better engineer. It was then that I realised that we could work together without constantly fighting.” Chakotay said, looking at Kathryn. She gave him one of her trademark lopsided smiles and nodded her head.

“What about personally? It is clear that you have a friendship, when did that really form?” Bleniot asked, breaking the moment between the Command Team.

Both looked down for a moment, they realised that they were going to have to talk about something that they had only spoken to each other about. “New Earth” Kathryn whispered.

Up until that point they had been friends, but didn’t spend a lot of their off duty hours together, after they spent most of their time together and they were freer with each other. Chakotay shuffled in his seat, he was happy to let Kathryn take the lead with New Earth, they had both known it would come up, but it was still something that often remained unspoken between them, and never bought up to anyone else, even the EMH didn’t know what had happened to them while they were alone on their planet.

“I take it that you are referring to the planet that you and the Commander were stranded on after you both contracted an illness.” Bleniot stated. Kathryn nodded, but again did not elaborate. Bleniot realised this was not going to be easy. “Could you tell me how you both came to be infected?”

“We were running low on supplies of food and Neelix had told us that there was an uninhabited planet in the area that we could get what we needed. We always tried to use uninhabited worlds as it was easier than negotiating and trading in the early part of our journey, we didn’t have much we could trade then, anyway, as the planet was deemed safe all the Senior staff were given teams of people and a schedule to go down and collect what we needed. The Commander and I had met to discuss how the supplies were coming along, and that’s when we were bitten by some insect. I still don’t know what it was that bit us, I never did find out what it was before my equipment was destroyed in a storm. When we beamed back aboard _Voyager_ we both became ill, almost immediately, the Doctor worked for days to find a cure while we were placed in stasis, but he couldn’t find anything in the database to cure us, so the decision was made to leave us behind, as we were OK on the surface.” Kathryn cleared her throat; she had been looking at her hands the whole time explaining it to Bleniot. She hadn’t mentioned anything more than what he could have got from the official logs.

“When we were revived from stasis and the Doctor informed us that his search had been unsuccessful it was... tough. Both of us had worked tirelessly trying to get the crew home, and now we were having to be left behind and let them go on without us both” Chakotay continued, “We had a discussion and decided that it was best to let the crew go on and to order them not to contact the Vidians, even though they were medically advanced, the risk was too great to the crews safety. It was probably one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make, both personally and professionally.” Chakotay wanted to reach out and touch Kathryn’s hand, to comfort her, but the emotions playing across her eyes made him stop, he knew that any physical contact at that moment would crumble the wall she was desperately trying to keep up.

“How long were you left on the planet?”

“A couple of months” Kathryn answered

“That must have been difficult? How did you both cope with it?”

“I built the shelter, things to make our lives easier while we were there, while Kathryn worked on finding a cure. I’m not very good at the science side of things so I mainly took care of the day to day things.” Chakotay said, only realising that he had used Kathryn’s name rather than her title after he finished speaking. He turned and glanced at her, but she was looking away from him, her chin in her hand, another gesture he had seen frequently during their time in the Delta Quadrant. She was thinking and remembering.

“When you say built things?”

“Well...” He cleared his throat but Kathryn spoke up. “Things that made the shelter less of a structure and more of a home for us.” She looked at the landscape on the wall rather than at either of the 2 men in the room with her.

Chakotay took the hint and decided not to name the specifics, Kathryn wanted to keep them just between the 2 of them, he knew that she had kept the bath tub that he had built her in storage on _Voyager_ and the headboards he had made were there too, she was just waiting to get settled before she took them to her new home on Earth.

“Was that when you allowed the Commander to call you by your first name Captain?”

“We weren’t in a command structure anymore; it seemed silly to insist that he called me Captain when there was only the 2 of us on the whole planet... apart from the monkey.” She smiled at the mention of the furry little creature that had startled her one night while she was in the tub soaking away her stress of the day. Chakotay smiled too, remembering the state that he found her in when he had rushed out, phaser drawn, to protect her.

“Understandable, you didn’t take it back once you were onboard though”

“No, by that time our personal friendship was deeper, and it would have been a bit over the top to insist that we went back to what we were before New Earth.” Kathryn said, this time she turned to face the Councillor, she was better in control of her emotions Chakotay realised; the Captain was back in control of Kathryn again.

“But no one else onboard ever referred to you as Kathryn. Wasn’t that lonely?” Bleniot asked.

Kathryn knew he was wrong, only 2 other people had called her Kathryn, both had been aliens that they had met along the way, but he was right in that none of the crew, except the Doctor when he was full of himself being famous on an alien world, had ever called her Kathryn. She had never wanted them to.

“I am their Captain, and that is how they needed to see me, even in our off duty time.” Kathryn stated, glancing at Chakotay. Had he never realised that by allowing him to use her first name she was allowing him closer to her than any other member of the crew, treating him as an equal? The look in his eyes of sudden realisation told her that he hadn’t.

“How was it when you returned to the ship?” Bleniot asked

“It was...a... difficult transition for us both.” Chakotay said. “We had just gotten used to the idea of being on the planet for the rest of our lives, and then to get a message from Commander Tuvok to inform us that they would be collecting us in 30 hours, it was hard to shift back to the Command structure again”

“But we managed it, our working relationship came back naturally, I would say that our friendship took a little more time to heal.” Kathryn said, looking at the man next to her again. He nodded, remembering the formal interactions that they had on the Bridge and nothing more than nods while off duty, until they had realised that their friendship would work on _Voyager_ and would likely strengthen their working relationship too. After a week onboard it was like they hadn’t been away... until the Kazon stole their ship, but that was a different story.

“Do you think that the crew saw a difference in your relationship?”

“If they did, it was never commented on; at least not directly to me.” Kathryn said, “What about you Chakotay, the crew were always closer to you than me.”

Chakotay shifted again, he had known that they saw a difference, in fact Tom Paris had set up a betting pool of whether or not they had become a couple on New Earth and if they were continuing it behind closed doors onboard. As far as he was aware no one had taken the bet that they weren’t a couple and it was an even split between the crew as to their being together onboard, but he didn’t want to tell Kathryn about that now, and he certainly didn’t want Bleniot to know and it getting back to Starfleet. “They noticed we were closer, but other than that nothing was mentioned. As far as they were concerned it was nothing to talk about as the ship ran better.”

The second that Bleniot sat straighter Chakotay knew he had said something he was about to sink his teeth in to, Kathryn noticed it too and turned more towards her First Officer, her expression grim and lips pursed.

“So the running of the ship was affected by your relationship to each other?”

“Not directly...no.” Chakotay stuttered, “I mean it was obvious to those who knew us well if there was something going on between us but I don’t think that the lower decks ever knew anything.” He shifted, uncomfortable under Kathryn’s death glare.

“When did they know, specifically” Kathryn asked, ignoring the Councillor in the room, her eyes glued to her First Officer.

“They didn’t know every time Kathryn... only the major disagreements. Like with the Borg agreement, and the Equinox.” Chakotay looked at her, silently pleading with her not to make a thing of it now.

“So only when you went against my direct orders.” Kathryn stated, her voice hard but her eyes softening a little, “Well any crew would know that the Captain isn’t going to be exactly happy with her First Officer for disobeying a direct order” She saw Chakotay relax a little, he knew that she wouldn’t let it rest but she was happy enough to discuss it in private later.

“Are they the only times that you disagreed?”

“Of course not. We were out there for 7 years!” Kathryn exclaimed, internally rolling her eyes. She was starting to lose her patience with this Councillor and was wondering who had assigned him to her Senior staff, he didn’t come across as the most skilled Councillor that Starfleet could have offered them, and she knew that Deanna Troi was planet side and she had heard it from Jean-Luc when he had suggested that she visit his Councillor after their return home.

“Every Command team have disagreements, and some have more of an impact than others” Chakotay elaborated, trying to calm his Captain and Friend.

“Understandable, but not every Command team are stranded 75,000 light years from headquarters, and without a Councillor onboard.” Bleniot said, “So when things between you weren’t going well, how did you blow off steam or overcome the issue?”

“Holodeck” They both said in unison. It was the same answer that many of the crew had given, there was after all very little anyone could do on a ship as small as _Voyager_ , but when you could get time in the Holodeck you could be anywhere or do anything that you could imagine. Chakotay had his boxing with Boothby, Tom and Harry had Captain Proton adventures, Neelix and Naomi had the Flotter adventure and Kathryn had Da Vinci. Of course the crew enjoyed some programmes together like Sandrine’s, The Resort and Fair Haven, but most of the time it was time to spend with wither friends or alone.

Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay wanted to go in to detail about what they did on the Holodeck, either together or alone, but they were happy enough to discuss what they did when socialising with the crew as a whole.

“Do you remember hustling Tom Paris at pool in Sandrine’s?” Chakotay asked

“Yes, it was probably the first time that I really socialised with the Crew at all, and I still remember the look on Tom’s face when the holographic gigolo propositioned me” She laughed.

“I think that was the first time you were able to actually let your hair down with the crew. You asked me for my ‘stick’ as I seem to recall” He chuckled as she coloured slightly, “I have never seen someone fake innocence so well as to be able to take Tom Paris in”

“He spent the rest of the time in Sandrine’s trying to beat me.” She smiled, “And when he couldn’t Sandrine’s became barely used, of course we had Neelix’s resort by then.”

“Who could resist the Resort; it had a lot to offer.” He smiled and tugged at his ear. Kathryn knew he was remembering the half naked holographic staff that filled the positions of various water sports instructors.

“If you say so, I only ever really visited there at the functions we used to have there, morale boosters as Neelix put it.” Kathryn said. Back then she had been more interested in the old Horror Romance novels that she had been given before she had taken _Voyager_ out of their 3 week mission to the badlands; it was the longest 3 week mission in Starfleet history.

“So the crew saw you together outside of duty?” Bleniot said, his voice breaking the memories that the Command team were sharing. Kathryn was slightly pleased as they hadn’t bought up Fair Haven yet, and that would have ultimately led to Michael Sullivan being discussed, not something that Kathryn wanted or was particularly proud of.

“Well yes, we used to go to most of the parties together, stay for a while and then usually leave before the end so that the crew could have some time without the Command team watching them.” Kathryn said, “They knew we were friends and that was fine by them.”

“Did they ever believe anything more what going on between you both?”

Both Chakotay and Kathryn looked at the Councillor with their death glares, Kathryn’s was slightly more effective than Chakotay’s, honed with years of Command training and natural ability from her mother. The Councillor shifted, uncomfortable under their glares.

“How exactly are we supposed to know what the crew thought about our friendship?” Kathryn asked, her anger bubbling under the surface. This was one of the reasons that she had been reluctant to have anything more with Chakotay while they were onboard, why she had ultimately had pushed him away, in to the arms of Seven of all people. Chakotay clenched his jaw, he had wanted more, especially after New Earth, he also knew about the betting pools, and more of the gossip than Kathryn had been.

Kathryn abruptly stood, Chakotay followed suit more out of habit than anything else. “I believe this session is over Councillor. I don’t know what you are hoping to gain by asking us and our crew such strange questions about our relationship onboard _Voyager_ but nothing beyond a deep friendship occurred between us.” With that she turned on her heel and walked out of the room, Chakotay a half step behind her as usual.

It wasn’t until they were standing in the sunshine a block away from the Councillors office that Chakotay had even realised that he had followed her. _Well the habits of a lifetime will take a lifetime to change_ he thought as they continued to walk back towards Kathryn’s apartment.


	15. Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn vents, Chakotay calms his Captain

The 10 minute walk back to Kathryn’s apartment passed in a tense silence. Chakotay had wanted to stop Kathryn and make her talk, but he knew from experience that was a bad idea. As soon as the door closed behind them, Kathryn twisted on her heel and faced her First Officer.

“What the hell was that about with Bleniot, Chakotay?” She demanded

“I’m not sure what you mean Kathryn, did I say something?” He asked, confused by her anger seemingly pointed at him.

She sighed, allowing her shoulders to sag as she reached a hand up to rub her temples, a headache just starting to threaten. “It’s nothing that you did... although you were probably more open with him than I thought you were going to be.” She admitted, “But it isn’t in your nature to conceal things anymore”

“Then why are you so angry?” Chakotay asked, stepping a little closer to her, “What did I tell him that you didn’t want him to know, or that he didn’t already know from talking to the others?”

“It was nothing that you said Chakotay.” She took a cleansing breath “It was just the memories that were bought up I guess; things that I had forgotten and some that I would rather forget.” _Others that I cherish privately_ she thought.

Chakotay could read her face quite well and knew that she was mainly angry at herself, she had remembered feelings she had long thought buried and times she had allowed herself to let Kathryn over take the Captain.

“Things like New Earth?” Chakotay asked quietly, reaching out to put his hand on her shoulder.

Kathryn nodded, but kept her eyes on the floor, fighting to control her emotions that were all threatening to overtake her. The anger she had felt in the Councillors office had faded, giving way to uncertainty, hurt, sadness and confusion.

“Talk to me Kathryn. I meant what I said back then; I will always be by your side to make your burdens lighter.”

“But you weren’t, not at the end” She whispered, the words out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“You mean Seven?” Chakotay asked, he was certain that she did, it was the only romantic entanglement that he had had out there that didn’t have a definite date of ending when _Voyager_ passed out of the system and comm. range, but with Seven of Nine, she was part of their crew, and would always be.

Kathryn didn’t say anything; instead she took a step back, breaking the contact with him. He let his hand fall back to his side, taking a step back, giving her the space from him to gather herself again.

“Why her?” Was all that she could say, her brain had refused to stop asking the question ever since the Admiral had told her that Chakotay and Seven had married in her timeline. It had felt like a vice that had refused to let go of her heart.

“I don’t know, if I’m honest, she was there, she asked, she wanted me.” He admitted. The years of having to hide how he felt for Kathryn had taken their toll on him. In the beginning he hadn’t been interested in any of the other women onboard, he had been scarred by Seska and her betrayal of not only the crew but him personally, there had been crew members interested in him in the early years, but he had only had eyes for Kathryn. As the years rolled by, particularly after New Earth, it was just assumed by the crew that they were together. He had been content with the friendship between them, for a while it had looked like there might have been something more between them, but that had never occurred. When they had received their first letters from home and Kathryn had found out that Mark had married someone else, he had hoped that she would admit what she felt for him, but instead they had plastered smiles on their faces and attended a party, and the subject had been forgotten again.

The loneliness within him had grown and the friendship between them stopped being the balm to heal it, instead it became an ache within him. He had watched couples forming on _Voyager_ and the happiness that it bought them, he had envied B’Elanna and Tom being able to start a family and be able to love one another in the open. So when Seven had approached him and expressed an interest in him, his heart had started to ache less, so he had agreed. Looking back on it, if he had known that only a week later they would be home and Kathryn would be free from the burden that Command had become to her in the Delta Quadrant, he would have waited for her, but as Tom Paris would say Hindsight is 20/20.

“Kathryn, it’s not as though there weren’t other people for both of us out there. We decided years ago that _Voyager_ would come first.”

“No, I decided that, you just followed orders.”She admitted. Kathryn remembered all the reasons she had laid out why they couldn’t give in to their feelings, and at the time it had felt right, home could have been just round the corner, but as the years had drawn on the hope of getting home had started to fade, and protocols seemed to matter less, but she had thought he no longer felt the same way about her anymore, that he was content with their friendship. Without it she knew that she would not have survived the 7 years out there.

“Be that as it may Kathryn, I agreed with you at the time.” He sighed, and again took a step closer to her, needing to be nearer, he was surprised when she took half a step forward to meet him. “But over the years they started to mean less and less to me as _Voyager_ became a home rather than just another Star ship, and the crew became more a family than just people who found themselves in the same situation together.”

“Why didn’t you say anything to me?”

“I tried a couple of times, but then we would be interrupted by _Voyager_ in some way, and then it would be forgotten.” He answered; again taking a step forward to close the distance he was feeling between them, more than the physical space.

She didn’t say anything; instead she turned and headed to the replicator, the sudden urge for space and a coffee taking over. She paused and ordered her coffee and Chakotay his usual tea. Lifting the drinks she moved over to the sofa and sat down, placing both the cup on the table in front of her. Leaning back she unzipped her uniform jacket, allowing it to fall open as her head rested against the sofa back. Chakotay moved around and sat at the other end of the sofa, just far enough away not to be invading her space, but close enough to give her that support of his presence.

“Those last few years were harder than the start weren’t they?” She said softly.

“They were the same difficulty, just for different reasons. Remember in those first few years we had to learn to work together, function as a unit, learn how to survive, we lost the ship, saw a duplicate _Voyager_ blown up, had to find spies on our own crew and it was a constant struggle for basic things here in the Alpha Quadrant. In the last years, I think it was just that time had taken its toll on us all. You especially.” Chakotay replied. “And once we were in contact with Starfleet again, the sense of homesickness that had been forgotten suddenly came back again, but the ability to talk to loved ones but knowing that you were probably never going to see them in person again was difficult for many of the crew.”

“Perhaps that’s why we did what we did, forming fleeting relationships with others” Kathryn admitted, “Being connected to home again made us realise how lonely we truly were.”

“Is that what it was for you Kathryn?”

“Maybe, I told you that I had been using Mark as a safety net that night after I received his letter, and I suppose it was only after that I started to feel able to become involved with other men.” She ran her fingers through her hair, gently massaging the throbbing that was starting to become apparent there. “But did I ever pick them” She smiled.

“It was a rouges gallery that’s for sure. Kashyk, tried to take us in the custody and dismantle the ship, Jaffen, but then I suppose you were brainwashed for that one, and then of course there was Michael, you deleted his wife!” Chakotay chuckled

“It wasn’t just me, Mister. Let’s see, there was Seska, a Cardassian spy on your crew who tried to sell us out to the Kazon, Riley Fraser, the ex-Borg who manipulated you in to doing her bidding, some woman called Kellan, that neither of us can remember but you have a written page about, Vanessa, the 8472 in human form, and our very own beauty Seven of Nine” She smiled at him, letting him know she was only joking with him, after all she had not mentioned the child that Seska had tried to claim was Chakotay’s, deeply hurting him at the time.

“We are a fine pair aren’t we” Chakotay laughed, “If only that monkey hadn’t of disturbed us on New Earth... things could have been so different”

“You would never have seen me in that towel if it wasn’t for the monkey” She grinned at him.

“Then I have a lot to thank him for” Chakotay grinned back, reaching to collect his tea from the table. Picking up her drink as well, he passed it to her, which she took, thankful as she had almost forgotten it was there.

“We really did let ‘us’ get in to such a mess didn’t we.” She sighed, breathing in the smell of her coffee before taking a mouthful.

“Only the romantic side of things, I think that this” he waved his hand between the 2 of them, “what we have now, is pretty good, and what it took to get his here is just part of the story.”

Kathryn swallowed her coffee, and murmured her agreement, “Yes it is. I honestly don’t know what I would have done out there if I hadn’t had you by my side Chakotay.”

“I certainly wouldn’t have followed another Captain, at least not without more of a fight.” He smiled at her and reached over to take her hand, Kathryn gladly let him take it, comforted by the physical connection between them again.

They sat for a moment is comfortable silence, both drinks now cold and forgotten. “Do you want to go back to one of those sessions with Bleniot again?” Chakotay asked, addressing the one subject that Kathryn had been avoiding since they returned to her apartment.

“Do we have to? I mean you just said that things between us are good now, do we really want to go back and rake all of that back up again?” Kathryn asked, laying her head back on the top of the sofa.

“We didn’t exactly find out what it is that he is after from us and the crew.” Chakotay said, avoiding the actual contents of the sessions. He still wanted some answers from Kathryn, especially how and why their relationship had changed in the last few years in the Delta Quadrant. She had become distant, harsh and her erratic behaviour had become more frequent. He knew that it was partially his fault as well as the other issues they had faced together.

“True.” She fell silent again, Chakotay knew she was going over her options in her head and allowed her the time. “OK, we can do one more session, but I want to get to the bottom of what he wants, or what whoever he is working for wants to know by the end of it.”

“Sounds like a Janeway mission to me” Chakotay smiled, “So, dinner. I know we have skipped lunch, and knowing you I doubt you have eaten since last night.” He gave a quick glance at Kathryn and knew he was right by the roll of her eyes.

“Are you ever going to stop nagging me to eat?”

“Now we are home and don’t have to keep our replicator on rations, or face Neelix and his Leeola root surprise or Chell’s Red Alert Chilli a try then yes I am” He smirked, “So what do you fancy?” He said as he moved over to the replicator, now used to being in Kathryn’s apartment more than his own. She smiled watching him, realising that he was just as happy here as he was in her quarters on _Voyager_ , something that she had never realised until that moment.

 _Maybe it was one of the things that was missing from the last few months, maybe that’s why I was so depressed and alone_ she thought.


	16. Report

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick chapter.

“Report”

“The Voyager crew continue to remain protective Admiral” Bleniot replied

“Explain”

“At first many of them were happy to speak to me regarding their impressions of the relationship between Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, however as their sessions have continued they have stopped speaking openly and have become more guarded in their responses”

“In what way?”

“Lt. Paris was able to give me his impression of the early days of life onboard Voyager, and it quickly led to his impressions of the relationship between his Command team. He was happy to tell me about their easy flirting and good working relationship leading to a friendship in his first session; however within his second session, which his wife was involved in, they both clammed up about their impressions of them. In fact, Lt. Torres became hostile and left the session after I asked a few simple questions.”

“Do you believe that this is simply because she is an ex-Maquis?”

“No. I spoke to Seven of Nine via subspace, as she is currently on Jupiter station, and she terminated the call after the mere mention of a possibility of a romantic relationship between the Captain and Commander.”

“Obviously you hadn’t read as far in to their files at I thought you had?” the Admiral said, head in hands.

“Admiral?”

“Seven of Nine and Commander Chakotay were involved, romantically, and briefly.”

“No I hadn’t read the recent amendments as I was focusing on the early days on Voyager’s journey in the first sessions.”

“See that you read the remaining files... and make sure you read them completely.”

“Yes, Admiral. If I can speak freely?”

The Admiral waved for Bleniot to continue.

“What is it that you actually want me to find out about the relationship between the Captain and Commander? From what I can gather from the crew there is nothing more there than a deep friendship... perhaps with a bit of an attraction between them, certainly at the start but now there seems only to be friendship.”

“That is classified Councillor.” With that the Admiral closed the comm. Bleniot sat back at his desk, his mission no clearer than it had been when he was first assigned it, and he still had no real idea of how he was going to get the Admiral the information that they wanted, whatever it was.


	17. The EMH makes a call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor gets a call and makes a call

“Please state the nature of the medical emergency” The Doctors smiling holographic face filled the screen.

“I see your sense of humour subroutines are functioning correctly Doctor.” Bleniot replied, “It is good to speak to someone who isn’t worried about their sessions with me”

“Worried, why would I be worried?” The EMH’s cheery expression quickly replaced by one of concern.

“You shouldn’t be Doctor, it was a joke.” Bleniot cleared his throat, trying to hide his discomfort.

“Hmm, well. How can I help you Councillor. Starfleet have not asked for me to be involved in these as I am not human.”

“I know that you are not involved in these sessions, however, while I have been going over the files on the crew of _Voyager_ , I believe that you acted as a councillor for them and as a result you may have a better insight than most in to how the Delta Quadrant affected them”

“I have heard that you are particularly interested in how it affected certain people more than others” the Doctor said, crossing his arms across his chest. “What you do not realise is that, although I may have been a councillor for the crew, I am also their friend, and as such we keep in touch.”

Bleniot blushed slightly; he knew that the crew still spoke, he just hadn’t been aware that it was to this extent. “I assure you that there is nothing I will ask you that I have not already discussed with other members of the crew.”

“Very well.”

“What do you remember from your first day in the Delta Quadrant?”

“I am a hologram, I remember everything in my memory files.” The Doctor quipped. “Well when I was first activated we had just been thrown in to the Delta Quadrant, the medical staff were dead, many of the crew injured and _Voyager’s_ systems were heavily damaged.”

“What did you see of the crew, particularly in their interactions with each other?”

“If you are referring to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, I didn’t. In fact the Maquis hadn’t joined the _Voyager_ crew at that point. I didn’t meet Captain Janeway for several days after being activated.”

“Why was that? She was injured by the Caretaker.”

“The whole crew was transported by the Caretaker on to his array shortly after our arrival in the Delta Quadrant. I was left active for those days that the entire crew. In fact it was rather boring.”

“Understandable. I believe that you were given autonomy over your program not long after.”

“I was. Councillor, as much as I enjoy talking about my time on the _Voyager_ crew, what is it that you want to ask me about Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay?” The EMH got to the point in his usual blunt style.

“I want to get a better understanding of the relationship between them” Bleniot replied, he wasn’t completely lying, but he wasn’t telling the complete truth either.

“Well, from what I saw they had a good working relationship. The ship ran well, when we weren’t constantly under attack. Or are you referring to their personal friendship?” Again he crossed his arms; he didn’t want to speak out of turn about his Commanding officers, or his friends.

“You bought up their personal relationship. What are your impressions on that?”

“They had, and continue to have a strong friendship. One that I believe enabled them to get the crew home with as few casualties as they did, and I believe it is also what enabled Captain Janeway to be as strong a leader out there as she is.”

“Do you believe that Captain Janeway would have crumbled without Commander Chakotay?”

“Not at all, however she is a very driven and focused person and that sometimes came at the detriment to her own health and wellbeing. She worked absurdly long hours for 7 years, and had to keep the majority of the crew at arm’s length because of her rank, due to the friendship that she had with Commander Chakotay he was able to share some of that burden and also he usually ensured that she took care of herself.”

“So their friendship was a support system for her, what about him? What did he get out of it?”

“They supported each other. Every member of the crew had troubles at some point in our journey out there. You have to understand that for a long time we all thought we would be spending the majority, if not all, of our lives out there, trying to get back to Earth. It was certainly difficult for the crew at the beginning, and the first few times that the prospect of getting home was torn away or failed, but over time many of the crew began to think of _Voyager_ as their home, and the crew started to support each other through life out there.”

“Do you think that there was anything more between them other than friendship?”

“No. They are close friends. Whenever one of them was injured in my Sickbay the other would always be there when they woke up, or as quickly as they could be, they would always check in regularly with me on the progress of whichever one was the patient. However, the Captain would always come and visit a member of the crew when they were injured on an away mission or had been seriously injured in an attack.” The EMH elaborated. “We are a small crew, and every person was needed.”

“So you saw nothing that would lead you to believe that there was anything else between them other than friendship?”

“I did not, and I do not like the way you are implying that there was. Why are you so interested in them?”

“I am sorry Doctor; I am not at liberty to say.” Bleniot leaned forward, he knew that the Doctor was losing his patience with him and was likely to close the comm. soon; Seven of Nine had been the same way and had likely told him about their session.

“Then I am afraid I am not at liberty to discuss my Commanding Officers and friends with you further, unless I am ordered to by someone with a few more pips on their collar, Councillor.” The EMH shook his head and closed the comm. channel. He sat at the desk on Jupiter station smiling to himself, Tom Paris and Kathryn Janeway had rubbed off on him, comments about ‘Torpedo tubes’ came to mind from his Captain. The thought made him turn the console on again and enter the address for his former leader.

“Doctor, this is an unexpected surprise” Kathryn Janeway exclaimed.

“I’m sorry if I am interrupting something Captain; I have just been speaking to Councillor Bleniot and thought you should know about it.” The EMH said, his face was full of concern.

“You weren’t interrupting anything Doctor, the Commander and I were just finishing some dinner. Is this something that he needs to know as well?” Janeway asked

“Yes I believe so.”

“Hold on Doctor, let me transfer the comm. to the lounge and we can talk about this together.” The screen briefly returned to the Starfleet insignia before shifting to a view of the Captain and Commander sitting on her sofa in her living space. A glass of wine sat, half drunk, on either side of the screen.

“I apologise for disturbing your evening, however I believe that there is something else going on concerning the sessions with Councillor Bleniot that the Senior staff, including yourselves, have been undertaking.”

“We have come to the same conclusion Doctor” Chakotay said, “B’Elanna, Tom and Harry have also said the same thing to me and to Kathryn.”

“Tuvok too” Kathryn said.

“Seven of Nine mentioned something to me when Councillor Bleniot wanted to speak to me. I am surprised that she has not been in contact with either of you.”

Chakotay shuffled uncomfortably on the sofa, Kathryn looked away from the screen, they both knew that the Doctor had feelings for the ex-drone; he was obviously unaware of the short lived romance with Chakotay.

“She and I were...involved, briefly; perhaps she felt she couldn’t speak to me about her concerns. I don’t know why she didn’t contact Kathryn though.”

If the Doctor had been installed with the correct subroutines his face would have paled. He had not known that Seven and Chakotay had been involved, even if it was only brief. Thinking back over her sudden request to join him on Jupiter Station now made sense; she had wanted to escape the situation with Chakotay, and his obvious attachment to the Captain.

“I don’t know but for whatever reason she hasn’t. Anyway Doctor, what did Bleniot want to speak to you about?” Janeway asked, her Captain’s mask slipping seamlessly in to place.

“He asked me about your relationship to each other, and if I believed if there was anything more to it than the friendship that it appears to be.”

Both the Command team paled momentarily. Kathryn recovered faster than Chakotay, her Command training being able to kick in at a moment’s notice; a skill that the Doctor had observed several times over their time in the Delta Quadrant. “What did you tell him Doctor?” Janeway asked her voice stronger than she was currently feeling.

“I simply told him the truth. That there was nothing that I saw between you that would indicate anything further was occurring other than the close friendship that you have now.”

“Did you tell him anything else?” Chakotay asked. He wanted to reach across the gap between them and grasp Kathryn’s hand, but he also knew that if he did that neither of them would be able to cover their emotions with their Command masks, and right now one of them, Kathryn at the moment, needed to remain in control.

“I simply told him that you and the Captain would always try to be there when the other was injured in Sickbay, checking up often when you were busy running the ship. However I also told him that this was no different than for any other member of the crew who had been injured in a battle or on an away mission. You would both check on their progress or visit them at least once during their recovery.”

Kathryn knew the EMH a little better than Chakotay did, and she knew he was holding something back. “Doctor...” She said in a low commanding tone, one that she had used often with him when he wasn’t getting to the point fast enough.

The Hologram sighed, “I also told him that without Commander Chakotay’s friendship I don’t think that _Voyager_ would have fared so well in the Delta Quadrant. That he was a support for you, Captain that his friendship meant that you were able to take care of yourself when you would have otherwise neglected your own health for the sake of caring for your crew or for the mission of getting them home.” He was frank and to the point, he didn’t want to lie to the Captain and he felt that both she and Chakotay knew that was the truth.

Kathryn smiled softly, her mask slipping away. The affection that she felt for the EMH and her First Officer clearly showing in her eyes, they had both taken care of her, one way or another, during their time in the Delta Quadrant.

“Was there anything else Doctor?” Chakotay asked.

“Only that when I pressed him as to why he wanted to know about the relationship between you both, he simply said that he was not at liberty to tell me, which would indicate to me that he is under orders to find something out from someone higher up”, the Doctor stated.

“Yes, that’s the impression we have gotten as well. Should he contact you again...?” Kathryn said, her voice growing stronger with each word.

“I told him that should he wish to speak to me again about the 2 of you, then it had better be someone who had more pips on his collar”

Kathryn threw her head back and laughed, “You have been listening to me far too much Doctor.” She said between laughter. Chakotay grinned next to her, having heard some of her expressions before.

“My thoughts exactly Captain, but I am glad for that. I am sorry; I have to return to Dr Zimmerman, he is proving to be a more challenging patient than a certain Captain I have the fortune to know.” He smiled at the Command team.

“Thank you Doctor, for letting us know what was said, and tell Seven we said hello.” Kathryn said, touched by the familiarity that the Doctor was now showing. He simply nodded and closed the channel.

Kathryn turned to face Chakotay, her knees brushing against his leg as her body twisted. She settled back in to the sofa and rested her head against her knuckles, sighing as she did so.

“You’re troubled again... This business with the Councillor is nothing more than a fishing expedition, right?” Chakotay asked, turning towards Kathryn and placing a hand on her knee touching his.

“I don’t know. If this has come from higher up the chain then we could have a bigger problem. It could be that they have decided you and I have had a romantic relationship all along and then it leads to what did I tell you, an ex-Maquis, within the confines of that relationship. Or they deem that our friendship is too close and I could have told you more than I should have anyway. Oh Chakotay, if I had known this was going to be a problem when we got home, no matter how far away I pushed you, I would have said to hell with the protocols and parameters”

“Kathryn...”

“I pushed you away, pushed how I felt away, giving you only friendship, to stop this from happening when we got home, but now it is happening anyway.” She sighed again.

“If I had known that... I wouldn’t have let you push me away, or your feelings.” Chakotay said, his thumb rubbing back and forth over her knee, “How about we get whatever this is sorted, come out of it without either of us being in any trouble, then you let me take you on a proper date?” He asked, smiling at her.

Kathryn looked back at him, his eyes shining with love and hope that she hadn’t seen for so long, “OK, you’re on”


	18. Uncovered?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn and Chakotay face Bleniot again

Bleniot had prepared this time, he had read and re-read the files on both Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay, including their service history from before _Voyager_. He didn’t want another grilling by the Admiral like last time.

Captain Janeway was who he was going to focus on today, although they were coming in together, she seemed the more guarded of the 2 and he wanted to get under her skin. He figured if he could do that she would eventually crack and tell him everything he suspected the Admiral wanted to know, then he would be done and be free to continue with his normal day to day as their Aid rather than all this play acting as a Councillor.

The Command team’s appointment was scheduled to start in 2 minutes, but he had decided that he would keep them waiting for 5 minutes, knowing that Captain Janeway was a stickler for time keeping; it had been a consistent note in her file that her time keeping was impeccable, probably because of her father being an Admiral.

2 minutes late for the appointment and Bleniot stood from his chair and collected his PADDs, ready to make notes during their session, although it wasn’t necessary as the room was bugged with recording devices anyway, and all the conversations that he had had with the _Voyager_ crew were automatically uploaded to the Admiral’s personal console at the end of every day. Whatever it was that the Admiral wanted to know, none of the _Voyager_ Senior staff had given it.

At 5 minutes late, Bleniot stepped out of his office in to the corridor to see Captain Janeway sat in one of the chairs, legs crossed, tapping her fingers on her knee, looking less than impressed with him. Commander Chakotay however was stood looking out of the window, calmly waiting and seemingly relaxed.

“Apologies for running a little late, Captain, Commander.” When he didn’t offer any further explanation Janeway glared at him. He suspected that this particular look would have levelled any Ensign, it certainly made him feel less confident in himself, but he was determined to keep a calm facade up in front of her. Chakotay turned from the window and walked across to his Captain, offering her his arm as she stood. She took it with an ease that told Bleniot that this was nothing unusual for them to do, in fact it was almost second nature to them now. He stepped back and allowed the Command team to enter his office space.

Kathryn and Chakotay sat on the sofa, in the same positions that they had before, keeping a professional distance from each other, but slightly turned towards the other. Their body language speaking volumes between them, even as silence filled the room.

“Thank you for agreeing to see me again, and agreeing to a second joint session. I believe the last one ended far too abruptly and I would like to explore the reasons behind that further as this session progresses. However, I would like to be by focusing on key points within your time in the Delta Quadrant, if that is acceptable to you both.” When both Janeway and Chakotay nodded, Bleniot let out a small sigh of relief that he hadn’t realised he had been holding. He had been expecting Janeway, in particular, to be much more stubborn and closed off.

“I would like to start with the crew being stranded on Hannon IV, according to the official logs, this was when the Kazon, led by your former crew member, Seska, took control of _Voyager_ and left your entire crew stranded on a desert planet, and the only reason that you got it back was through Lt. Paris going back, alone, and making contact with a local Talaxian mining colony.”

“You seem rather well informed on the incident, and you have read the logs, what more do you think we can tell you?” Kathryn asked, bristling. She did not like to have her failures bought up, and she considered this to be one of the worst ones, especially during those early days. Chakotay and she had only been back onboard for a week or 2 before Seska had enacted her little plan. She had felt responsible for it, after all, if the crew hadn’t come back to New Earth for them, they would have been well out of Kazon space and the whole incident would never had had a chance to happen.

“I would like you to tell me about it from your point of view, Captain. You and Commander Chakotay had not long been back onboard, is that correct?”

“Yes, we had been back onboard _Voyager_ for about 2 weeks.” She glanced at Chakotay, her eyes pleading for him to stay quiet about the more personal reasons that they had fallen in to the trap, he gave a small, almost unperceivable nod, and relief washed over her. “After being away for so long, there were more reports and we were both still adjusting to being back in Command, and getting over the treatment that the Doctor had given us. So obviously it was devastating that we fell in to Seska’s trap and ultimately lost _Voyager,_ although it was only temporarily.”

“How did Seska lure you to fall in to this trap?”

“It’s not important now” Chakotay chimed in, his loyalty to Kathryn showing, but he wasn’t about to allow Bleniot to imply deeper things than were really there.

“She used her personal knowledge of the crew, manipulated us.” Kathryn said, laying a hand on Chakotay’s knee, a physical contact to steady him. “And considering she is dead then I see no reason to explain what information she used.”

“Understood, needless to say, their trap worked and you lost _Voyager._ How did you feel about losing your ship Captain?”

“If it had happened in the Alpha Quadrant, hell even the Beta Quadrant, there would have been some hope of rescue, of getting the ship back. Then we didn’t even know if Tom had managed to make contact with the Talaxian’s, or where _Voyager_ even was, let alone being able to contact them or anyone else for help. So how do you think I _felt_ ” Kathryn said, her temper just about being controlled by her Command training.

“Do you think that your personal relationship with Commander Chakotay played a part in falling in to Seska’s trap?”

Kathryn looked at Chakotay again, she knew that her feelings for him had clouded her judgement, clouded how she had approached the planning. She had asked him what he wanted to do, at the time they had thought that his child was in danger, as it turned out, the child wasn’t his, a fact that the Doctor had informed him of as soon as they returned to find Seska dead in her Ready Room. “Perhaps, a little, but then my personal relationships with any of the crew would have played a part in my decision.” If she was honest with herself, she wouldn’t have so readily followed the Kazon agent on _Voyager_ had it been anyone else, but she still would have followed them, but she would have had a stronger backup plan in place. She had underestimated Seska, and her own feelings towards the situation.

“Commander, do you believe that your personal feelings played a role in the choices you made?”

Chakotay kept his eyes on Kathryn’s face; she could clearly see the hurt and guilt playing across his eyes. He had held himself responsible for what had happened. If he hadn’t allowed himself to be manipulated by Seska then she would have held no power over him, and ultimately over the Captain and _Voyager_. They had discussed it all, one evening, over dinner, not long after they had got the ship back. He had laid his heart out to Kathryn, telling her how he had felt about having a child thrust upon him that he didn’t have any part in creating, then once he had accepted that child, to have him cruelly used by his mother to manipulate those closest to his father, leading to the child being stolen away on his ship, only to then discover that the whole thing had been a lie. Chakotay had felt used and humiliated again by Seska. Kathryn had comforted him, allowed him to get it all out before the anger consumed him.

“Of course they did, but Captain Janeway and the other Senior staff members kept me in check, they made me a part of the planning and preparation, but any of the bigger decisions were taken out of my hands, and quite rightly so. I was in no fit state to objectively make decisions.” Chakotay admitted. He smiled when he felt Kathryn’s hand tighten slightly on his knee, letting him know that she was there and supported him still, like she had then.

“What was it like for you both, being stranded on another planet, so soon after New Earth?”

They both turned to look at Bleniot, Kathryn was the first to answer, “It was difficult but this time, I had the rest of the crew to think about, one of which was a young baby, Naomi Wildman, I had to ensure their survival and make sure that their spirits were kept up.”

Chakotay nodded, “Exactly, this time, we knew it wasn’t going to be for the rest of our lives, well we certainly hoped not. We had to believe that Tom Paris had made it through the fighting and had made contact with the Talaxian’s, that they, together, would somehow get _Voyager_ back and return to collect the crew.” He smiled, “And our hope paid off, we were only stranded for a few days before _Voyager_ came through the clouds.”

Kathryn smiled too, remembering her relief as the hull of her ship had broken through the clouds, her Senior staff standing beside her.

“Did your personal relationship allow you to survive on Hannon IV?”

“Well, yes, but it also allowed our professional relationship to remain strong, even under the most trying of times.” Kathryn said; she was curious as to what it was Bleniot was trying to get at.

“OK, let’s move on a little, the alliance that you made with the Borg in order to cross their space.”

Kathryn and Chakotay both paled. Up until that point their working and personal relationships had remained strong, but the alliance with the Borg had almost cost them both. It had taken a few months for their personal friendship to get back on track after Chakotay had gone against Kathryn’s orders. Their working relationship had been rocky for a while too, but they had both managed to work past it for the good of the ship.

“What about it?” Kathryn asked, straightening up, her training kicking in. Chakotay noticed that she removed her hand and had created a little more distance between them. She was clearly uncomfortable with it being bought up.

“Well, Commander Chakotay went against your wishes, he blew the Borg, except Seven of Nine, out of the cargo bay, effectively voiding the alliance that you had made with the Borg queen.”

She sighed, and closed her eyes. Chakotay knew that she was rolling them, he had seen the expression many times when dealing with difficult aliens or Tom’s latest antics had gone wrong. “Your point Councillor?” Kathryn said opening her eyes.

“How did that affect your relationship with each other, it can’t have been easy, your closest friend going against your orders, not only as your First Officer but on a more personal level.”

Kathryn thought for a moment, although they had discussed it at the time, it was still painful going over the old wounds. “I think that at the time I just counted on our friendship, and that Chakotay would just go along with what I wanted because of it. I was so focused on what I was trying to do with the Borg that I didn’t think any further than that.”

“Did you believe in what Captain Janeway was doing Commander?”

“At the time, no, I wanted to turn around and find a planet to settle on until the Borg and Species 8472 had fought it out, maybe even stay there permanently, but that wasn’t an option Captain Janeway even considered. She was determined to get the crew home to Earth.” Chakotay rubbed his ear, uncomfortable. “We fought about it, but once the Captain’s mind was set I went along with her orders, but when she was injured and I had to take command of _Voyager_ , I used my judgement and it went against everything that Kathryn had been working towards with the Borg alliance. Even though Tuvok at the time warned me that what I was doing was against the Captain’s direct orders, I still went with my gut instinct.” He turned to look at Kathryn, she was watching him intently. “Looking back at it now, we didn’t really have any other option than the alliance with the Borg, Species 8472 were determined on ‘cleansing’ our universe and if the Borg hadn’t stopped them then it is very likely we would be facing a bigger threat now than ever before. I just wish that I had seen it then, instead it was one of the few occasions that Kathryn and I turned our backs on each other, and it almost lead to disaster.”

Kathryn smiled at him, recognising her words from the time. They had turned away from each other; they had stopped trusting each other and each other’s judgement on the situation. It was the first of only 2 times during their journey together that their friendship had broken down, and both times had led to a situation going from bad to worse, or Kathryn losing herself. Chakotay saw the memories cross Kathryn’s blue eyes, and the worry that the second time that it happened was going to be bought up too; he gave her a reassuring smile and placed his hand over hers in her lap, silently supporting her. Bleniot noticed the touch but not the silent conversation going on between them in their simple looks at each other.

_‘Don’t let him get under your skin Kathryn’_

_‘We sorted this at the time, why bring it up now’_

_‘We got through it then, and it can’t be worse’_

_‘I nearly lost you then, I can’t do that again”_

Chakotay smiled at her again, this time Kathryn returned it with her trademark lopsided grin, placing her free hand over his in her lap. They were supporting each other, same as they had on _Voyager_ , they were closing ranks.

Kathryn turned her attention back to the other man in the room. Clearing her throat she asked “What else do you want to talk about Councillor?”

“How did your relationship change after Borg space, you lost a crew member and gained a crew member in a very short space of time?” Bleniot said, referring to Kes leaving the ship, throwing _Voyager_ clear of Borg space at the same time, and Seven of Nine joining their crew, somewhat reluctantly at first.

“What are you trying to find out from us?” Chakotay said, sighing, he was starting to get frustrated with Bleniot raking up the past and old wounds being reopened.

“I am simply trying to gage how your relationship worked out in the Delta Quadrant, how it changed and evolved.” Bleniot replied, it wasn’t a direct lie as he knew he was looking in to the relationship between Captain Janeway and Chakotay, but he wasn’t sure why or what exactly the Admiral was after.

Neither Chakotay nor Kathryn believed him, years of being cautious when meeting new alien species had taught them to read between the lines and see the true motives. “Who wants to know about us?” Kathryn asked, bluntly.

Bleniot’s eyes widened in surprise, “I am not sure what you mean Captain.”

Kathryn smiled, it was one that Chakotay recognised from the Delta Quadrant, when she knew some alien was lying to her and she had them on a hook. She leaned forward and kept her voice low and even, “You know exactly what I mean, Mr. Bleniot. You aren’t a councillor, and even if you are you’re not high enough up the chain to be able to speak to any of the _Voyager_ crew, let alone the Senior staff, when there are far more qualified and experienced personnel available. Who are you working for really?”

Bleniot visibly blanched at her tone. His skin felt hot and suddenly tight, how had Janeway figured him out? He had been so careful; the Admiral would have him thrown in the Brig for this. He swallowed.

“I believe _Captain_ Janeway asked you a question.” Chakotay growled.

“I am... not at... at liberty to tell you, Captain... I’m sorry.” Bleniot stammered out

Kathryn smiled again and straightened in her chair, his answer had told her everything she needed to know. “So your orders are coming from an Admiral then. If it were someone lower you would tell me, and as you seem troubled by the fact you’re ‘not at liberty’ to tell me I am guessing it is one of the higher up Admirals, someone who has a reputation within Starfleet.” She raised an eyebrow that would have rivalled Tuvok’s, “Am I right?”

Bleniot simply nodded. He had heard that Captain Janeway was a talented diplomat and negotiator, she would have to be in order to have survived in the Delta Quadrant and to have made more First Contact’s than even Captain Kirk all those years ago. Now Bleniot could see why she was so good, she could read people as easily as she could read a report.

“So what does this Admiral want to know? If Chakotay and I had a romantic relationship onboard?” She watched Bleniot for any signs that she was right, “No, that would be expected, we were expecting to spend the rest of our lives out there and possibly even become a generational ship, so a romantic relationship wouldn’t be an issue... Is it that Chakotay is former Maquis, even worse for Starfleet a former Commander within the Organisation?” Again she paused and watched him, she saw him twitch slightly and knew she was on the right track, “Could it be then that Starfleet are concerned what I told him about confidential Starfleet information, seeing as he was still considered Maquis here in the Alpha Quadrant, a traitor, a rebel?” Bleniot twitched again. Kathryn was getting closer and the closer she got the more she could feel Chakotay tensing up next to her. “They are concerned that any information that I shared with him within our friendship will come back and be used against the Federation if he returned to the Maquis... Well, the Admiral can sleep well, in case they didn’t know the Maquis is over, they are either imprisoned by Starfleet or they were wiped out by the Cardassians.” At her last words she felt Chakotay pull back, he had come to terms with what had happened to his Maquis friends when he received the letter from Sveta when they first made contact with Starfleet again, but hearing Kathryn say those words had torn the wound open again.

“I think we can leave now. If your Admiral wants to speak to me about my friendship, relationship, professional or personal, then they know where to contact me.” Kathryn said as she stood. Chakotay sat dazed for a moment, hurt by the words from Kathryn but shocked that, despite all of Starfleet’s promises that the Maquis members of the crew would be respected and allowed to keep their commissions that Kathryn had given them, there was still this level of personal distrust against him and his crew. Seeing Kathryn move towards the door Chakotay stood and turned to the man in the chair watching them, “Any questions about my relationships with any Starfleet crew can be directed to me also, no more of this secretive questioning.” With that he followed his Captain and friend out the door in to the sunlight.


	19. Discovery

“What now?” Chakotay asked, falling in to step with Kathryn.

“We get to the bottom of this. I am fed up of being made to feel guilty that you and I are best friends.” Kathryn barked, striding confidently towards Starfleet Headquarters. “And being the hero of the hour has some clout behind it at the moment with the Admirals, but there is only 1 that I trust right now.”

Chakotay followed her silently as she navigated her way around the maze of corridors, each one looked the same but the distance between the doors grew the higher up they went. Chakotay guessed that it meant the offices and conference rooms were getting larger, he also suspected that it wouldn’t be long before Kathryn was calling one of those offices home. Lost in his thoughts he almost walked in to her when she stopped at the door she had been looking for. She pressed the chime and entered in to the waiting room to find a young Bajoran woman sitting at a small desk, sorting through a stack of PADDs.

“Is the Admiral available?” Kathryn asked without introducing herself or Chakotay. The star struck look in the woman’s eyes told him that she hadn’t needed to.

“Of course Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay. I will just inform him you are here.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Kathryn said, pushing her way through the heavy wooden doors leading to the Admiral’s inner officer. Chakotay shot the woman a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders before following Kathryn.

“Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay! What a pleasant surprise!” Exclaimed Admiral Owen Paris, Tom’s father and Kathryn’s mentor since her time on the Al Burtani.

“Owen, it’s good to see you” Kathryn greeted him warmly, “How is that beautiful granddaughter of yours?” She asked, Miral had been born as Voyager was battling the Borg and returning home to Earth.

“She is wonderful, and I get to watch her grow up thanks to the pair of you.” Owen gushed. He had always had a difficult relationship with his son, but having the chance to get to know not only him again but also his wife and granddaughter after believing Tom dead for several years, was something he would always feel indebted to Janeway for.

“What can I do for you Katie?” He asked, switching to the shortened version of Kathryn’s name that he always used with her on non-Starfleet business.

“I’m sorry Owen, it’s not actually a personal call as such, but you are the only person I know we can trust to come to with this.”

The older man looked troubled but indicated to the small seating area near the windows, as they all sat he ordered coffee from his aide and waited for Kathryn to settle with a coffee before beginning, knowing her addiction to the stuff he knew she wasn’t going to answer him without at least a mouthful.

“Owen, are you aware of a Councillor Bleniot on staff here?” Kathryn asked

The Admiral thought for a moment before shaking his head, “No, I don’t believe I have had the pleasure. Isn’t that the councillor that your staff were assigned, I think I have heard his name in passing from Tom and B’Elanna.”

Kathryn nodded, sipping her coffee again. “I have reason to believe that he is not actually a Councillor at all.” She said it simply, like a statement rather than a question.

“What makes you think that Katie? I know you are usually one to follow your gut with things like this, but it is a serious thing to accuse a person of, effectively impersonating a Starfleet Officer.” Owen said, clasping his hands together over his stomach, ignoring the coffee in front of him.

“He pretty much told us so a few minutes ago in our latest session” Chakotay answered for Kathryn, supporting her in his usual way. If she was wrong about this then so was he.

“He has been asking some rather strange questions of both me and Chakotay, as well as the rest of our Senior staff, including Tom and B’Elanna.” Kathryn continued, “Most specifically about the relationship between Chakotay and me”

“I wasn’t aware there was a relationship between you, and believe me that is something Tom would have told me about.” Owen chuckled as Kathryn and Chakotay shared a smile, they were all well aware of the younger Paris’ tendency to gossip.

“Well, no there isn’t, nothing beyond the deep friendship that we have shared for the past 7 years.” Kathryn glanced at Chakotay, remembering their deal the night before; he owed her a proper date once this was sorted.

Chakotay reached for his coffee, and busied himself adding the milk and 2 sugars that he took with it, not wanting Kathryn to see the hurt and desire mixed in his eyes. He knew that their friendship had meant a lot to Kathryn but to hear her say that there was nothing going on between them, however buried it had to be, still stung.

Kathryn for her part had seen the briefest flicker of hurt cross her First Officer’s face, and felt an equal ache in her chest. She filed it away in her mind to speak to him about later on when they were alone, she didn’t want any more misunderstandings to come between them now that they were home.

“What kind of questions Katie?” Owen asked, his face creased in concern for his former protégée.

Kathryn cleared her throat and took her eyes away from Chakotay’s face. “He has been asking what kind of relationship we had, how it affected the crew, could the tell if we had a fight, what did it feel like when he went against my orders and wishes in certain instances, did we cross ‘that’ line. Things of that nature.”

“He wants to basically know if I used her and our friendship to gain confidential information from her about Starfleet so I could give it to the Maquis when we got home.” Chakotay spat out.

Kathryn placed her now empty coffee cup on the table in front of them and rested a hand on his arm, “Oh, Chakotay, I know you would never do that, it’s not the type of man you are, anyone can see that.” She said softly, trying to comfort him as he was obviously battling some anger about the whole situation that she hadn’t realised.

“Clearly someone up here does.” He said, a hand coming to cover Kathryn’s on his arm.

“Why?” Owen asked, “All the Maquis members of your crew have been offered their commissions within Starfleet, and many of them, including Commander Chakotay, have taken them. Why would it matter now?”

“Because they probably think I left Starfleet once, why wouldn’t I do it again?” Chakotay growled.

“You had your reasons for joining the Maquis, hell given our history with the Cardassians I am surprised that neither of us did.” Kathryn said, nodding to Owen at the mention of their capture and torture by the Maquis’ enemy.

They all shared a moment of silence, living over past trauma that led them to the choices they had all made. Chakotay had joined the Maquis out of the need to get justice for his family that had been killed by them, Kathryn and Owen remembered the torture that they had received at the hands of Cardassian military. Kathryn was sure if it hadn’t been out of a sense of duty to her father’s legacy she would have sort revenge and joined the Maquis herself.

“What exactly would you like me to do Katie?” Owen asked after a while, “You wouldn’t have bought this to me without needing a favour.”

Kathryn smiled, her trade mark lopsided grin, Chakotay felt an ache in his chest, it was one he thought that she only reserved for him but that quickly faded when he remembered that the Admiral had been a friend and mentor for a long time. “You know me too well Sir. I would like to know who Bleniot is working for and what exactly they want to know.” She leaned forward and picked up her coffee that was cooling on the table in front of her. “I am almost certain that if I or any of my crew asked questions then we would get nowhere, but maybe you asking them and being able to pull rank a bit you might get somewhere.” She grinned again and drank some of her coffee watching Owens’ face for any signs that he was going to say no.

“Young lady, if anyone else had asked me to do that they would already be out of this office.” He said after a moment, “However, I know you don’t ask me lightly, so I will do some digging for you.” He smiled at her and Chakotay, “I am assuming my son and daughter-in-law know about your suspicions?”

Kathryn nodded, “Actually they were the ones that alerted us to it all.” Chakotay said as he looked back at Kathryn giving her a look she had seen many times over the years on the Bridge; you’re not alone in this.

“Alright, I will speak to them as well, once I have found something they will contact you.” Owen said, his meaning to Kathryn was clear. I want to keep my name out of this but I will do it. Kathryn smiled again and stood.

“Thank you Owen, I know this is an uncomfortable position to put you in, and I am sorry for that. If there was any other way...”

“No Katie, its fine. After all, I figure after everything you have done for Tom, I owe you a few ‘uncomfortable’ favours” Owen replied, his eyes warm as he watched the woman he had seen grow from a nervous young Ensign in to the confident Captain who had bought not only her ship back in one piece but had also given him another chance with his son.

“Thank you Sir, I hope not to be calling them in anymore after this.” Kathryn smiled, moving to shake the Admiral’s hand but being surprised at being pulled in to an embrace by the older man. She happily returned it before straightening and turning her attention back to Chakotay. “Well Commander, I believe we had lunch plans before I set out of this mission” She smiled at him again. They didn’t have any formal plans but he was eager to spend more time with her outside of Starfleet.

“Thank you for your time Admiral, I look forward to hearing from Tom and B’Elanna as soon as you have something for us.” Chakotay said, extending his hand to shake Owens’ hand, which was returned with an ease that Chakotay hadn’t expected from the Admiral, particularly after what he had heard from Tom over the past 7 years, but time, as Chakotay knew all too well, could change a person for the better as well as the worse.

Chakotay turned to Kathryn and offered her is arm, which she clasped like she had on Voyager every time; the same warm smile lighting her face as she did so.

As they left Starfleet Headquarters Chakotay expected Kathryn to let go of him, instead she simply held him closer to her as they walked towards the shore front to the boardwalk that was lined with Restaurants’ and Cafes. 

“Do you think Owen will find anything?” Chakotay asked, breaking the silence that they had been in since they left Owens’ office.

“I’m not sure, but if anyone can find something out it is him.” She replied, “He is like an old dog with a bone, he refuses to let something go once he had sunk his teeth in to it... a bit like Tom and his damn betting pool” She quipped.

Chakotay’s eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks, pulling Kathryn back with him, “You knew about that!” he exclaimed.

“I’m the Captain, of course I knew” She replied, trying to cover the laughter threatening at his response.

“H...how?”

“I knew most things that went on, and what I didn’t know on my own, my trusty First Officer was always happy to fill me in on over a cup of coffee or dinner.” She laughed, unable to contain it any longer.

“Oh that’s the reason you invited me to dinner and plied me with coffee all the time... to pump me for information” He smirked, laughter bubbling up inside him.

“Of course” She said, deadpan. She started walking again, pulling at his arm lightly to make him walk along side her again. “And I wouldn’t say I exactly ‘pumped’ you for information Chakotay, you were always willing to share the latest gossip with me.”

“Only because I knew I would get that smile of yours” He admitted, just loud enough for her to hear him, he heard her breath catch as what he said registered with her.

She stopped again and looked at him, her eyes searching his for any sign of humour, as she did so the rest of the world around her faded in to the background, like the Bridge used to when they would be speaking in hushed tones over their centre console. You’re playing with fire here Commander.

His eyes held hers; I never say what I don’t mean Kathryn. His hand slid down her arm to find her hand, he entwined his fingers with hers, like they had years before on a planet thousands of light years and half a galaxy away.

She smiled at him as she felt his fingers wrap around hers, warm and so familiar yet somehow excitingly new. “Come on, there isn’t anything I fancy along here, and I am pretty sure we are being followed by the press... again, why don’t we get something back at my place?”

“You are the Captain” He replied, smiling at each other, they began to walk back towards the Starfleet living quarters. Still hand in hand.


	20. Uncovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B'Elanna uncovers more than the person digging in to the Command team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it had taken a while to update this, I was having a bit of writers block and couldn't decide on who was going to be digging in to our favourite Command team.

A week later, with no word from Admiral Paris, Kathryn got a comm. call from her former Chief Engineer that turned her perception of her life on its head.

“It’s Admiral Hayes.” The half Klingon stated.

Kathryn sat there, stunned, her mouth hanging open in shock. Admiral Hayes had been a friend of her father’s and had mentored her throughout her Academy days and Command training, essentially taking on a fatherly role to her... even though she had once called him a windbag to Seven, she had meant it fondly.

“Are... are you sure?” She managed to stutter after a moment.

B’Elanna nodded, her face said it all though. Owen Paris, her father-in-law had asked her to contact her former Captain as soon as he had found out, knowing that it would be hard for Kathryn to hear, and wanted her to have someone she knew well tell her.

“But why?” Kathryn asked, her mind still spinning. “It doesn’t make sense to me.”

“Owen thinks it is partially because of his relationship with you... some form of misguided fatherly protection.” B’Elanna shook her head.

“I know that look B’Elanna; I have given it to you before. You don’t believe that’s it do you.” Kathryn stated, feeling pride in how far the younger woman had come under her command. The B’Elanna that Kathryn had met 7 years ago had been an angry, hot tempered and lost young woman, thanks to Chakotay’s insistence that Kathryn get to know B’Elanna and trust her she had become a brilliant Chief Engineer earning the respect of everyone of the crew, Maquis and Starfleet alike, as well as a kind, caring and fiercely loyal friend to Kathryn personally.

“Something doesn’t ring true about it all, as Tom would say, the wool is being pulled over our eyes somewhere. I can’t believe that this is all because Admiral Hayes is being protective of you.” B’Elanna said; her eyes darting back and forth as she attempted to figure it all out in her head as she spoke.

“I think you are right.” Kathryn admitted, sighing to herself; “I will have to speak to him, alone... but I am going to have to tell Chakotay who it is that is showing such interest in our friendship.”

B’Elanna looked up and stared in to the clear blue eyes of her Captain, her smile was full of mischief. “It’s still only a friendship... come on Captain, it’s not exactly a secret how you 2 feel about each other. It hasn’t been for years!”

For the second time in as many minutes Kathryn’s mouth fell open with shock, “B’Elanna, I don’t know what you mean.” She lied.

“All of us knew those of us who saw you and him together everyday particularly. It was written all over your faces when you were together, and the looks you gave each other were as easy to read as a PADD.”

“I am sure I don’t know what you mean, we are friends, close friends, but that is to be expected after working together every day for 7 years.”

“Kathryn... who do you think you are kidding. It was clear as day that you and he love each other. All those whispered conversations on the Bridge that only Tuvok could hear clearly with his Vulcan hearing, Oh don’t worry he never told any of us anything” B’Elanna said seeing Kathryn’s face pale slightly, “You were always touching each other, holding hands, he was always your date for any crew functions, those dinners together most nights, and don’t get me even started on those heated looks between you.”

“B’Elanna, if we were still on Voyager...”

“But we aren’t and you are not officially my Captain any more, but you are my friend Kathryn, and so is he. You both deserve to be happy and put yourselves first for once. For the last 7 years you have put the lives and happiness of 147 people ahead of your own, now it’s your turn.”

Kathryn nodded and smiled at B’Elanna, “Thank you... I will think about it... after I have sorted this all out with Admiral Hayes.”

With a nod and a small smile B’Elanna signed off saying that she would update Owen, leaving Kathryn staring at her reflection in the screen as the Starfleet insignia replaced the image of her Chief Engineer. It struck Kathryn for a moment that the Starfleet insignia had been the mask she had been wearing during their time in the Delta Quadrant and B’Elanna was right, she had put every single member of her crew ahead of her, she had felt it was her duty and responsibility after she had given the order to destroy the Caretaker’s array. Now she had fulfilled her duty to them all, it was time to take off her Captain’s mask and let Kathryn live again...once this situation was sorted.

Kathryn made a promise to herself that she would allow her feelings for Chakotay, that hadn’t been as hidden as she had thought, to be admitted and she wouldn’t wait for their first ‘official’ date. 7 years of waiting had been enough ‘dating’ for her, even if they hadn’t been a ‘couple’; he was certainly her partner in every other respect.


	21. Confronted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kathryn has a word with a certain Admiral

Kathryn Janeway strode towards Starfleet Headquarters with a purpose in her step. She was a woman on a mission, as Tom would have put it. It felt good to be walking somewhere with purpose again, she hadn’t realised how much she had missed having a task to complete, an end goal.

The sun blinded her as she turned the corner nearest Headquarters, silhouetting the building in her view. She paused, it was a sight that she had once loved and feared at the same time. Her Father had worked there and she had fond memories of coming to see him at work with her Mother and Sister, then she had been accepted to the Academy and she had learned just how much went on in that building, which had struck a chord of fear within her, straightening her spine with it. Now she saw it as the enemy within. If Admiral Hayes was really behind all the investigation of her and Chakotay then there were probably more Admirals who felt the same.

Kathryn drew on all the strength that she had gained from her time in the Delta Quadrant, and some that she had probably borrowed from the supporting members of her crew, and started towards the steps that rose towards the entrance, she knew this building like the back of her hand, nodding to the security guards who were posted on the outside as the door slide open to allow her entrance, after all who was going to stop Starfleet’s latest Golden girl.

“Is the Admiral in?” Kathryn asked Hayes’ aide.

“Of course Captain Janeway, shall I let him know you are here?” The young woman asked.

“No, I think I will just surprise him. We are old friends.” Kathryn said, giving her one of the trademark Janeway smiles, which was warmly returned.

Pushing the heavy doors open Kathryn walked in. At first Admiral Hayes didn’t see her, or was too engrossed in his work to even notice that someone had entered. She cleared her throat, hoping to get his attention.

“Do you have time for a coffee with a long lost friend?” Kathryn asked, finally getting the older man’s attention.

“Kathryn! To what do I owe this surprise? I thought all of the Voyager crew were on long overdue need.”

“I was just passing, when I realised that I hadn’t really thanked you for everything that you did for us while we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant, with the Midas array and sending those 2 vessels to rendezvous with Voyager somewhere in the Beta Quadrant when we got there... I hope those ships are on their way home.” Kathryn lied, she had gotten good at hiding her true motives, Kashyk had shown her that.

“Of course, but it will have to be Headquarter coffee I am afraid.” He stood from his desk, and waved a hand towards the coffee table and sofa’s under the large bay windows of his office.

“As long as it isn’t the replicated stuff that I have been drinking for the last 7 years... mainly... then I am fine with that.” Kathryn said, as small grimace crossing her face at the memory of some of Neelix’s ‘better than Coffee’ substitutes.

“Must have been bad out there if Headquarter coffee is a step up.” He chuckled and commed his aide to bring in a fresh pot of coffee and 2 cups.

Kathryn walked towards the sofa’s and took the seat nearest the door, not wanting to be cut off at any point from the exit, this was again something she had learnt from her negotiations in the Delta Quadrant, and it had come in handy at times too.

“If you had seen some of the ‘coffee’ that Neelix served me then you would understand.” Kathryn smiled at the memory of her dear friend and Starfleet’s Ambassador in the Delta Quadrant. “I was wondering if it would be possible to arrange to speak to Neelix actually using the array... to let him know we made it back to Earth and the crew are all safe. I don’t think we would have survived the first few years without him and his knowledge.”

“I am sure we can arrange that for you and any other members of your crew who wish to speak to him. I will contact Lt. Barclay to arrange a time for you all.” Hayes agreed.

“Thank you, I will let them know. Many of them miss him and would be grateful to speak to him again. Please let Reg know that I will arrange it so that the crew come in groups for the most part, it will make his life a little easier.” Kathryn smiled again, as she poured the coffee for herself and the Admiral.

“Now Kathryn, I know you well enough to know that you weren’t simply passing. What can I do for you?” Hayes asked, he was as direct as Seven at times, and Kathryn almost regretted calling him ‘a windbag’ when they first received his messages.

Kathryn straightened her back, and decided to be as direct as she could be. “Who is it that you have working on your authority to act as a Starfleet Councillor interrogating my Senior Staff as well as myself about the friendships onboard Voyager?”

Admiral Hayes stared blankly at Kathryn, she had to hand it to him, if he was surprised that she knew it was him then he hid it well... almost too well. “I’m sorry Kathryn I don’t know who you are referring to.” He stated, placing his coffee cup back on the table before resting his elbows in his knees and leaning towards her.

“I am unsure of his real name but the name he is using with us is Bleniot.”

Hayes eyes flicked back and forth as if he was searching his memory for something, perhaps trying to place the man she was asking about. Kathryn waited, she was good at that.

“The only Bleniot I know of is an assistant aide to Admiral Piller.” Hayes said his voice full of sincerity. Kathryn knew him well enough to know that he was telling her the truth.

“Piller, as in Michael Piller? Last I heard he was a Vice Admiral; guess he got a promotion during my trek in the Delta Quadrant.” Kathryn smiled, this time it reached her eyes.

“The very same. He had a promotion at the end of the war with the Dominion... and he also got a reassignment to Section 31.”

Kathryn sat back, the pieces falling in to place. “Jack... can I ask you something else?”

Hayes smiled, not many people used his first name, and he suspected that same was true of Kathryn. “It seems to be all you want to do, but yes you can ask me anything.”

Kathryn took a breath, steadying herself, it was something that had been bothering her for a while, “When you first sent us messages in the Delta Quadrant, you asked me specifically about the ‘Maquis situation’, do you remember?” Seeing Hayes nod, she continued, “You weren’t really involved in sending Voyager out to hunt down Chakotay and his crew, so why ask? Was there someone else who was pressuring you to find out about them, beyond the reports that Starfleet already had from us that informed you all that there were no longer any differences between Starfleet and Maquis on Voyager?”

“To be honest with you Kathryn, there were so many questions being asked about Voyager, the original mission you were sent on, how you were all surviving in the Delta Quadrant... basically everything about you and your crew, that I had a list of things to ask you about as long as the rules of acquisition. There was a meeting and it was decided that the most pressing matters to discuss with you were the Maquis Crew members and how you were all fairing, considering we were getting calls from family members daily asking about their loved ones on your crew, both Starfleet and Maquis alike. So yes Kathryn, it was something that I was asked to ask you, but no I don’t remember who it was. It could have been just one person or it could have been more.” Hayes watched Kathryn take in all the information he had just given her. He knew from her reports and the way that she had spoken about and supported her crew, in its entirety, Maquis and Starfleet didn’t matter to her, they were her crew, her family over the last 7 most defining years of her career, possibly her life, and she was not about to let a threat to any of them just drop. He figured to tell her everything he knew was the best way to go, so she could arm herself with all the information she could before she went against someone in control of the most feared arm of Starfleet.

Kathryn sat for a moment. She had known that Starfleet would want to know what had happened to her original mission, to apprehend the Maquis Captain and his crew and to retrieve the Starfleet operative onboard, Tuvok. The fact that there were those who still were concerned about the Maquis after nearly 5 years lost in the Delta Quadrant, when there was a war being fought in the Alpha Quadrant, did surprise her however.

“Do you remember is Piller was one of those Admirals?” Kathryn asked, her voice barely a whisper as she continued to figure the situation out in her mind.

Hayes nodded, “Yes Captain, he was.”

Kathryn returned his nod and stood up from her seat. She had to get a meeting with Michael Piller, and she had a feeling that it would be easier than she thought given his interest in her and her crew. As she turned to leave Hayes cleared his throat to get her attention again.

“Be careful Kathryn. I know that look on your face, you are on a mission and I know you won’t take any prisoners for your crew, but Michael Piller is a confident officer and he is surrounded by Section 31, he is protected by them as you are by your crew. Please don’t do this, at least not alone.”

She smiled at him, he was warning her in the same way that her Father had. Don’t face the unknown alone Goldenbird, there is strength in the flock. Kathryn walked back towards Hayes, and places a reassuring hand on his arm. “Don’t worry Jack, I’m not alone, and I’m a Janeway. We have survived far worse than a man who wants to use people as pawns in his political game.” Removing her hand she turned again, throwing over her shoulder, “After all, I faced the Borg Queen and won... on nothing but a few cups of replicated coffee. Now I have the real stuff imagine what I can do.”


	22. Showdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it has taken me a while to update this. I couldn't decide how I wanted this to go, think I have it now so hope to update again soon.  
> FYI Michael Piller was actually one of the people that worked on Voyager, he is listed on the name plate that falls down in the Equinox episode, although I am sure he is a nice guy really and would never do this to our beloved Command team.

“I know who it is Chakotay!” Kathryn exclaimed as she walked in to his Starfleet apartment without a hello. He was used to that though, and it was something he loved to see in her, the fire when she had a plan set in motion.

“I am assuming you also know where they are and have a plan in mind... should I go to Red Alert Kathryn?” He smiled at her as she fidgeted with her comm. badge as usual. Her eyebrows rose in question and he nodded towards her badge and the twisting motion she was doing stopped.

“Damn, I thought I had that little habit under control” Her lips quirked up in a lopsided smile. She placed her hands firmly on her hips and raised an eyebrow at him, “Seeing as you know me so well I guess you know what I am going to say?”

“You want to face them, in person.” Chakotay replied his hands on his hips too, mirroring her stance. When she didn’t say anything he continued, “Then I am coming too.”

She smiled again, this time it was a full bright smile that made his heart skip every time he saw it. “I thought you would say that”

 

 

They had talked long in to the night, going over everything that Kathryn had been able to find out about the elusive Admiral Piller, which wasn’t a lot, and that in itself was odd. Most of what Kathryn had been able to find was second hand, or highly redacted reports, most of the information only available for Fleet Admirals or above, and she couldn’t ask Owen Paris or Jack Hayes to put their careers in jeopardy for her and her First Officer.

Together Kathryn and Chakotay had decided that they would face Michael Piller in his office at the end of the day, when the majority of the aides had gone for the night, and the security around Headquarters was lax, giving them the time, they hoped, to get the answers they needed.

“Are you ready Captain?” Chakotay asked, using her rank to keep her mind on the task at hand, trying to build the wall of Command around their personal relationship, trying to keep his mind on the problem rather than what he hoped would be the ending... the woman behind the Captain in his arms.

She nodded once and moved towards him, taking his hand in one of hers, placing the other on his chest over his heart, feeling it beat under her palm, “With you by my side, always.” She smiled at him again, before lightly patting his chest and moving away, letting his hand go at the same time. “Come on Commander, we should get going, don’t want to keep the Admiral waiting.”

 

 

Starfleet Headquarters was as they had expected, nearly deserted on a Friday evening. Most of the Admirals had long since left, it being a tradition that Friday’s were shorter days so that they could get some time with their families. Those that remained were termed ‘married to the fleet’, those who didn’t have families or preferred to work than be at home. Kathryn had long suspected that there were some Admirals who stayed late so that they didn’t have to go home to their wives, and those who went home only to do more work like her Father, Admiral Edward Janeway, often had.

Kathryn led the way up the steps, Chakotay to her left and half a step behind, his usual position when they walked together, silently giving his Captain the strength she needed from him, and taking his from her.

They had found when Admiral Piller’s office was located, it was separated from the rest of the Admiral’s on his floor by a large conference space that was always booked by him, and so it essentially served as his private room.

Voyager’s Command team strode down the hallway with purpose, Kathryn breezed past the Admiral’s aide without giving the young man a moment’s notice, Chakotay gave him a quick apologetic smile but didn’t pause in his stride.

They entered the Admirals office to find him sat with his head down reading a PADD. Without pausing for him to realise that he was no longer alone Kathryn addressed him, “Admiral Piller, would you mind telling me just what your interest is in my ship?” Her hands on her hips, Chakotay knew from his time with her that she was treating him the same was she treated any potentially hostile alien they came across.

The Admiral looked up, his eyes were glazed over from staring at the PADD for too long and took a moment to clear and register who was in his presence. “Ah Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, what can I do for you?” He smiled. Neither of the Command team had been able to find a recent photograph of him in their digging through the Starfleet database, so they were a little surprised at the changes in the man from the only photo they could find, which was obviously taken some time ago. The Admiral was approximately about 60 years old, the average age for a high ranking Admiral, his hair, which had been full in the photo, was not thinning and had lost any volume that it once had held, the grey hair streaking through the mousy brown gave the impression that there was less hair than he probably had. He was thinner than Kathryn had thought he would be, his cheeks drawn in, and his skin looked almost leathery from time that he had obviously spent in the sunshine without protection. Overall Kathryn thought he looked less intimidating that she had been expecting, which meant he was more dangerous than she had originally given him credit for.

She straightened and stared at the Admiral, not letting him see that she was reassessing her opinion of him. “You have been interrogating my senior staff as well as me with a fake councillor. I want to know why.”

The Admiral leaned back in his chair, setting the PADD he was reading aside. “First of all Captain, they are no longer your Senior staff. You are all on leave pending reassignment after the debriefings you have all been ordered to attend have been completed to the Admiralties satisfaction.”

Kathryn paled slightly, if Chakotay didn’t know her so well he probably wouldn’t have noticed it, or the way that her fingers dug in to her hips, the way they had when her crew were threatened by some unknown alien or local bully.

“I think that you will find Admiral, even without being in command of them any longer, they are still my crew... and more importantly they are my family, something that you clearly do not understand given your interrogation of them” She spat out.

Chakotay felt pride rush through him; this was the Kathryn Janeway he had met that first moment on Voyager’s Bridge, staring him down as he moved to end Tom Paris. She had calmly stepped between him and Tom, protecting her crew from the start. Even now they were home, meant to be safe, she was again putting herself between them and danger.

“Now now Captain, I have not interrogated your crew, in fact I have never even met your crew.” The Admiral smirked at her.

“No you have had one of your aides do it.” Chakotay said, his voice betraying the disgust that he was feeling. Kathryn took a small step towards him, silently giving him some of her strength. In his mind he imagined her hand over his heart, like she had done many times before.

“What is it that you want to know about Voyager, about the relationship between her crew members. Both the Commander and I are happy to answer your questions Admiral, as long as it is not classified information.” Kathryn said, her voice firm and her body language showing she was on the defence still, protecting what was dearest to her.

Admiral Piller leaned back in his chair, studying Voyager’s Command team, their body language with each other speaking more than their words. She had kept close to him, probably close enough to feel his body heat, but they were easy with each other, a companion built from years of working together and spending every day together for the last 7 years, both on and off duty. He had read over the reports that both Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay had written and sent back using the Pathfinder array before their sudden return to Earth. However from those he hadn’t learnt what he had wanted to know, just how close a relationship did these 2 people have? How much classified information had Janeway shared with her First Officer?

“I want to know just how close the 2 of you are.” The Admiral stated. Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other, both of them telling the other ‘Don’t mention New Earth’, Kathryn turned to face the Admiral first.

“In what way Admiral, I don’t believe that our personal friendship is anything for Starfleet to be concerned about.” Her voice was even, the Captain’s mask slipping seamlessly in to place. “We spent 7 very unique years together getting our crew home, facing species that you cannot even begin to imagine from the safety of your desk... that had obviously given us a close bond of friendship.”

“Captain I am sure you are aware of Starfleet’s view on relationships between Captain’s and their crew.” Kathryn nodded, it was the main reason that she had kept Chakotay at arm’s length, even when the woman behind the Captain was screaming at her to let him in and to give in to the feelings that she had for him.

“Of course I am aware; as I am sure you are aware of from reading my logs. I expect you have also read our personal logs too.” Kathryn’s face said that she knew he had, some of the questions that they had been asked were too specific for them to be asked otherwise. She stood with her arms crossed and her hip cocked to the side, Chakotay knew the stance well, she was on the defensive and had something up her sleeve.

“You are correct Captain; however it was easy to tell from the official reports that the 2 of you had a close bond. There are questions as to how close and how long that bond has existed.” The Admiral stated.

Chakotay risked a glance at Kathryn; her usual pale complexion had gone paler than he had seen it since the first time they were attacked by the Viidian’s. He returned his gaze to the Admiral and stepped forward, placing himself between the Admiral and Kathryn. “You suspect Captain Janeway of being a Maquis sympathiser or worse a spy for us within Starfleet?” He growled, offended on Kathryn’s behalf.

“Precisely” The Admiral smirked, “Starfleet as an organisation may no longer be concerned with the Maquis, considering the majority are either dead or in prisons spread throughout the Federation, but there are those of us who are quietly still looking for them, and seeking justice for the innocent.”

“You’re on a personal vendetta, aren’t you? Who better to take down than Starfleet’s latest prize? The Starfleet Captain and the Maquis Rebel Leader who bought their crew home earlier than anyone could have ever anticipated, not only in one piece but as one crew.” Chakotay was barely containing his anger, Kathryn could feel it rippling off him, and it mirrored her own. She placed her hand on his upper arm to steady him, support him as he had her.

“Why?” Was all she could ground out through her clenched teeth; She and Chakotay had worked tirelessly and put their lives on hold for the 7 years that it took Voyager to reach home, and it had still taken another Janeway from the future to achieve their goal.

“There are those of us who feel that the innocent lives that were affected by the war between the Maquis and the Cardassians have not been taken in to consideration by the justice system, that the Maquis got off too lightly with their sentencing, in light of the war that was being fought at the time with the Dominion; and that as a result the criminals in your crew being welcomed home as heroes, paraded around as Starfleet’s greatest achievers is rubbing salt in the wound as it were, tarnishing their memories.” The Admiral spat, “There are also some who believe that you, Captain Janeway, knew that the Caretaker would take both Voyager and the Val Jean in to the Delta Quadrant, to escape justice that was so rightly deserved”

Kathryn huffed out a laugh, barely containing her irritation. She had known that rumours of that nature had originally circulated when both ships had disappeared in the Badlands, but she wasn’t aware that there were those among the Admiralty who actually believed it to be true. Chakotay was barely able to hold his anger back, his friends in the Maquis had died for what they believed in, slaughtered by the Cardassians who were already destroying innocent people’s lives, like his family on Dorvan V, all because of some treaty that was signed when true intents were kept hidden from those in charge at best or at worse in full knowledge of the plans the Cardassians had for the outlaying colonies affected.

“Who did you lose Admiral?” Chakotay asked his tone soft. It was one that he had used when members of the crew were in need of counselling.

“What concern is that of yours Maquis?” The Admiral growled angrily, standing from his desk, leaning heavily on his arms as he spoke.

“My whole family, with the exception of my sister, Sekaya, who was off world when the colony on Dorvan V was wiped off the face of the planet; When that happened I knocked on the door of every member of Starfleet I could think of in order to get something done about it, officially. At every turn I was told ‘no’ and ‘the treaty protected the Cardassians as those were their worlds now’, so I did the only thing that my conscience could allow me to do, I joined the Maquis and to protect other innocent people in any way that I could.”

Admiral Piller had the good grace to step back, he obviously either hadn’t read Chakotay’s file that closely or he had simply forgotten it, blinded by his own agenda against the Maquis. “That may be so Commander but that still doesn’t mean that justice has been served.” Using Chakotay’s rank left a bitter taste in his mouth, the man had turned his back on Starfleet, and regardless of if he had a good reason for it or not, he had caused suffering to hundreds of others as a result.

“I still don’t understand the need for the use of Lt. Bleniot, why not just ask us directly?” Kathryn asked, sensing that the subject of the Maquis was becoming too heated and deciding that the best course of action was to change the subject back.

“I had to know if what you were telling him was true, there was no way to be sure that you and he hadn’t concocted some story to cover for your relationship already existing. The rest of your crew, especially those who you interacted with on a daily basis, would have been the best people to ascertain that information from, more likely to be forthcoming. Which they were.” Piller sneered.

Kathryn stepped forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with Chakotay. They had expected that the Admiral would try to put a thread of doubt about their friends aboard Voyager telling Bleniot about the rumours that had floated around for the first couple of years of their journey before they had eventually settled down. The back of Chakotay’s hand brushed Kathryn’s, silently keeping contact with her, as they had done before in tense situations. “You honestly think that I would put the lives of my crew in danger, pull them away from their lives here in the Alpha Quadrant, split families apart... hell I left my fiancée back here on Earth, all because I was secretly friends with Chakotay?” Kathryn said her tone even, sounding more confident than she actually was.

“That’s what I intend to find out” The Admiral said, pressing a keypad on his desk.

Behind them a pair of doors slid open and 2 guards entered the room, positioning themselves either side of Chakotay and Kathryn. They nodded to the Admiral. “Take our guests to be questioned, separately. But I want them to be able to see each other, not hear each other. I don’t want them communicating.” The Admiral ordered. Each of the guards took hold of the Command team’s arms, escorting them to the holding cells that were hidden in the large room that they had passed before entering the Admiral’s office. Some conference room Kathryn thought, suspecting Chakotay was thinking the same.


	23. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes in the typing or spelling, my laptop has died and is in being fixed so using a tablet I am not used to... please forgive me but I couldn't leave Kathryn and Chakotay like that.

Kathryn and Chakotay were bundled through the door by the 2 security officers that obviously took their orders directly from Admiral Piller, no questions asked.

Through the door lay a narrow corridor with 3 doors equally spaced apart. Chakotay was pushed through the first door as Kathryn was pushed through the second. Inside the rooms there was nothing but a chair and a clear wall. As the Admiral had ordered the guards to place them somewhere that they could see each other but not hear each other Kathryn guessed that it wasn’t a force field but a soundproof bulkhead.  _He doesn’t know that we can communicate with a look_ Kathryn thought as she was pushed in to the chair. Instantly restraints clamped down around her wrists and ankles.  _At least we are facing each other straight on._

                Chakotay had received similar treatment, although he had noticed that one of the restraints around his wrist wasn’t as tight as the other was. He flicked his eyes quickly from Kathryn’s eyes to his left restraint and back up at her again.  _I have a plan, keep them busy,_ he told her. She gave him a small smile and an almost unperceivable nod,  _got it._

“I hope you are both sitting comfortably.” Came the Admiral’s voice from the speakers around the rooms. Kathryn guessed that there was also a camera set on both of them, from where she couldn’t tell, but she took an educated guess that they would be facing them full on. She hoped that it wouldn’t see Chakotay’s fingers working on his restraint.

                “What do you want from us?” Kathryn asked the air, looking around the room as much as her position would allow it. The guards that had bought them in to their respective rooms were standing just off to the left of them, facing them;  _at least they won’t see what Chakotay is doing easily,_ Kathryn thought, noticing that Chakotay’s guard seemed less than interested in his subject than the one guarding her. She caught Chakotay’s eye again and flicked her glance to the guard and back at his wrist again, Chakotay shook his head and rolled his eyes,  _Tuvok would not have been impressed_  his look said, Kathryn swallowed the smile that threatened her lips.

                “To get to the truth Captain that is all” The Admiral answered, the sneer he was wearing on his face coming through his voice.

                “We have told you the truth!” Kathryn exclaimed, “If you choose to believe it or not that's your probl

                “That is where you are wrong Captain, right now, if I believe you or not is your problem.” With that Kathryn saw a flash of movement as the guard with Chakotay swung and hit her First Officer across his face, splitting his lip. She struggled against her restraints to try and get to him on instinct; only when she saw that he was OK did she stop. He looked at her and shook his head, one that the Admiral was probably able to see too, letting her know he was alright; the humour of it flitted across his face.  _He has probably gotten worse off the holodeck boxers he used to fight,_ she thought.

                Instead of letting the Admiral’s obvious tactic of making her watch as Chakotay was beaten because the Admiral didn’t believe that Kathryn wasn’t a Maquis sympathiser or had planned to disappear with him in to the Delta Quadrant, in order to extract a false confession from her she decided to play his game.

                Shooting Chakotay a quick  _I’m sorry_ glance she spoke, keeping her voice as steady as she could, drawing on all her command and diplomacy training and experience. “You do know that hurting him will not make me change my answers Admiral, and what makes you so sure I was the one who gave up information to him while we were out there. Did you ever stop to think that maybe he gave me more information than I ever could have given him?”

                The Admiral paused for a moment, obviously considering what she had said, Kathryn watch Chakotay’s face and the look of puzzlement that fell on it.  _Sorry for what? What are you doing?_

_Trust me?_

_Always_

Kathryn released a sigh of relief, although Chakotay couldn’t hear her he was obviously able to hear the Admiral and would therefore be able to hear what his responses were to whatever ‘information’ she was going to give him.

                “Yes the thought occurred to me Captain, but then how can I trust the word of a sympathiser? How do I know that this information is not actually your but his?”

Now Chakotay knew what she was doing, and a look of understanding crossed his face which he quickly replaced with mock horror. Again Kathryn had to swallow the smile that came all too easily where he was concerned.  _Hurry up_  she told him and her eyes flickered to his wrist again. He raised an eyebrow briefly, making his tattoo twitch,  _Already am, nearly there._

“I guess you will have to make that decision for yourself won’t you. If you truly believe that I was a Maquis sympathiser before I took command of Voyager and got pulled in to the Delta Quadrant then you obviously believe more on a lot less information.” Kathryn stated.

                “I have my reasons to believe what I believe Captain.”

                “Such as?” Kathryn asked, hoping that this tactic wasn’t going to earn her a blow from her guard who was suddenly scrutinising her much more closely.

                “Your previous history with the Cardassians. I believe you were once privy to their hospitality.”

                Kathryn shifted uncomfortably in her chair, she knew what the Admiral was referring to, and it wasn’t something she had ever discussed with anyone except the Councillor, Owen Paris and Justin, her first fiancé. She looked at Chakotay, the question clearly in his eyes mixed with concern that he was feeling due to her reaction to the Admirals words.

                “What does that have to do with this?” Kathryn asked, her voice stronger than she felt.

                “I would have thought being exposed to that kind of treatment would make anyone understand the Maquis” The Admiral stated. Kathryn closed her eyes, relieved that the Admiral hadn’t yet told Chakotay exactly what the hospitality was that she had received, but one look at her friend told her that the Admiral hadn’t needed to. Chakotay had clearly heard enough about what happened to female prisoners of the Cardassians to not need an explanation.  _I can’t talk about it_  she told him with her eyes, clearly filled with pain at the memories the Admiral was bringing to the surface.

_Alright, later_

_No! Never again_

Chakotay moved back a little, worried by the pain that was going through Kathryn’s eyes. If he hadn’t known her so well then he may have missed the momentary slip of the Captain’s mask so he doubted that the Admiral realised the impact he was having on her, and a hurting Kathryn Janeway was a dangerous Kathryn Janeway.

                “I can’t be the only member of Starfleet who has been through that experience, what makes you think that it would make me betray everything that I was bought up to believe and was taught at the Academy. You clearly don’t know me as well as you think you do.” Kathryn spat, trying to rein in her temper.

                “I know you well enough to know that you would rather experience the pain than a member of your precious crew.” The Admiral stated, as another blow went across Chakotay’s face, making his whole body move violently to the left. Although she couldn’t hear him she knew that he would have grunted in pain and would be breathing heavily, but she also knew that he was saving each strike in his memory ready for when he was freed from his chair.

Kathryn risked a longer glance at Chakotay’s restraint and noticed that now it was open, Chakotay had used some trick in order to open it, she wasn’t sure what it was but it was one that she hoped to learn from him in the future,  _because there will be one for us_  she promised herself.

                “Your right I would, but like I said Admiral, how do you know that he didn’t tell me anything? Like you said 7 years is a long time.” Kathryn said, her eyes never leaving Chakotay’s face.

                “We shall see.”

                “What does that mean?” Chakotay asked, his question being met with silence. He shot a look to Kathryn, she asked for clarification again too, but was again met with silence. Both guards turned and exited the rooms, leaving the Command team of Voyager alone in their own rooms, watching each other.

                In the silence Kathryn’s mind began to run,  _what does he mean ‘we shall see’? Have I gotten us in more trouble than a simple case of a nosy Admiral worried about the state of the ‘Maquis’ issue?_

                Chakotay could see Kathryn’s mind working, his was doing the same thing, they knew each other well enough that they were able to look at the same problem in 2 different ways and still come up with the same conclusion and a plan and a backup to get out of it.  _If only I could let the others know, as long as Kathryn is safe I can take the hits or anything else that this Admiral wants to throw at me, when we get out of here he is going to lose his pips and end up in those same Federation prison… I hope it’s with Sveta._ Chakotay smiled to himself at that last thought, Sveta would have a field day with a Starfleet Admiral and if she ever discovered what had occurred here today then his life was not going to be worth living. Sveta and his name still held some respect among the Maquis remaining.

                Kathryn watched Chakotay and tried to tell him that she was sorry for dragging him along with her, in to this mess again.

_I would follow you anywhere_

_You always have_

_Always will_

                Moment after the guards had left the rooms both fell in to darkness, with only the dim light of the corridor from under the doors seeped through Kathryn again questioned her decision to let Chakotay accompany her, while Chakotay thanked the spirits that he had told B’Elanna what they were planning.


	24. Missing

B’Elanna awoke to the now familiar cries of her 2 month old Daughter, the sound, even at this early hour put a smile on her face. She got out of bed, leaving her husband to sleep some more. Tom had come to bed late after trying to settle the unhappy Miral and deserved an hour or two more. Padding lightly across the carpet of their bedroom she entered the nursery that Tom’s parents had set up for their granddaughter upon their return and picked up the infant from her crib.

                “Good morning little warrior” She cooed at the baby, brushing her fingers lightly over the girls ridges. “You’re up early. Let’s get you fed and let your Daddy sleep some more, someone kept him up rather late last night” She said as she turned and carried the baby out to the living space with a view of the garden. Tom’s mum had noticed that B’Elanna favoured the room when feeding Miral so she had set up a nursing chair for her in the best position. The small gesture had meant more the B’Elanna than either of the Paris’ could imagine, it had meant she was accepted in to a family, unlike the one she herself had been raised in.

                As B’Elanna passed the desk she noticed that the message light was blinking on the console, pausing she checked who it was addressed to. There were several for Admiral Paris from Headquarters which was expected, but there was also a late message from Chakotay, sent from Captain Janeway’s apartment. B’Elanna smiled and decided that the news of the change in her former Command teams relationship could wait until her husband woke up, Tom would want to share the joy with her.

                Tom awoke to the smell of his mothers cooking filling the house. He had only recently started to realise how much he had missed that since he had been home, having been in New Zealand before being assigned to Voyager Tom had been away from home for longer than most of the crew, and was still getting used to it.

                He entered the kitchen to find his mother, wife and daughter sitting around the small table, talking happily about what they had planned for the day.

                “Miral has a check up with the Doctor today, so I will be taking her to Starfleet medical seeing as the engineering department have still got his mobile emitter, he is a bit confined to the building.” B’Elanna was saying

                “Maybe we could meet afterwards and go shopping together for the things for dinner. Your father is coming this evening isn’t he?” Tom’s mother asked.

                B’Elanna nodded, she had always had a difficult relationship with her father, it had only recently started to be repaired once Pathfinder had managed to make contact with Voyager in the Delta Quadrant and John Torres had reached out to his daughter, when she was around 6 months pregnant with Miral. Today would be the first time that they would see each other since Voyager had arrived home.

                Tom moved and stood behind his wife, giving her shoulder a quick squeeze, silent support. B’Elanna placed her hand over his and squeezed back. “Tom there is a message from Chakotay, he left it late last night… from the Captain’s apartment. I haven’t listened to it yet, thought we could together.” She said, turning the subject to something less troubling for her.

                “OK, let me grab a coffee and we can go and listen.”

                Tom’s mum stood and shook her head, “As much as I am greatefull to Captain Janeway bringing you back to us, she has given you both a terrible coffee addiction.” Tom and B’Elanna looked at each other and echoed their Captain’s phrase, “Best organic suspension in the universe” smiling.

                Standing up B’Elanna joined her husband and together they moved over to the desk with the console in the living area. B’Elanna placed Miral in her rocking chair and pressed play on the message.

Hey B’E, I’m sorry it’s so late but I wanted you to know something. Kathryn and I have found out who the real Admiral is behind Bleniot, Piller. We are going to his office now, and if we aren’t back by the time you see this then something has gone wrong and I haven’t been able to delete it from the records. I am encoding the information that we have on the Admiral, and Owen knows something too I think, Kathryn isn’t so sure.

Please B’E, if you see this, come and find us… ‘Chakotay come on, if we are going then we need to go now’ came Kathryn’s voice off screen, Chakotay looked at the screen again and shrugged his shoulders Gotta go.

The screen blinked off and B’Elanna looked at her husband. “Well that wasn’t what I was expecting it to be” She sighed. “I thought that they had sorted all of this and moved on together.”

                “Me too” Tom said, “But if he sent you this as they were out the door then they must have been missing for what? 7 hours now… something is wrong.”

B’Elanna nodded, Chakotay had recorded the message at around 2200 hours and it was now 0750, given that they were assuming a mission of a couple of hours at the most the message had been sent to B’Elanna at 0030, meaning that they hadn’t come back to Kathryn’s apartment to cancel the recording being sent.

                “I am going to try getting hold of them before we panic, maybe everything went well and they got distracted to remember to cancel the message.” B’Elanna said, calling up Chakotay’s contact on the console. The line worked chimed for a few moments before the computers automated voice informed her that he was not available and to leave a message. Closing the line ‘B’Elanna then tried Kathryn’s comm, figuring if that’s where the message was sent from then maybe both of her friends were in the same place, together. She got the same response as she had from Chakotay’s. Looking up at her husband worry filled her eyes, Tom clasped her hand and looked in to her eyes, worry filling his too.

                “I think we are going to need the others with us on this, whatever is going on is big, we can’t do it alone.” He said, B’Elanna nodded again, understanding his meaning. This was no longer a Command team issue, whatever it was Voyager’s whole Senior crew needed to know, and probably a few Maquis crew too.


	25. Coming together

Kathryn and Chakotay sat, restrained and in the near darkness. They were barely able to see in front of their faces let alone see each other anymore.  _Well this is worse than that bloody void_  Kathryn thought. At least then when she had retreated in to herself and allowed depression to take over her she had been able to see the one member of her crew that made her confront her own feelings, and eventually he pulled her out of it. Now she was just able to draw strength from the knowledge that he wasn’t far from her now, and that if anything happened to him she would know immediately.

Chakotay wasn’t sure what was worse, knowing that Kathryn was with him or not being able to communicate with her at all. At least when the lights were on they could see what the other was thinking, working side by side together for 7 years they could read the other like a book, even other members of the Senior Staff hadn’t known how they seemed to read each other’s minds,  _it’s all in the looks_  he thought to himself.

Instead of dwelling on the problems that he couldn’t solve Chakotay decided to focus his attention to the one that the darkness would actually allow him to improve on… his lose restraint. He had to admit finding a restraint loose on his chair had been a surprise and thanks to his Maquis training he had come prepared, a small pick attached to the inside seam of his sleeve. While Kathryn had been distracting the guards and the Admiral he had managed to loosen the pick and start working on the restraint hinges themselves, however he had to admit that the 2nd punch from the guard had done most of the work for him, throwing all this weight and the weight of the guard’s punch behind it Chakotay had managed to wrench the hold open more, allowing him more access to the more stubborn hinges.

Keeping his eyes focused down, but not directly on the area he was working on, Chakotay used the pick by wriggling it around in the hinge to loosen it, hoping that he would be able to work it loose, eventually open at least one side of it in order to free his arm completely so he could work on the 3 remaining restraints stopping him from getting to Kathryn.

After her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, something that she thanked those early days on Voyager with limited power so she had learned to move around areas of the ship including her quarters and Ready Room in near total darkness and the void itself for, she was able to see the outline of Chakotay’s frame, she could tell he was looking down at something on his left and that his hand was working furiously back and forth. She knew he was working on the restraint,  _please Chakotay don’t give up, you have gotten out of worse things than this, remember the Kazon with Seska?_ , she thought silently willing him on, unsure if the Admiral had kept the microphones from their earlier conversation on, hoping to catch something either one of them said. She wasn’t going to be caught out with something as simple as that.

She decided to test her restraints again, hoping that after countless attempts already.  _You never know Kathryn, 50th time lucky_  she thought over and over again. She was sure that they were going to give. Her wrists and ankles were burning, sore from the previous attempts and she was certain that once the lights were on again they would be red raw, she wouldn’t be surprised if they were bleeding in places.

Finally after what felt like hours she was sure she felt one of her ankle restraints give a little. She decided to test it again;  _yes it definitely gave a little more than last time_. She smiled, and immediately wanted to tell Chakotay, let him know that he wouldn’t have to face this as alone as he thought. She looked up at where she knew he was; he was still occupied with his own restraint. Whatever he was doing was working, the glint of the metal restraint was further than it had been before she inspected her leg, had it popped open?

 _YES!_ Chakotay cried out in his mind, the restraint sprang apart and his left arm was free. Quickly he started working on his right. Having learnt from the left side it was easier to and quicker to work on. After a few minutes the right sprang open too.  _Much faster than the first_  he thought,  _was it too easy_  came in to his mind but he quickly dismissed it, instead focusing on freeing his ankles and getting to Kathryn as soon as he could.

Kathryn kept kicking at her restraint around her ankle, it was giving more and more with each push, she was sure of it, each time to opening around her ankle felt wider with each push. She drew on all the strength that she had left in her body and kicked out violently, the restraint gave out and her leg swung up and out. She put her foot back on the floor, just out of the way of the restraint, not wanting to risk it snapping shut and locking her leg back again.

She looked back up at where Chakotay was, she was surprised to see that his figure looked a smaller this time, it took her a moment to realise that he was bent over at the waist attempting to work on his own leg restraints. From where she was sitting she could see that he was leaning to his right side, and that his left leg was further forward than the chair leg should have allowed it. Suddenly he stood up, and bolted towards the door.

B’Elanna Torres and Tom Paris had decided that they would take Miral to her appointment with the EMH together who had recently returned from his stay aboard the Jupiter station with Doctor Zimmerman, apparently no longer able to put up with his creators mood swings and personality, he had returned Starfleet Medical and had given his emitter to the Engineers to attempt to figure out. It wouldn’t look suspicious to anyone for new parents to both be taking their child to a check-up, especially when they were visiting their friend and Daughters Godfather at the same time.

Starfleet medical was busy as always, the general hustle and bustle of cadets entering and exiting their examination rooms, as well as those members of staff going about their daily business. The couple took the turbo lift up to the third floor where the EMH was waiting for them both.

“Mr Paris! I wasn’t expecting to see you today, I thought only B’Elanna would be bringing my goddaughter today” the hologram exclaimed.

“Well you know me Doc, never miss a chance to say hi” Tom quipped, both he and Doctor knew exactly how much Tom had enjoyed his time in Voyager’s sickbay, particularly in the earlier days and the new days of the couple’s relationship.

“Yes well, would you like to come through to my office and we can get started.” The EMH said, taking Miral from her mother, and returning to the room he had just exited from with B’Elanna and Tom following in his wake.

As the doors to his office slid shut the Doctor turned to the couple, “So now that we are alone, why are you both here, and don’t tell me it is for my charming personality.” He said, directing his comment more towards Tom than B’Elanna.

“The Captain and Commander are missing.” Tom responded directly

“What? We are in the Alpha Quadrant; I thought we had left all of this in the Delta Quadrant.” The hologram huffed, “Just how long have they been missing for?”

“Chakotay sent me a message last night; it was on a set timer to send at 0030 if he didn’t turn it off. I picked it up at 0750 this morning with Tom.” B’Elanna replied

“OK, so why does this mean that the Captain is missing as well?” The Doc asked

“It was sent from her apartment and we could hear her in the background. It sounded like they were just leaving and she didn’t know that he was telling B’E what was going on.” Tom answered

“And before you ask Doc, we have tried to call both of them on both their terminals and had no reply.” B’Elanna crossed her arms across her chest, “We believe something has happened regarding this Councillor Bleniot.”

“Hmm, I thought as much, when I asked Deanna Troi’s opinion on him she told me that she had never heard of him.” The Doctor said, closely examining Miral as he did so. “She is perfectly healthy Lieutenant.” He said handing the baby back to her mother.

“Thank you Doctor.” Tom said, “Now we need your help with something else… a rescue mission if you will”

“Mr. Paris, have you forgotten that I am once again a prisoner within these walls, all be it gladly, for now, and until I have my emitter back then it shall remain that way.” The EMH stated

“Who said you would have to leave these walls Doc, all we need is your comm.” Tom grinned

Kathryn woke with a start, she wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep but judging by the pain in her neck it had been awhile. She quickly scanned the cell opposite her to try and judge where Chakotay was, the last time she had seen him he had been working on the door of his cell, the fact that she had been asleep since then and he hadn’t woken her meant that he had obviously not been successful in getting out of his cell.

Fear flooded through her when she saw that the door to his cell was open, and he wasn’t with her.  _Where is he?_   _He wouldn’t have not come for me, same as I wouldn’t have left him._  She looked towards the door of her cell to see if there was any movement visible under it, there was none.  _Chakotay, where are you?_

 _Well this went from bad to worse_  he thought, his head pounding where he had obviously been hit by something heavy. He scanned his memory, the last thing he remembered was finally getting the door open, he had some trouble getting the panel off and then crossing the correct wires in the dark. The relief that he had felt when the door opened just enough for him to squeeze through, but the moment he had gotten though his memory went blank.  _I was hit, they were waiting for us to try to escape, I have to tell Kathryn._

“Glad you could join us Commander” Admiral Piller said, entering the room.

“Well your hospitality has been so gracious how could I possibly leave” Chakotay quipped, indicating to the chair that he was currently tied to.  _At least this time my hands and feet are free, just my chest to worry about._

“Indeed” The man replied, raising an eyebrow Tuvok would be proud of. “And we couldn’t have you leaving without Captain Janeway no could we.” The smirk on the man’s face made Chakotay’s blood boil.  _If he lays a finger on Kathryn he will live to regret it_

“Where is she?” Chakotay asked, trying not to let his irritation show

“Exactly where you left her.”

“What do you want Admiral, and don’t tell me some bullshit story about you just wanting to know what Captain Janeway and I might or might not have discussed over the last 7 years in the Delta Quadrant, you are smart enough to know that if we wanted to lie, 7 years is plenty of time to come up with a convincing lie.” Chakotay said, schooling his features to relax out of the snarl he knew they were in.

“You’re a very perceptive man Chakotay, I will give you that… although you weren’t always so were you.”

“Meaning what exactly”

“Reading people, let’s take your own Maquis crew for example; you had a Starfleet spy, a Vulcan no less, surely that should have tipped you off to that one, and a Cardassian Spy who was in your own bed!”

Chakotay lunged forward, ignoring the pain in his skull.

“Temper temper Commander” The Admiral smirked, “Anyone would think that you didn’t know”

“What. Do. You. Want” Chakotay ground out through gritted teeth, bringing up his flawed past with trusting the wrong people was not a good way to get him to talk.

“I want to know who within Starfleet helped you and Kathryn Janeway get to the Delta Quadrant.”

“No one did! It was a freak accident and a dying entity that pulled us both, separately, in to the Delta Quadrant.” Chakotay realised that the man in front of him truly was mad, which made him very dangerous and unstable.  _I have to warn Kathryn!_

 _“_ Liar!” The Admiral shouted, jutting towards Chakotay, who instinctively moved his head back, closing his eyes as saliva hit his face.

“Why do you think differently…? Do you really believe the rumours that circulated after Voyager disappeared?” Chakotay watched the man’s face closely, “Oh Spirits, you do. You truly believe that not only was it planned but that Kathryn and I planned it together!” Horror raced through Chakotay, not only was the Admiral mad he was also completely beyond the point of saving.

_I have to get Kathryn out of here_


	26. Known

Kathryn realised that she must have drifted off to sleep again, the exhaustion of worrying for Chakotay had finally won over and she had slept. Before opening her eyes she realised she wasn’t alone anymore, instinct told her that the person with her wasn’t Chakotay and wasn’t friendly; her internal red alert blaring. Carefully she half opened her eyes, trying to assess the situation presented to her without alerting her companion that she was conscious. In front, slightly off to the left of her she could see a pair of black polished Starfleet issue boots and slacks.  _Here we go again_ she thought, mentally becoming Captain Janeway and placing Kathryn in the part of her brain with her emotions. No one could break Captain Kathryn Janeway, not the Kazon, the Borg or the Hirogen have done that and she was damned if it was going to be some jumped up Admiral that got the better of her.

“Captain, I hope you enjoyed your rest.” The Admiral’s voice was cold, but she could sense that there was something behind it, he was rattled by something.

“Admiral” Kathryn croaked out, her throat dry from lack of water. Her head was starting to pound,  _I would kill for a coffee_  she thought, recognising that it was caffeine withdrawal.

“Now that you have had some time to think, is there anything that you would like to tell me about your relationship the Commander Chakotay?”

“It’s all in my logs sir, and we have already established that you have had access to both my official logs and my personal logs” Kathryn replied, not sure why this line of questioning was being explored again. “Where is Chakotay?”

“He is being looked after Captain, don’t worry yourself. Your First Officer is being treated as well as he deserves.” The last part of this statement sent a shiver down Kathryn’s spine. Whatever the Admiral was doing or had done to Chakotay he deserved better treatment,  _he deserved better from me_ , the intrusive thought passed unwelcome in to her mind, she pushed it aside to deal with later when she could be Kathryn again.

“What do you want?” Captain Janeway asked.

“I am very glad you asked. I want to know who you were working with in order to arrange for your escape to the Delta Quadrant.” He snarled

“You will have to ask the Caretaker why he took both Voyager and the Val Jean… as far as I am aware his remains are still in the medical storage bay on-board.” She had to bite back the laughter at the stupidity of the suggestion.

Suddenly a hand flew across her face and struck her, throwing her to the right with some force. If she hadn’t been restrained by the chair she was sure it would have toppled her.  _Nothing worse the Cullah handed out_ ;  _Chakotay had been there to catch me then though._

“I will not put up with your glib remarks Captain, remember who you are speaking to.” The Admiral spat

“Oh I am well aware who I am speaking to. Someone who no longer upholds the standards and practices of this organisation; or is it now acceptable to beat your colleagues? Things must have changed within Starfleet drastically since we were pulled to the other side of the Galaxy.” Kathryn joked, unable to keep the sarcastic note from her voice,  _Oh Janeway you’re not doing very well at keeping Kathryn in check_.

The Admiral leaned forward and bent at the waist, his hand going under Janeway’s chin, it took every ounce of control she had not to pull her head away from him, his stale breath in her face,  _he hasn’t been home_ she thought, “Oh no Captain, it’s the same Starfleet, we just take a harder line on deserters and terrorists than you thought we did.”

“I didn’t desert Starfleet; I bought my crew home and upheld the principals of Starfleet to boot. Terrorists, well if you are referring to the Maquis members of my crew then you need to check the files, they have all been pardoned and given their ranks, they are no longer considered terrorists… Chakotay included!” Janeway hissed.

“That’s not what I believe, Captain.” He said releasing her chin, “You see what I believed happened was that you knew Commander Chakotay before you left with Voyager to the Badlands, and working in league with him, the Caretaker, someone within Starfleet and even possibly the Cardassian’s themselves you and he planned to escape to the Delta Quadrant, what I want to know is who helped you and how? What was your relationship with the Commander, and please don’t insult my intelligence and tell me that you are just friends.”

Janeway sighed, her internal klaxon wasn’t getting any quieter, this Admiral was a dangerous man, and quite probably unbalanced especially if he believed the strange rumours that had floated around in the early days of speculation when Voyager had disappeared. Her mother had told her most of them while they were still stranded, they had laughed about it all, now it seemed that it was coming back to haunt her in a dangerous way.

“Where is Chakotay? I won’t tell you anything until I see him.” She ground out.

“Scared that your co-conspirator has let the truth out?”

“There is nothing to let out.” She sighed, internally rolling her eyes.

“Now Captain we both know that isn’t true don’t we” He sneered, the tone of his voice made her stomach rebel against her, if she had eaten she was sure it would have come back up, his voice reminded her of Kashyk, the false sincerity.

“Everything that I told him or any other member of the Maquis crew is in my logs. Go and check them if you don’t believe m… better yet pull Voyager’s database apart byte by byte if you think that logs were deleted.”

“I might just do that, in the meantime, do enjoy some alone time. I think having the Commander opposite you was a bit of distraction for you both. I won’t be making that little error again.” With that the Admiral turned and left the room, the guards dutifully following him out. This time though the lights remained on.

_Well at least I know he is alive, even if it is at the hands of a madman. Beats the last time he disappeared on me_

B’Elanna and Tom sat in his parent’s living room, surrounded by their Voyager family, the Doctor on the console on the table in the corner of the room, giving him a clear view of the group.

During their time in the Doctor’s office they had used his comm. to contact as many of the Voyager Senior staff and those Maquis members of the crew that they thought they would need, not wanting to draw attention to their actions in case they were being monitored by this Admiral Piller. The EMH contacting members of the crew would be perfectly explainable under the guise of check-up and catch ups, they were also less likely to be monitoring his console in Starfleet medical, at least that was the hope.

Tom looked at the people filling the room; it still surprised him seeing them in civilian clothing rather than their uniforms or the same clothing that they had been in time and time again at social events on-board. Mike Ayala, Ken Dalby, Seven of Nine and the Delany Sisters’ sat round the small table between them. Tom glanced at his wife and she stood to collect his father, Admiral Owen Paris, his mother Julia, had been sent out on an errand in order to give the group some privacy.

When B’Elanna returned Tom cleared his throat and began. “Thank you for coming all, I am going to be blunt here so we all know where we are. The Captain and Commander are missing.” He stated bluntly, slowly moving his eyes from person to person.

He noted that there was a general look of shock but nothing that would overwhelm them all. “I know, it’s not unusual for our command team, always putting themselves in harm’s way, but I have to admit that I thought once we were home it would stop and normal life could resume… whatever that was for them now.” That got a small chuckle from the group.

“Do we know where their last known location was?” Seven asked. She had bristled slightly at the mention that Chakotay and Kathryn were missing, together. While on Voyager she had hoped that the Social lessons she was having with the Commander would develop in to something more, however this had obviously not been in his mind beyond friendship with her.

“Yes, Chakotay sent me all the information that he had on an Admiral Piller before they left the Captain’s apartment. It’s not much but it’s a starting point at least.” B’Elanna said, handing each of them a PADD with all that they had on it.

“A wise precaution” Seven assessed.

“This has to be wrong” Mike Ayala spoke up, his eyes skimming the information in front of him.

“Why do you say that Mike?” B’Elanna asked.

Mike looked up, “Of course you wouldn’t remember, it was just before you joined our crew on the Val Jean. Mike Piller is someone that Chakotay and I came across, and believe me he was no Starfleet officer back then, let alone Admiral Material like our Captain.”

***

Something had been nagging at Chakotay, something about the Admiral, something about him was familiar somehow, but he couldn’t remember where from. It was irritating him, he usually had a memory for faces, and it had come in handy in the Maquis, particularly for intelligence reasons.

_I know him from somewhere; come on Old Man, your memory can’t be failing you now, not when Kathryn needs you._

Chakotay searched his memory, trying to figure out where he knew the man from; he assumed that as he was an Admiral it must have been from when he was a Commander or at the very least a serving member of Starfleet. He silently searched his memory, his eyes moving back and forth as he did so, not focusing on anything. He had a feeling that the Admiral had left him to go and see Kathryn, to try his luck at getting what he wanted from her.

 _Was he someone that I knew from the Academy? One of the ships I served on? Some away mission together? Joint task force together? On shore leave? Why can’t I remember_? Chakotay growled at himself. There was something about the man, his mannerisms; the way that he spoke that was triggering something in his memory, a faint wave of awareness passing through him. What was it? He shook his head, clearing his thought,  _maybe it was somewhere else, and have I outrun him in my Maquis days?_  Suddenly a light sparked in his memory.  _Yes, I have met him before while in the Maquis, early on though. It was only briefly, a fleeting meeting. Where was it?_

Then it dawned on Chakotay… Dorvan!

Just after the Cardassian’s had killed his family and Chakotay had decided to join the Maquis, it was the first time he had been back, he had gone back to tell his father and mother that he would make the people that did this to them wish they hadn’t. He had been so angry and full of pain that he hadn’t noticed the man standing and watching him at first. It wasn’t until he had heard the undergrowth moving that he realised he was no longer alone.

_That can’t be what this is about?_

_***_

“Mike, I think you had better fill us in.” Harry said, speaking for the first time since the information had been handed to them all. “Does this Admiral know Chakotay?”

“Yes, but I am not sure that Chakotay will remember, it was a long time ago” Mike replied, clearly lost in the memory of it. “It wasn’t that long after Chakotay joined our cell, we went back to Dorvan, he wanted to speak to his Father. He had the ship so off we went, it was on the way anyway. We were in orbit one day and Chakotay went down to the surface, alone, he was gone for an hour before he demanded to be transported back, he was extremely agitated when he got back.” Mike huffed a laugh, “You know how he gets B’E” The half Klingon nodded, “Anyway, it took me weeks of waiting to get it out of him. According to Chakotay this man, who eventually introduced himself as Piller, came at him, ranting and raving at him, blaming him for the attack that the Cardassian’s made on the colonists, the deaths that they caused. He seemed to know who Chakotay was even though he had never met the man, but Piller was certainly sure he knew the Commander.”

“So Piller is a bit unhinged?” Tom asked

“More than a bit judging by what Chakotay was saying. He was sure that Chakotay had something to do with the attack on the colony; even given some kind of information to the Cardassian’s themselves. He blamed the Commander for everything; it was his fault that his entire family, wife and child were slaughtered by the Cardies.” Mike finished.

“Are you sure Mike?” B’Elanna asked, “I know Chakotay was angrier than anything when I first joined the crew, but we all were at the start, we all had our reasons for joining him and the Maquis.”

“Yes I am. It was something I never forgot. If I’m honest, back then I didn’t know him as well and I was very suspicious of his actions and motives for a while after that, till he saved my butt and I owed him my life.” Mike smiled, remembering the friendship he had built with Voyager’s First Officer.

“But why take him now, why ask us all those strange questions with a false councillor?” Tom asked

“I might have the answer to that.” Owen spoke up, he had been reading through his PADD while listening to Mike speak, now all the attention was on him, “During the war with the Dominion there were some brutal incidents, some with the Cardassian’s in the beginning, before they realised that the Dominion were only out for themselves, some of those incidents meant that innocent colonies were affected, including those that were affected by the treaty we had with them… Dorvan included.” The Older man’s eyes fell to the floor; a haunted expression graced his features.

“You don’t have to elaborate Dad” Tom said, feeling for the older Paris.

His father looked up, his grey blue eyes meeting his sons, sending a silent thanks to him. “Anyway, Piller was witness to one of these, I can’t remember the name of the planet, but it was similar to what happened on Dorvan. Whole families, whole colonies were wiped out, men, women, children. It seemed that history was repeating itself. By then the Federation had learnt the true nature of what had happened to those colonies that were handed over to the Cardassian’s, the same information that the Maquis had been operating on for years.” He turned to Mike and B’Elanna, “I for one am sorry that you were not believed sooner, so much heartache and loss of life could have been prevented.” Both members of Chakotay’s crew nodded, “Anyway, after that from the reports I have heard Piller withdrew in to himself, became more set on completing missions, no matter the risk. At the time it made him an excellent Officer and asset to us, which is probably why he rose through the ranks so quickly. Personally I would not have made him a Commander yet, let alone an Admiral.”

The room fell silent; the Delany Sisters’ looked at each other, silently communicating. Tom had grabbed B’Elanna’s hand; the EMH’s voice broke the silence, making many of those present start, having forgotten that he was watching everything over the comm.

“While you have all been talking I have been using some of my considerable skill and a few of those handy Maquis command subroutines that B’Elanna and Harry added to the ECH program and I have accessed the medical files that are held for Admiral Michael Piller” He held up a hand in a very Janeway fashion, “Don’t worry it is untraceable, anyway, looking at his file the Admiral is not to be an Admiral for much longer, it has been recommended that he is retired for Medical reasons, extreme battle stress, I believe it is similar to the 20th Century PTSD. It has been known to cause extreme mood swings, dangerous behaviour and in severe cases madness and hallucinations. A dangerous combination I am sure you would agree.”

“Well it certainly sounds like he has become obsessed with the Captain and Commander since we got back” Megan Delany said, her sister, Jenny, nodding next to her.

“Indeed” the EMH agreed, “It would appear that the arrival of Voyager, and therefore Commander Chakotay and his remaining Maquis crew, has sent the Admiral in to a bit of a tailspin. With the added press coverage, as well as you all, quite rightly, being praised as heroes and rewarded as such will have fed in to his delusions.”

“And what delusion is that Doctor?” Asked Seven

“That Chakotay escaped justice and was skilfully aided by Voyager, or more specifically her Captain. Possibly someone else higher up within Starfleet, perhaps even someone with an added incentive to see Voyager safe and clear of charges… maybe someone who had a family member who would benefit from being away from Starfleet for a while?” He said, looking between Tom and Owen Paris.

“He can’t seriously believe that I would have allowed my son to be dragged halfway across the galaxy?” Owen exclaimed

“Yea Doc, you seem to forget that it was my father, quite rightly, who handed me over to the authorities in the first place.” Tom said, watching his father. It was a subject that they had discussed at length since their return, both of them holding guilt over the past and ultimately the air between them had been cleared, forging the basis for a new and stronger relationship going forward.

“Well according to the notes from his last counselling session, since Voyager’s return his fixation with the Commander has become stronger. I believe that if we do not get to them soon then it is very likely some harm will come to one or both of our Command team”


	27. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A really short chapter, some of the backround on the interaction between Chakotay and Piller.   
> It might not make much sense now but I will be fleshing it out later on, let me know if there is any way you would like it done.

Chakotay was still strapped to his chair, each time he tried the restraints they just pulled tighter around him, but still he struggled against them. Now he knew what had been nagging him about Michael Piller he was more determined than ever to get Kathryn out of here and away to safety. His last experience with Piller was something that he had tried very hard to forget, it has certainly been a troubling experience.

_The breeze had whipped the dust up and in to the air, it stung his eyes and fresh tattoo, making him more conscious of the shaved section of his scalp. His Starfleet uniform and rank bar in his hands. No longer required._

_“I’m sorry Father” He had said, whispering it to the wind over the stone that marked where his father’s earthly remains lay. Chakotay hoped that he would still be able to contact him in his Spirit Quests. “If I had only been here, maybe I could have done something. Instead I was with the organisation that allowed this to happen. Well no more” He had thrown his uniform on the ground, in to the dust._

_As he turned away from his Father’s grave he noticed the man staring at him, absently he wondered why he was there, what he was watching him for, but he continued on his way regardless. Almost at the gates to the cemetery that had been hastily put together, the man grabbed him from behind, clasping his shoulder and pulling Chakotay around to face him._

_“It’s you! This was all your doing!” the man growled._

_“Let go of me” Chakotay said, shrugging the man’s hand from his shoulder, irritated that his private time to say goodbye to his Father had been disrupted, “What do you want?”_

_“This is all your fault!” The man scowled at him, “If you hadn’t helped them then none of this would have happened.”_

_“Helped who?”_

_“The ones that did this, the Cardassian’s, Starfleet. They were only here because of you! Now they are dead, all of them, everyone I ever cared about... and it all your fault!”_

_“Are you talking about the treaty between the Federation and Cardassia?” Chakotay asked_

_“They are all dead, because of you. You and associates” The man began babbling, pacing back and forth, “If you and them hadn’t been there, and had been here, then it would have changed, could have changed, they would be here, happy, like they were before. Now they’re not, and it’s his fault, all his fault, nothing would have happened if it wasn’t for him.” He stopped. “YOU DID THIS!” He screamed at Chakotay, spittle hitting his face._

_Chakotay felt the anger bubble inside him, the guilt he was feeling at being in Starfleet, the ones who had set up that damn treaty that had allowed the Cardassians to treat this planet, his home and his family like this was hard enough to take, now this strange, drunk and insane man was laying the blame squarely at his feet, personally. “I think you have me confused, now if you will excuse me.” He said, moving out of the man’s path and headed towards the gate._

_“This is your fault, I will find you and I will make you pay for what you have done here, what you have cost me... I will make you pay” The man shouted at Chakotay’s retreating figure._

_Chakotay had returned to the Maquis transport he had been staying on, on the way to collect his vessel, the Val Jean, his temper boiling up inside him, anger, guilt, sadness, hatred and self-questioning swirling inside him. The crazy man’s words adding to the already existing fire within him. He had bumped in to Mike Ayala on the way to his bunk, he had known that his newest Captain was troubled and had attempted the speak to him about, Chakotay had grunted something at him and moved on, when Mike hadn’t dropped it Chakotay had all but slammed him in to the bulkhead and told him to mind his damn business._

The memory came back to Chakotay, although he was sure there were pieces that he had repressed of what that crazy drunk had said to him, he had remembered the general tone of it. For some reason he had laid all the blame at Chakotay’s feet for whatever his loss was.

            Chakotay had used his anger and funnelled it in to the Maquis cause, using his Starfleet training to assist them, apparently that man had used it to get drunk and ramble hateful things at people in their worst moments. Apparently that man had been the now Admiral Michael Piller.


	28. Plans come together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I am getting to the end of this story now. Thank you to all who are still reading.

            The remaining members of Voyager’s Senior Staff sat round the dining table of the Paris residence. Mike, Megan, and Jenny had left an hour before, needing to return home to their families. Owen Paris had returned to Starfleet Headquarters in order to get further information together for the rescue operation that had been planned, Tom and Mike had requested as much information as possible on Admiral Piller and the rooms he used within Starfleet. The EMH had left returned to his duties within Starfleet medical, and had been deactivated for the evening as far as they were aware, although B’Elanna knew that she would be able to activate him at a moment’s notice thanks to the subroutines she had installed early in their journey.

            Seven, Tom, Harry and B’Elanna sat with their information spread over the table, coffee in hand. Miral was sleeping soundly in the crib in the living room behind where B’Elanna was sitting. She smiled to herself looking at the familiar scene in front of her.

            “What’s that smile for” Tom asked quietly, nudging his wife.

            “Nothing, just remembering all those other times we have been like this, enjoying working with each other, trying to solve a problem or other.” She smiled at her husband, “Even with the others missing, it’s nice to feel like we are doing something normal.”

            “I know what you mean; ever since we got home it’s felt like something was missing. Maybe it wasn’t something but some people.” Tom replied, placing a hand on B’Elanna’s arm.

            “We should make more of an effort to see them all more frequently, and without people we care about in danger.”

            Tom nodded, and lightly ran his thumb over her arm, trying to sooth the worry that she was feeling for their command team but one that she wouldn’t say aloud. They were both worried that something would happen to either or both of their commanding officers, people the counted as friends, before they could get to them, but no one around the table in front of them was going to say it.

            They sat quietly for a moment watching Harry and Seven working before inspiration hit B’Elanna. “Let me see those floor plans again Harry.” She asked, holding her hand out for the relevant PADD that Harry had. He handed it to her with a small frown crossing his features; she studied it briefly before hitting several buttons, scanning that page before returning to the previous one. Looking up she realised that everyone was watching her. “I think I know where they are. We need to get the others back here.”

***

            Kathryn had lost track of time long ago. Her ankle was aching from her previous attempts to free it from the restraint, she was thankful that the Admiral hadn’t realised that her leg was free when he had last entered the room. _Either he didn’t notice or he doesn’t care_.  Her arms ached from being in the same position for too long, and he neck was hurting from sleeping while sitting up. She was also longing for a cup of coffee.

            She heard the door open, the pain in her neck as she twisted her head to see who had entered the room made her grimace; when she saw who it was her eyes widened in surprise.

            The guards that had previously dragged her and Chakotay in to their rooms entered they came with her First Officer between them. Their eyes met, _he looks haunted_ Kathryn thought. He smiled weakly at her before making his face the command mask he had perfected from watching her.

            “Chakotay, are you OK?” Kathryn asked.

            “He is fine Captain, do not worry yourself.” The Admiral answered before Chakotay had a chance to open his mouth. He looked at his Captain, silently telling her that he was _OK really_ , she gave him a small nod and watched as the guards threw him in to another chair that had been bought it. _Well at least we are together_ Kathryn thought, her thoughts mirroring Chakotay’s.

            “Now that you have had some time to think Captain, is there anything you want to tell me about yourself and Commander Chakotay?” The Admiral sneered at Kathryn while watching his men strap Chakotay in to his new chair.

            “Like I have told you, _Admiral,_ everything is in the reports.” She answered, tired of hearing the same questions over and over again.

            “I see you are going to require some more persuasion.” He growled and nodded to his guards, who struck Chakotay square in the stomach, causing him to double forward as much as his restraints would allow. Kathryn was beginning to view the guards more as the Admirals henchmen from one of Tom’s movies than Starfleet Officers.

            “Is that your plan? Beat one or both of us until you get some kind of a forced confession out of us?” Kathryn spat

            “Oh no, I intend to get the truth out of you and your Maquis First Officer.” He leaned towards Kathryn, his hands gripping her wrists. Kathryn pushed down the pain that it was causing her. “One way or the other” He said, grinning.

***

            B’Elanna looked round at the now complete group of her Voyager friends. Mike and the Delany’s had come back, telling their families that they were sorry but their other family needed them; Mike had told his wife that Chakotay and Kathryn needed him, and given the woman’s gratitude to Voyager’s commanding pair she had told him not to come back until the mission was complete... just don’t take another 7 years; he had told B’Elanna grinning like a Cheshire cat.

            “I think I know where they are being held.” B’Elanna began addressing the small group.

            “Where?” Harry asked, he was still perplexed by how she had come to this conclusion from the same information he had been looking at for what felt like hours, but then he admired the way that her brain worked at solving engineering problems.

            “Here” She said, pointing at the room next to the Admiral’s designated office.

            “That does not seem like a logical place Lieutenant.” Seven stated

            “It’s as logical place as any Seven, look at this.” B’Elanna replied, turning the PADD round so everyone could easily see what she was pointing at as she explained. “This whole floor is practically deserted, most of the Admiral’s who have offices on this floor are either on leave, away on diplomatic missions or are right at the other end of the building, their aides are with them, so either on leave or away too; leaving the end of the building that Admiral Piller’s office is situated practically vacant.” She looked up and watched the faces of her friends, hoping that there was at least one of them following her train of thought, when she saw that they weren’t se clarified, “The building power distribution is wrong for the amount of offices that are occupied... and most of it seems to be directed at the Admiral’s office, which is normal, as well as the conference room next door. Why?”

            “What would pull that much power?” Mike asked

            “Force fields probably.” Kim answered

            “More than 1 force field, probably 2 or 3 working at the same time.” B’Elanna elaborated.

            “I also noticed that several of the conference rooms within Headquarters are soundproofed. Is that normal practice?” Megan Delany asked.

            “Yes, we often use them to discuss highly classified information” Admiral Paris answered. “There are only 4 in the building, and the one next to Admiral Piller is the largest.”

            “He is the only one that ever uses it according to these records.” Tom said, looking at his father. “Is that normal?”

            “It’s not unheard of, but it isn’t normal.” Owen admitted; he looked over at his daughter-in-law, “Is that where you think he is holding the Captain and Commander?”

            “This particular room is soundproofed more than any of the others, while the normal ones have only a single layer of proofing, this one has been reinforced with it.” B’Elanna raised an eyebrow at him, waiting to see if he was going to tell her that he knew about it, the look of puzzlement that crossed his features told her that her father-in-law was not aware of it at all.

            “So any little sound that came from there, no matter how loud wouldn’t be heard.” Kim said.

            “The perfect place to keep someone hidden in plain sight too.” Jenny Delany said.

            “Then I believe we have a logical place to start.” Seven stated, looking around the table watching as all of the nodded in agreement.

            “Alright, then let’s get our people out of there.” Mike exclaimed, finally feeling useful to those around him again. B’Elanna smiled at her friend, he was a man of action rather than planning, and where his friends were concerned Mike was one of the most loyal and protective people you could meet.

            “Ok, so how do we get access to that room without being seen?” Tom asked

            “I might be able to help with that... call it one of the perks of being an Admiral.” Owen smiled.

***

            The sound of the guard’s fist hitting Chakotay for what felt like the 15th time in as many minutes made Kathryn sick to her own stomach. She hated seeing anyone hurt, especially one of her crew, but Chakotay in particular. Even if they hadn’t been starting a more involved relationship now they were home, he was still her best friend and person she went to when she needed support. She glared up at the Admiral, her command mask long slipped away, she didn’t care anymore, _he still doesn’t know my leg is free, I can use that_ , she thought testing her movement slightly, waiting to see if Piller noticed. He didn’t, he was busy concentrating on Chakotay and his henchman’s work.

            Kathryn looked at Chakotay, his face was black with new bruising, his lower lip was split and swollen, his left eye was almost closed with the injuries he had received to it, and the blood from his eyebrow was making its way down his left cheek. She hated to think about what his torso looked like as he had suffered as much punishment there as he had in his face.

 _I’m sorry, what more can I say?_ She asked him silently

_Nothing, it’s not your fault_

            Kathryn frowned slightly, she knew it wasn’t her fault, but she felt guilty for it anyway, she was the one that had dragged him along with her to confront this mad man, she was the one that had decided to bait him, and now Chakotay was paying the price.

            “Come on Captain, I am losing my patience with you both now. You and I both know that you and the Commander knew each other before Voyager was sent out to the Badlands.” The Admiral stated to Kathryn, as if it was a fact rather than unfounded rumour that had long been disproven and forgotten by everyone in Starfleet, _except 1_ thought Kathryn.

            “How many times do we have to tell you, the first time we ever met once we were pulled in to the Delta Quadrant by the Caretaker.” Kathryn replied, her voice was horse from the lack of water and sleep.

            “Kathryn, we should just tell him what he wants to know” Chakotay choked out. Kathryn turned to look at him, silently questioning what it was that he meant.

            “Your right Admiral, we did know each other, in fact we planned everything, and we planned to escape to the Delta Quadrant, taking 2 crews of innocent people along for the hell of it”

            _What are you doing!_ Kathryn shot at Chakotay

            _Trust me_ , Kathryn nodded at him, letting him continue and curious about where this was going now, hoping Chakotay knew what he was doing.

            “We knew each other before you and I even met, we planned everything.” Chakotay continued, “Everything that happened 7 years ago was all us, Kathryn and me. You’re right that it wasn’t coincidence that Voyager and the Val Jean met up on the other side, it was planned.”

            The Admiral’s attention turned from Kathryn straight on to Chakotay, and she realised what Chakotay was doing. _Keeping the attention from you, giving you an opening_ he told her. She gave him a small nod and released the breath she had been holding since Chakotay had started giving in to the Admiral.

            “I knew it! Just like I knew you were involved with the Cardassians that killed everything dear to me” The Admiral spat.

            Kathryn started to twist her still shackled wrists, trying to get her long fingernails into the opening that her movements created. She didn’t care if she ended up with her fingers bloodied and bruised, the Doctor’s at Starfleet would be able to repair any damage that she did to herself.

            “You were working with them, you made them come to Trebus, made them all a target. Then you turned your back and ran like a coward, leaving the defenceless women and children to suffer for your actions” The Admiral rambled, his face inches from Chakotay’s. Out of the corner of her eye Kathryn could see the pain and anger flitting across Chakotay’s face, although he knew that he was innocent of whatever it was the Admiral was laying at his feet, but it hurt none the less.

            Chakotay caught Kathryn’s eyes, _You’re a good man_ she tried to tell him but the pain and memories clouded his eyes that she wasn’t sure he understood her; meaning to give him strength to take the cruel words thrown at him rather than pity.

            “You are the reason that they are all gone, and now because of your selfish actions even more people were ripped from their families!”Piller continued rambling at Chakotay. Kathryn felt her finger slip in to the opening of her left wrist restraint, knowing it would open with one more movement she repeated the process of the right.

            “Is that what you truly believe?” Chakotay finally spoken, his tone even, not giving a hint of the pain that Kathryn could tell he was feeling, silently thanking him for what he was doing giving her  chance to get free; keeping the eyes of the Admiral and his guards on him, Kathryn forgotten in the room.


	29. Into Action

The group of Voyager’s all converged on Starfleet Headquarters, they had split up to make their way separately, not wanting to draw the media’s attention that invariably came along with a group of the famous Voyager crew now.

            Mike and the Delany’s came together, meeting Seven and Harry at the local coffee cart, a ‘chance’ meeting of friends, Tom and B’Elanna were out on a ‘date’ night on the other side of the building. Owen and Julia Paris had Miral for the night, partly as a cover if anything went wrong and they were questioned, but mainly because B’Elanna had insisted on going to get her friends back but would not take Miral, something Tom had agreed with. He knew his wife well enough to know that she was not going to be happy sitting on the sidelines while all the action occurred, she was still annoyed with herself at having missed their triumphant return to Earth because she was in labour.

            “Everyone ready” Tom asked, discreetly tapping his comm. badge on the inside of his jacket sleeve. It chirped twice in response and he nodded to his wife that their friends were ready to go.

            Owen had given B’Elanna his codes to be able to get in undetected, and she would be able to use a few tricks she had picked up in the Maquis to cover her tracks so the breeches wouldn’t get back to Owen, Seven had also suggested that a few of her Borg algorithms could be used, but that had been considered too dangerous as she was one of the only 2 ex-Borg on Earth, Icheb being to other, so it would be easily traced back to them and Voyager.

            “Let’s get our crew back” Tom said smiling at B’E, while talking to his comm. badge.

            Walking up the stairs at the back of the building, and able to see through the glass doors to the other side Seven came in to B’Elanna’s view, the half-Klingon smiled at her as she entered the access codes in to the door PADD. Holding her breath she hit the complete button, when both doors slid open she breathed out, “Well that’s one obstacle done” She quipped over her shoulder to Tom.            

            Together they entered the deserted building. They had expected it to be empty, given the hour, and Owen had told them that there were only 2 security guards on in the actual building, Starfleet had recently had to cut back on their Headquarters security personnel as more were needed onboard ship to make up for those that had been lost in the war with the Dominion.

            Seven, Harry, Mike and the Delany’s were waiting on the outside of the other door, B’Elanna moved over to the desk area and taped in a few codes, one to loop the previous security footage to the few moments before any of them arrived and the other to open the doors for the remaining Voyagers. Once all of them were inside they divided in to their 2 prearranged teams. Tom, Harry, Mike and Seven would move on to locate the Captain and Commander while the Delany’s would stay hidden in the lobby area to keep an eye for anyone who could cause them a problem entering the building.

            “Right, let’s go” Harry said to his team, nodding to Megan and Jenny as they moved to hide.

            Keeping to the shadows, even though the cameras wouldn’t record them they moved quickly and quietly down the corridors of Headquarters. Harry led the group as he had studied the blueprints of the floors closely, not that the building was unfamiliar to any of them; Tom took up the rear of the party, enjoying the view of his wife’s figure in front of him.

            “OK, B’E, Seven you’re up, the Admiral’s office is on the 4th floor. Owen gave us the codes to use the turbo lift that enters that floor 2 rooms down.” Harry said as Seven and B’Elanna moved forward.

            B’Elanna entered Owen’s codes again while Seven entered the Maquis codes that would cover the use of the lift before it was entered in to the main computer system. As it arrived Tom and Harry scanned the area around them, double checking that the corridors remained clear.

            After what felt like an eternity, but was actually only a few seconds, the lift arrived and the group entered quickly. Tom hit the PADD and the doors slide closed and the lift started to move. The group let out a collective breath, the first stage was complete; Tom gave B’Elanna’s hand an affectionate squeeze, letting her know that he was there. She looked up and smiled at him, worry for her friend’s dancing in her eyes.

            The turbo lift stopped and Tom released B’Elanna’s hand, back to the task at hand. Seven slipped out first, scanning the corridor in front of her, holding her hand up to stop the other members of the group from leaving the lift until she was sure it was clear, she used her Borg enhanced senses to ensure that the coast was clear, as well as trying to listen for any sounds that Janeway or Chakotay might be making. She lowered her hand and they filed out; Tom again bringing up the rear, this time thought Harry was in front of him.

            Seven led the group past the 2 rooms between them and where they believed their Command team to be. Seven paused, halting the group. She listened for a moment before turning to B’Elanna, “I believe Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are in the next room.”

            B’Elanna frowned at her, “You’re sure Seven, and we can’t afford to get this wrong.”

            Seven raised her enhanced eyebrow in response. “Although I cannot be certain I can hear something going on in the room behind this wall.”

            “Well that’s good enough for me” Tom said, “At this time of night I doubt even Nechayev will be working.” He quipped referring to the infamous Admiral.

            Harry nodded and B’Elanna shrugged her shoulders, happy to go with the majority. Seven moved to the doors, noticing that it was not locked. The doors slide open, revealing the aide’s office space, which was empty as they expected. Once Tom was inside and the doors had closed they took a moment to regroup. Harry used his tricorder to scan for the Admiral or any other life signs in the Admirals office, upon finding none he smiled at the group settling themselves in the aide’s office space.

            “OK, we have made it this far, it’s pretty safe to say that we’re in the right place. What’s next?” Tom asked

            “Whatever it is we will have to act fast, use the element of surprise.” Harry said.

            “OK Buster what do you suggest?” Tom asked, referring to Harry as his Captain Proton character, trying to lighten the mood.

            “Do you remember that episode, Captain Proton versus the Cosmic Creature?” Harry asked, Tom nodded, a glimmer of recognition flickering across his face. Harry looked towards B’Elanna and Seven before elaborating. “Captain Proton has to sneak in to the creatures’ lair without waking it.”

            “In order to do that Captain Proton had to find the hidden doorway to get in to the inner sanctum.” Tom elaborated.

            “Do you believe there will be a hidden door within the Admiral’s office?” Seven asked.

            “It makes sense. I mean he must have to have meetings within his office and it would be difficult to explain a doorway to a cell block wouldn’t it.” B’Elanna answered, “He must have a panel that triggers it.”

            “It would be logical to assume that the trigger is near or in his desk, as that it the area most accessible to the Admiral and also where no one other than him is likely to sit.” Seven concluded; the rest of the team nodded around her following her thinking and coming to the same conclusion.

            With a plan of attack put together and years of working together to fall back on the group entered in to the Admiral’s office, Harry entered first and quickly scanned the area, ensuring that the office way as empty as they had suspected from their scans. Harry breathed a sigh of relief and then set about the task of finding the door opening within the walls. Tom and B’Elanna joined Harry, each taking a wall, Seven headed to the desk which dominated the room. After a few minutes of searching Seven located a small PADD hidden under the lip of the Admiral’s top draw. She called to B’Elanna to assist her, together they attempted to break the encryption that kept the door locked; both coming to the conclusion that it would have to be something quick in order for the Admiral to open the door while keeping the person captive or distracted by another task.

            Tom and Harry continued to work together to locate the door. “Here” Tom exclaimed in a whisper, not wanting to alert anyone on the other side of the door that they had company.

            Harry quickly went to Tom’s side and confirmed his reading, “Captain Proton to the rescue” He smiled.

            Tom grinned back, enjoying seeing this side of his best friend again. “Any luck with opening it B’E?” He asked

            “Almost got it, Harry is there anyone waiting for us back there?”

            “The tricorder can’t get a clear reading but there are life signs, I can’t tell how many or where though.” He replied, studying his tricorder.

            “We can assume that there are at least 4, probably 5.” Seven stated, “Given that we know the Captain and Commander would not have been imprisoned easily, and the Admiral is likely to be there as well.” The group nodded in agreement, hands collecting their phasers from the belts around their waists, setting them to stun.

            “I’ve got it!” B’Elanna announced as the hidden door panel to the back of the office slid open revealing a short, dimly lit hallway before it appeared to veer off to the left, from within the hallway the group from Voyager could clearly hear the distinctive tones of their Captain.  

            “ _Leave him alone!”_


	30. Freed

“Leave him alone!” Kathryn growled at the Admiral, ending his long ramble against her former First Officer, bringing his attention back to his other captive.

            “Just like a traitor... stepping in for each other.” Piller snapped.

            Kathryn bit back her reply, instead she stood, having freed both arms and her left leg from the restraints, her right fist struck the Admiral’s jaw in a clean punch that threw the man back against the chair he had vacated. _Thank you for teaching me some boxing Chakotay_ she thought.

            Surprised by their captives sudden movements the guards didn’t act fast enough to contend with the attack from Chakotay, determined to get to Kathryn and free her from the remaining restraint so they could get away from the crazed Admiral. Chakotay took a step towards Kathryn, steadying her as she tried to keep her balance from throwing the punch at the Admiral. She caught his eye and saw the pride in them. _Lessons paid off then_. She smiled as he caught her elbow and quickly helped her regain her balance.

            Kathryn pulled at the right shackle holding her ankle against the chair leg, ready to strike again, now she had Chakotay by her side she knew they would be able to take on anything that came their way.

            The Admiral recovered from the punch to the jaw and stood again to face Voyager’s Command team; he opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a word out the door to the cell opened.

 

_“Leave him alone!”_

            Without a single look at each other each of the Voyager crew members dashed forward, Tom, being nearest to the door at the time was first in line, closely followed by Harry, Seven and B’Elanna at the back. Phasers drawn they quickly made their way in to the hallway, Tom checked the first room they came to, quickly assessing that it was empty before moving on to the middle room.

            Tom moved to the right of the door, Harry got in to position just behind him, Seven and B’Elanna matching their positions on the left. Tom hit the PADD and the door opened revealing their Captain and Commander facing off against a very angry man, sporting a split lip and new bruise on his jaw.

            “Step away from the Captain and Commander” He ordered as he entered the room, phaser levelled at the Admiral’s chest.

            “Who do you think you are giving orders to criminal?” The Admiral sneered at Tom.

            “I suggest you do as he says” Seven intervened, stepping forward and standing between Tom and Harry. Kathryn looked over at Chakotay again, gratitude in both their eyes, they knew they were safe now, just as they had known that their Voyager family wouldn’t let them down.

            “Or what?” Snapped Piller. Seven simply fired her phaser, stunning the Admiral, Tom and Harry took care of the guards as they stepped forward towards them. The 3 men crumpled to the floor.

            “Are you 2 alright?” B’Elanna said, stepping forward and looked the 2 of them over, noticing that Kathryn’s right leg was still shackled to the chair. She crouched down look at the restraint, smiling to herself at the stunned look on her command teams faces.

            “Well it’s about time you showed up” Chakotay quipped.

            “Captain Proton... and team to the rescue” Tom laughed, “Guess we still can’t leave you 2 alone for 5 minutes, even on Earth, without getting yourselves in to trouble”

            “Just get us out of here will you Mr. Paris, you can joke about it later” Kathryn said, running her hand through her hair, grimacing at the feeling of it.

            “Got it!” B’Elanna stated as the restraint around Kathryn’s ankle sprang open. She stood back up and placed a hand on Chakotay’s shoulder. “Hey, thanks for the message”. Kathryn bent and ran her hand over her ankle, encouraging the blood flow back in to it, as well as checking for any damage the restraint had down, feeling nothing she straightened again.

            “What message would that me B’Elanna?”

            “Chakotay sent me a message, as you were apparently heading out of the door on this crazy mission of yours, and told me what you were both planning. Stupidly he time delayed it to deliver it about 4 hours after you left and hadn’t returned, I then didn’t pick it up until helm boy over there got up. We were hoping it was a message of a different nature though.” Voyager’s engineer smiled.

            “You didn’t tell me you had sent B’Elanna and Tom a message.” Kathryn said, turning to Chakotay, giving him a lopsided smile, “Good thinking.” She said, laying a hand on his arm. Thinking over what B’Elanna had said she turned back to her and Tom, “Just what sort of message did you think it was?”

            Tom blushed and looked at his feet suddenly interested in them. “Never mind, I think I can guess.” Looking round at the stunned men on the floor in front of them Kathryn slipped back in to Captain Janeway mode. “Right, we need to contact Starfleet security and get the Admiral and his guards in to their custody. I think that there will be some interesting questions for them to answer.” Seven and Harry stepped forward and picked up the Admiral.

            “I suggest leaving them in this room and locking the door until the proper authorities can arrive” Seven said. Kathryn nodded, assisting the others with disarming the guards before leaving the room that had been her cell.

            Once the door had slid shut and Seven encrypted it with several Borg algorithms, no longer needing to hide that Voyager had been involved in locating their commanders.

            “Thank you all, for coming to find us.” Chakotay said, Kathryn smiled and nodded that she felt the same.

            “Right let’s get this finished with, I for one could do with getting home for a bath and long sleep in something other than that chair.” She joked, making those around her laugh.

 

            Kathryn had never appreciated a bath more than the one she was sitting in at that moment. After the Voyager team had found her and Chakotay, it had taken Starfleet security 20 minutes to get to them, and a further 3 hours of questioning before they were allowed to leave. _The Devore weren’t even that long_ Kathryn thought as she felt her muscles start to relax in the warm water.

            Chakotay had returned to his Starfleet apartment too, which was only the floor below Kathryn, but after being held together for so long it felt even further than it was. Kathryn found that she missed his presence, but knew that she needed some space from him. Some of what the Admiral had been saying to her had bought up some unpleasant memories for her, and she wasn’t ready to speak to Chakotay about it, she knew he would want to talk.

            _Going to need a lot of coffee for that conversation... or something stronger_ Kathryn thought, sliding further in to the water, letting her head become submerged under the surface. She slid back up and felt more relaxed, cleansed almost of the memories. She leaned back against the side and moved her mind on to more relaxing thoughts. _Voyager’s family is still as close as they were in the Delta Quadrant, they came after us,_ she thought, thankful that those closest to her had come looking. B’Elanna had told her that those who had come were only the first people they had contacted, but word had gotten round the rest of the crew and she had been left messages by them all asking if their help was needed or if there was anything they could do, as well as asking for updates. Kathryn had come home and responded to them by sending a group communication, informing them all that she and Chakotay were safe and that she would see them all at their debriefings.

            Her thoughts turned back to Chakotay, she felt a smile form on her lips. His presence with her while they had been held captive by the crazed Admiral had given her strength and a purpose. Although he had also been the primary focus for the Admiral’s delusions, he had silently given her the support that she needed to get through it. _Not to mention his boxing lessons on the holodeck coming in handy_.

            After a while the water started to get cold so Kathryn got out of the bath and made her way to her bedroom, selecting one of Chakotay’s shirts to sleep in. It was one that she had ‘accidentally’ packed in her belongings when they had returned to the ship, one that she only wore when she was feeling particularly vulnerable. She had a feeling that tonight would not be the good night sleep that she craved.


	31. Recovered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure I am 100% happy with this final chapter. Please let me know if you think it could be improved and I will happily work on it.   
> Thank you for all your support while writing this.

The morning light streamed through Kathryn’s bedroom window, waking her from a restless night tossing and turning. She had been haunted by nightmares, both made of memories and what could have been. Rising from her bed she stretched and felt the joints click and settle in to their aching muscles. Kathryn padded over to the replicator in her kitchen and ordered her normal coffee. It materialised and she collected it, checking the time on the chronometer as she did so, 0900 it read. _When did I last sleep this late?_

            She walked over to the computer terminal on her desk and checked the messages. There was one from B’Elanna and Tom asking how she was, Seven informing her that she was returning to Jupiter Station with the Doctor at the end of the week, a few from other members of the crew wishing her well and expressing their excitement to see her at their debriefings, there was also a message from Chakotay, simply asking her to contact him when she was awake and wanted to talk.

            Kathryn returned to her bedroom carrying her coffee through to the ensuite bathroom with her. Ordering the computer to switch the sonic shower on she examined her reflection in the mirror. Other than a few patches of skin that was healing on her face, courtesy of the Admiral and his henchmen, she looked unscathed from her experience. _I wonder how Chakotay looks; he took the brunt of it_.

            Kathryn placed her coffee on the bathroom side, removed Chakotay’s shirt and stepped in to the sonic waves, letting them run over her skin, leaving her feeling refreshed and more alert. She dressed quickly in black leggings and a light blue tunic before contacting Chakotay and inviting him over for a coffee when he was free. She hadn’t expected him to arrive at her door 5 minutes later.

            “Where you sitting on your console?” She joked as she let him in.

            “Not exactly” Chakotay smiled, moving to the living area of her apartment, Kathryn close behind him.

            “Can I get you anything, tea?”

            “Coffee would be great; I didn’t sleep very well last night.” Chakotay replied.

            Kathryn smiled and headed to the replicator, ordering a large pot of black coffee, milk and sugar for Chakotay. “I know the feeling; I don’t think I slept more than an hour at a time.” She said returning to the sofa where Chakotay was now sitting.

            “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours” He smiled, accepting the coffee cup she handed him.

            “Oh you know this and that. Nightmares mainly.” Kathryn cryptically replied. Chakotay stayed quiet waiting for her to continue. She took another sip of her coffee, steadying herself emotionally, she had known that he would do this, wait for her to open up, he always did. “Do you remember me telling you about when I served on the Al Burtani with Owen Paris?”

            “Tom’s father, yes you mentioned it once or twice. You said he was a mentor to you.” Chakotay replied.

            “Yes, he was, still is actually in many ways; but when we were serving together he took a special interest in training me, used to take me on all of his away missions to give me the experience that I would need for Command training.” She paused, memories flicking through her mind. “Anyway, one of those away missions didn’t exactly go to plan. We our shuttle was captured by the Cardassians. They thought we were spies for the Federation instead of just on a scientific mission on a nearby planet, they split Owen and I up, but we could still hear what was happening to the other. His screams filled the corridors for days, as I am sure mine did.” Kathryn looked up in to Chakotay’s warm brown eyes, looking to see if there was pity there, instead she saw only anger. “I don’t need to tell you about the rumours that you have heard about how the Cardassians treated their female prisoners, but I can tell you the rumours don’t do them justice. They were cruel; eventually I learnt to just shut out everything around me, everything that they were doing to me.” She put her hand on Chakotay’s thigh, trying to ground both of them in the present. “We were rescued a few days after we were captured, probably no more than a week, but the recovery took months. Counselling, physical therapy and debriefings were endless. It’s probably one of the reasons that I have avoided Sickbays as much as I have since.” She tried to joke.

            “Kathryn... why didn’t you ever tell me?” Chakotay asked

            “How exactly was I meant to bring that up in conversation Chakotay? Lean over the centre console and just drop it in with the morning debriefing? ‘ _Good morning Commander, let’s go over the reports from engineering and power distribution first, oh and by the way I was captured and tortured by the Cardassians when I was in my 20’s’_?, I don’t think so” Kathryn snapped, her mental shields rising, waiting for the fight.

            “No Kathryn, that’s not what I expected, but we had conversations about the Cardassians, why I joined the Maquis, what happened to my family. Everything, and yet you never mentioned that anything happened” He replied, trying to keep his tone soothing and soft, trying not to reveal the anger he was feeling. Not anger at Kathryn instead it was anger at the Cardassians that did that to her and at the Admiral who bought it all back up again. “But I thought we were close enough that you could have talked to me.” He said, his hand covering hers on his leg.

            “We are, it’s just not something that I ever wanted to bring up again... ever, to anyone...” Her hand twitched underneath his, she was processing. “I didn’t want you to see me as damaged either” Kathryn whispered. She looked up and met his eyes again, warm caring brown against cold turbulent blue.

            He smiled at her, “I could never see you as anything but that strong defiant Captain that stood between an unknown enemy and a Federation ex-con on her bridge, after being thrown thousands of light years from home without even flinching.” He ran his thumb over her knuckles lightly, trying to sooth away the pain that he saw on her face.

            Kathryn breathed out, closing her eyes, calming the swirl of emotions within her, carefully packing those memories away in the small box in her memory, never to see the light of day again. “Can we change the subject please... I don’t want to talk about it anymore” She asked.

            “Of course” He replied, smiling at her, giving Kathryn the full dimples. “What would you like to talk about?”

            “Tell me about this date you want to go on.” She said, flirting with him like she used to on the Bridge.

            “What makes you think that I have even given it a thought?” He joked; they both knew that he had been planning the date he wanted to take her on, probably even before he had actually asked her to go.

            “You forget _Commander_ , I know how your mind works. That’s why we work so well together.” Kathryn stated, the truth of her words striking warmth in to his heart.

            “Well, how does a trip to Venice sound... the real one this time”


	32. Debriefed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't happy with the last chapter being the end, and it appears you werent either. Well inspiration hit, I think there will be one more after this one too.

Chakotay and Kathryn had been given 2 days to recover from their ordeal with Admiral Piller before they were called in by Starfleet Security. They had spent the majority of that time together, discussing the memories that had been bought up by their time with Piller, memories from Voyager or just simply enjoying one anothers company. Kathryn had tried to get details from him about the date he had planned in Venice, but no matter how much she tried he would artfully deflect her questioning, instead he would remind her of the time they spent in the holographic Venice or change the subject.

            When they had received orders to appear at Starfleet Headquarters, in Owen Paris’ office, Kathryn had asked him if they could go together, as a team, rather than have to face it separately. He had agreed, like she knew he would, knowing that she was asking for his support and strength, having to face the memories that had been bought but by the Admiral had meant that her dreams had been haunted with images of what had happened to her.

            Together, dressed in their Voyager uniforms, they arrived at Headquarters and promptly made their way to Admiral Paris’ office. The aide showed them both straight in, where Kathryn was met with a pleasant sight, the complete Senior Staff. Tuvok had been given medical clearance to return to Earth, as long as the EMH was able to assist him if needed, his son Sek had also accompanied him. The Doctor had also been given his mobile emitter again and was once again free to come and go from Starfleet Medical as he pleased. Kathryn smiled at all of them, pleased to see them all together again.

            “Captain, Commander. We thought it best to have the entirety of Voyager’s Senior Staff together, seeing as they all had dealings with Mr. Bleniot, and therefore indirectly with Admiral Piller.” Owen stated, rising from behind his desk. He held a hand out in the direction of the small conference room that adjoined his office, similar in size to Voyagers conference room.

            “Thank you all for coming” He said, taking a seat at the head of the table. “This is Commander Collins, head of security here. He has been overseeing the investigation in to Admiral Piller’s actions.” Owen said, introducing the blonde man to his left in his late 40’s. Voyager’s staff all nodded in welcoming, eager to hear what he had uncovered.

            “Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay please accept my personal apology for the treatment that you, and the rest of your crew, have received at the hands of Admiral Piller and his aide.” Collins said. Kathryn smiled and accepted what he had said, although she knew that the memories would take time to become less troublesome to her again.

            “Thank you Commander, now what can you tell us about the Admiral?” She asked, slipping her Captain’s mask in to place.

            “Sadly, not a huge amount, much of what the Admiral did was kept secret from those around him, and his work was largely unmonitored due to his position within Starfleet, he was predominantly overseeing Section 31 and internal affairs. I am afraid he was able to use that secrecy to his advantage.” Collins said, looking uncomfortable at the admission.

            Kathryn glanced around at her crew, her eyes stayed on Tuvok for a moment who shuffled in his chair. _This would never have been allowed to happen on your watch old friend_ she thought, glad to see that he was back to his normal emotionless self again.

            “During our time questioning the Admiral we haven’t really been able to get much from him personally, however his aide, _Ensign_ Bleniot, has been extremely helpful” Collins continued.

            “Singing like the proverbial canary” Owen added, making those around the table, with the exception of Tuvok, smile. Tom’s knowledge of old sayings was clearly a family trait.

            “Exactly” Collins said, clearly familiar with the phrase, “He has been able to give us a little background information which I can share with you, if you are happy for me to do so Commander, seeing as it appears to focus primarily on you”, Chakotay nodded, moving his hand nearest Kathryn to rest on her thigh, silently seeking her support. She twisted slightly in his direction, allowing the contact, to those around the table they were no different than they had been on Voyager, and as they were at the opposite end of the table to Admiral Paris and Commander Collins the attention was focused away from them.

            “It appears that Admiral Piller had previous dealings with the Maquis, long before your ships were taken by the Caretaker.” He began, “According to Bleniot, Admiral Piller had met you Commander on a few occasions, and was in the same class as you at the Academy” Chakotay raised an eyebrow at this, he had not remembered Piller from his time in the Academy, although as they were similar ages it could have been possible. “You don’t remember him do you?”

            “No, but I kept a pretty small group of friends then.” Chakotay replied, his hand tensing on Kathryn’s leg, she leaned back in her chair and moved her hands to place one over his, running her thumb over the back of his hand, soothing him with her touch.

            “According to Bleniot, Michael Piller became jealous of you and the group of friends that you had the success that your group appeared to have within the Organisation.” Chakotay nodded, Will Riker had been a friend of his and he was one of the most successful Officers currently servicing, Chakotay had been a little jealous of Riker too if he was honest, but he had used it as friendly rivalry to fuel him, whereas Piller had obviously used his jealousy to fuel his twisted view of them.

            “He had a normal career, married and had a daughter, according to the file they lived on Dorvan IV, his wife was an agriculturist and had been requested to assist the colonists with their crop rotations. She and their daughter were on Dorvan when the Cardassians took possession of the planet, thanks to the treaty. They were both killed in the same attack that killed your father.” Collins stated.

            “That was why he was on Dorvan just after I left Starfleet.” Chakotay said, the puzzle pieces falling in to place. “I remember a man coming up to me and rambling at me for a betrayal as he saw it, I never knew who he was or why he was blaming me for what had happened. It wasn’t until he was questioning me while we were held by him that I even recognised him even that took a while.”

            “Well he certainly knew who you were Commander, he had followed your career through Starfleet on and off, and to be honest, when you resigned your commission it was big news that you then joined the Maquis, not that you were the only person to do so, but you were certainly one of the highest ranking.”

            “That’s why Tuvok was placed on your crew to gather information, and why Voyager was sent after you when the Val Jean disappeared in the Badlands.” Kathryn elaborated. _Proceed to the Badlands and apprehend the Maquis_ , her original orders came to the forefront of her memory, she squeezed Chakotay’s hand at the memory, forever grateful that she had been given those orders, without them she wouldn’t have met the people around the table with her.

            “By the time that Voyager disappeared the Admiral was a Commander himself, and the news that both Voyager and your ship, the Val Jean, had disappeared, presumed destroyed, he seemed to stabilise, his evaluations got better and he was quickly promoted to Captain of a small vessel, a Defiant class vessel, the _USS_ Saladin, he replaced Captain Shinoda after he was killed in the Dominion war, his record throughout the war show him to be a risk taker, but more often than not he was successful.” Collins continued

            “That explains why he was made Admiral so quickly, given his record during the war and the diminished ranks after; he would have been a clear promotional prospect.” Owen said. “He was given Section 31 and internal affairs because of some of the missions that he undertook in the war.”

            “When Voyager’s EMH made contact with Starfleet, informing us that not only were you all alive, even though it was on the other side of the Galaxy, but that the Maquis that you had been sent to apprehend were now part of the crew, their Captain becoming the First Officer, Admiral Piller was given the task of assessing the potential risk to Starfleet security. He was given full access to all the files on every member of your crew, yourselves included.” Collins explained. “Of course, had the connection between you been realised that would never have happened.”

            “But it did” Kathryn said, her voice low and controlled, she was angry at the simple oversight that had potentially put her crew and herself in harm’s way, in a place they were meant to be safe after the dangers of the Delta Quadrant.

            “Unfortunately it did. By the time that the Midas array was established the Admiral had determined that there was little risk to Starfleet security, given that you were thousands of light years away, well that is what he wrote in his official report, according to Bleniot, who by this time was serving as his aide, he would ramble about the ‘Maquis Issue’ on Voyager. While at first Bleniot assumed it was just mild ranting, letting off steam about a situation that was playing on his mind or had no control over, but he started to notice that the ramblings were becoming less coherent. It was Bleniot that called in Starfleet medical to run tests on the Admiral.” Collins paused, but the EMH took up the medical side of the story.

            “According to the files that I have access to, Admiral Piller was diagnosed as a paranoid personality disorder or PPD, it’s a condition that is generally characterised by paranoia and a pervasive, long-standing suspiciousness and generalized mistrust of others, and in this case the mistrust that he had of Commander Chakotay already was amplified and twisted by his condition.” The Doctor explained. “The files state that his condition was getting deteriorating and he was soon to be medically discharged from Starfleet.”

            “That’s all well and good Doctor, but it doesn’t explain why the Admiral was so interested in the relationships between the Captain and Commander, and to some extent B’Elanna and I.” Tom said.

            “I believe that the Admiral was interested in these relationship because of what he perceived as breeches in Starfleet security. He was less concerned about yours and B’Elanna’s relationship, partly because you were not high up within Starfleet, with the exception of your relationship to Admiral Paris, but you had been incarcerated before you were assigned to Voyager. He simply used questions about your marriage as a smoke screen to ask about the friendship between Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. He was paranoid that the Captain would reveal something to the Commander that would affect the safety of the Federation and he would somehow communicate that to the remaining members of the Maquis or even worse the Cardassians themselves, especially given what we now all know about Ensign Seska.” The EMH concluded.

            “So he thought that Chakotay was a traitor, not only to Starfleet, but his own people and the memory of his father” Kathryn said, her hand still firmly on Chakotay’s, letting him know that she didn’t believe it for a second. “He clearly didn’t know Chakotay as well as he thought he did then” She said aloud to those around the table, which she got nods of agreement to.

            “Apparently not Captain” The Doctor said.

            “Anyway, according the Bleniot, the Admiral would stalk around his office ranting about how he would make the Maquis traitor pay” Chakotay’s hand tensed and squeezed Kathryn’s thigh, she began to run her thumb over the back of his hand again, trying to calm the anger she knew he was feeling, it was coursing through her as well.

            “So he was driving himself crazier?” B’Elanna said

            “Essentially. When Voyager had contact with loved ones here in the Alpha Quadrant was around the time that Admiral Piller began to go downhill medically, according to Bleniot he started to plan how he would get justice for his wife and daughter against the Commander.”

            “But we were still thousands of light years away.” Kathryn stated.

            “I believe it was more that you were able to communicate properly, it would have been easy for me to pass on any information to the Maquis.” Chakotay said,

            The turned to look at each other, Kathryn searched his eyes for the proud man she knew, but all she could see was the angry man that had first beamed aboard her ship.

 _He didn’t know you, not the man you were then and not the man you are now_ she told him with her eyes and an affectionate squeeze of his hand. He smiled softy back at her.

            “It must have been quite a shock to him when we arrived a few weeks ago.” Tuvok stated, speaking for the first time since they had sat down.

            “Well it was a shock for all of us.” Harry said, “And our families. I was only speaking to my mum a few days before and then I actually got to see her.” He said smiling at the memory of seeing his parents for the first time in 7 years, similar smiles on the rest of the faces around the table, even Seven’s as she had recently connected with her Aunt Irene.

            “As Bleniot tells us, the Admiral was incensed and his mental state completely broke. He became fixated on getting the information that the Commander had given to the Maquis and Cardassians. He was consumed by it.” Collins explained, “He was certain that there was something going on and that Commander Chakotay was behind it, that the only reason Voyager had come back to the Alpha Quadrant was because something was about to happen.” He looked round the table and noticed the looks of confusion on most of the faces, “He believed the rumours that had surfaced initially when Voyager and the Val Jean were lost in the Delta Quadrant, they were along the lines of it all being planned and part of a Maquis plot supported by Starfleet, that Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay knew each other, the rumours differed on how well and the nature of their relationship with each other... the Admiral believed it all.”

            “That’s why he was asking us about the nature of our friendship and was so sure that it wasn’t more than just a freak accident by some desperate entity.” Kathryn breathed, she had heard about the rumours from her mother, and she had assured Kathryn that no one believed them and anyone who did was of no importance anyway so it didn’t matter. _Clearly mum was wrong._

            “Exactly. It is also why he placed Bleniot in a position that meant he could speak to your crew within a perceived safe space, where they were more likely to let their guards down and let their views of you both out.” Owen said.

            “But what I don’t understand is how an aide that only held the rank of Ensign could be placed in a position with access to some potentially classified and personal information.” Tuvok said, “Logically the Senior staff should have been given separate councillors and certainly someone who was more qualified to assist them.”

            “It appears that the records on Ensign Bleniot’s qualifications were doctored.” Collins admitted, “It was cleverly done and their tracks were covered. He was relatively new to the post, only serving about 18 months with the Admiral, and not many members of staff knew anything about him, which we believe is the reason that the Admiral chose him in the first place.”

            “Well at least that explains his strange behaviour towards us.” B’Elanna said, “How was the Admiral able to pull this all off so fast, it can’t have been more than a week between us arriving home and the first sessions with Bleniot.”

            “We believe that the Admiral had already placed Bleniot within Starfleet medical counselling personnel, he was also made aware that all members of Voyager’s crew would require sessions, in particular the Senior Staff as they were perceived to of seen the most and to be struggling with the most trauma as a result.” This got a laugh from around the table and a few eye rolls too. “Anyway... According to communication records Admiral Piller requested that all Senior Staff be seen by the same person, that way they could continue to speak to each other outside of their sessions, in order to progress faster.”

            “Well at least that bit was true” Harry muttered under his breath.

            “He recommended Bleniot, stating his record as backup.” Owen said, “We believe that the Admiral had planned to get Bleniot in as an actual councillor in order to get confidential information from other members of Starfleet, but when Voyager arrived home he was forced to move up his plan. I am just glad that you are all able to see through Bleniot and his strange behaviour, and spoke to each other about it.”

            “However you should have come to us with your suspicions first” Collins admonished them all.

            “Your right Commander Collins, we should have done, but what you have to understand is that for this crew, the last 7 years have made us all closer than any other crew in Starfleet, we have learned to rely on each other in times of trouble, after all we have only had each other, we aren’t used to going to outsiders.” Kathryn said, pride in her voice when she spoke about her crew, she looked at each member of her staff and saw them beam under her praise. “It will take us all a while to get used to having backup again.” She smiled.

            Collins and Owen nodded, accepting her explanation. “What will happen to the Admiral and Bleniot now?” She asked

            “Well Admiral Piller is to be court marshalled, however due to his medical condition I doubt he will be able to stand trial, so he will be placed in to a psychiatric facility until he is well enough to explain his actions, but according to the Doctors that is never likely to be the case, he will likely live out the rest of his life in treatment. As for Ensign Bleniot, he has been dishonourably discharged from Starfleet, and he will be spending 18 months in Mr. Paris’ old cell in New Zealand for this part in the plan.” Collins said. “I understand if it sounds like the Admiral is being let of lightly, but there is nothing more that we can do given the circumstances I’m afraid.”

            Janeway breathed out and thought for a moment before looking directly at Owen Paris, “Just make sure it’s a _nice_ place for the Admiral.”

            “Oh I will Katie, I will.” He grinned back at her. Owen had heard from Tom and B’Elanna exactly what Piller had put his former protégée through and what he had thrown at her, Kathryn had allowed Chakotay to delicately tell B’Elanna and she in turn had mentioned it to Owen. Although Chakotay hadn’t gone in to details with B’Elanna, the simple mention of the incident being thrown at Kathryn made Owen’s blood boil; they had both barely escaped from the whole incident.

            With that the meeting was dismissed, they all filed out of the conference room back in to Owen’s office space. Commander Collins said his goodbyes to them all and left to return to oversee the transfer of Admiral Piller to a guarded room at Starfleet Medical to await his transfer to a more permanent facility.

            Kathryn and Chakotay stayed for a while with their crew and Owen, arranging to see each other soon for dinners and drinks before Tuvok returned to Vulcan and Seven and the EMH returned to Jupiter station later in the week. Eventually the group dispersed and it was just Kathryn and Chakotay left. They said their goodbyes to Owen and walked out, Kathryn holding Chakotay’s arm as they had onboard Voyager, although standing a little closer than they usually would have.

            “Well Kathryn, I don’t know about you but I could do with a coffee after all of that... I don’t suppose you happen to know a place around here?” Chakotay asked, laughing as her face lit up at the prospect of a decent cup of coffee.

            “I don’t know about the coffee but there is a perfect place for lunch around the corner if you would care to join me.” She replied. Chakotay nodded at her and she led the way to a small restaurant a few blocks away from Headquarters.


	33. Venice

Now that everyone was able to settle properly in to their lives on Earth again, Kathryn and Chakotay had set aside their time for their promised date in the real Venice. Kathryn had to admit that she felt almost giddy at the prospect of a date with Chakotay, they had been flirting with each other for the last 7 years on and off, and although their friendship had taken a few knocks they always found their way back to each other. She had carefully chosen her dress for their date, settling on her light blue dress that she had worn on New Earth, enjoying the feeling of the hem brushing against her legs, glad to be out of uniform for a while, she had taken more care with her hair and makeup before leaving her apartment, heading for the transporter station.

           

Kathryn had arranged to meet Chakotay at a small cafe near St Marks Basilica, it was one that had been recreated in Tom’s Venice program on Voyager, it was also the scene of the fateful dinner that had almost ruined their friendship, but instead it had bought their feelings for each other out in to the light. The memories of that evening threatened to spoil Kathryn’s mood, she shook her head to clear them.

Starfleet had assigned Deanna Troi to her and the rest of the Senior Staff, Owen Paris had insisted that a well known and respected councillor be assigned to Voyager’s Senior Staff given everything they had been subjected to by the false Councillor. Owen had also informed Kathryn that the security breaches that had been uncovered during their investigation in to Bleniot had been sealed so that it wouldn’t happen to someone else, which Kathryn was certainly glad to hear.

            She looked around her, taking in the sights of the ancient city, enjoying being in a familiar place, surrounded by strangers that were taking little notice of the ‘intrepid Captain Janeway’. She smiled to herself, _at least out of uniform I’m not a recognisable as Chakotay with his tattoo_. Kathryn felt lighter than she had since returning to Earth as she walked along the streets from the transporter station to the Basilica, simply enjoying being unknown. She reached the small cafe ahead of Chakotay and selected a table outside so she could watch the people around her, something she had always enjoyed doing as a child, imagining what they were doing, but it was also something that had been changed while in the Delta Quadrant, it had become less about enjoying watching people and more about watching people for security risks and dangers.

            A flash of light caught her attention, Kathryn looked round and caught another flash, she smiled, realising that it was holoimagers going off from a small group of people all around one person. _Chakotay_ she thought fondly. She caught a glimpse of him through the crowd, managing to catch his eye.

            _Sorry_ he told her

 _It’s understandable_ she grinned back

            Kathryn stood up and began to walk over to him, parting the crowd as they realised who she was and who she was here to meet.

            “You just can’t go anywhere without drawing attention now can you Commander” She whispered against his ear as she hugged him in greeting.

            “Apparently not, but at least we can be thankful that it’s just tourists rather than the media this time.” He replied against her hair before he released her.

            “A small mercy, we might actually be left alone to enjoy a meal without it getting out to the news cycles before desert.” Kathryn said, linking her arm through his, smiling at the small crowd as more imagers flashed. “I’m sorry all, but we have reservations, do you mind if we go?” She asked the crowd. _Ever the diplomat_ Chakotay chuckled, leading her back through the crowd.

            “Thank you very much Captain, rescue mission successful” He joked as they took their seats at the table Kathryn had vacated a few moments before.

            “Always glad to help a member of the crew Commander, you know that” She grinned.

            Chakotay smiled, enjoying the easy banter between them. “Have you ordered anything yet?” He asked, turning their attention back to the date.

            “No, I had just arrived when duty called.” She joked; watching the way that his eyes danced with amusement, knowing hers mirrored his. “But I am actually starving... for once.”

            Chakotay let out a huff of laughter, both of them knew how difficult it could be to get Kathryn to actually sit down and eat a meal, although it had become easier since they got back and had now become a running joke between them. “OK, how about we order something then...other than coffee”

            “Agreed.” She said; getting the attention of the waiter that was hanging around nearby, watching his famous customers. The young man hurried over, “What do you think, shall we have a glass of wine with lunch... we aren’t likely to be called for a Red Alert or anything.” Kathryn quipped.

            Chakotay nodded, smiling at his Captain. “Can we have a bottle of white please, whatever is good here” He ordered, “Oh and a couple of menus please.” The waiter nodded and rushed off, eager to please his customers. “What is that smile for?” Chakotay asked Kathryn.

            “Nothing, just realising that you quite like being in charge for a change.” She smirked, giving him a lopsided grin that made his knees go weak still.

            “Let’s just say there’s a time and a place that I like to be in charge Kathryn.” He husked out, leaning in closer to her. He chuckled when he noticed the colour starting to rise on her neck at his comment. “I knew I could make you blush, your uniform just used to hide it better.” He said, leaning back in his chair, allowing Kathryn some space.

            “I never said that you couldn’t Chakotay.” She replied. The waiter returned carrying a bottle of wine and glasses in one hand and 2 menus in the other, the couple lapsed in to a comfortable silence while the young man poured their drinks and handed them the menus. Kathryn pretended to read hers, counting the seconds until he left them alone again. When he had she laid her menu down, her appetite momentarily forgotten, “Let’s just say I am glad that my uniform covered as much as it did... just as I expect you were glad by the lose fit on occasion.”

            Chakotay almost choked on the wine he had been sipping at Kathryn’s comment. He looked up in to her eyes and saw the flirtation and joy in them, a sight he hadn’t seen for more time than he could remember. It was a look that she had often given him in the early years, but it had faded over time. Kathryn laughed and picked her menu up again, this time actually reading it.

            “I think I will have the fish today.” She said simply, as if she hadn’t noticed that it was taking her lunch date time to recover his equilibrium.

            “I think I will have the Vegetable Lasagne.” He replied once he had collected his thoughts enough to speak.

            Kathryn simply smiled at him and took a sip of her drink, laying the menu back down again, indicating to the young waiter that they were ready to order their meals, he promptly returned, took their order and disappeared again in to the restaurant, presumably to place their order with the kitchen. Kathryn returned her gaze to the people around them, milling about, enjoying their time. “It certainly is good to be home, now that everything has been sorted out.” She said, voicing the thoughts in her mind.

            Chakotay picked up his wine again and leaned back in his chair, following her gaze as she looked around before returning to watch her, unnoticed.

            “I know you are watching me Chakotay” She said, without looking at him.

            “Really?”

            “Yes, I always knew when you were watching me.” She replied, smiling as she sipped her wine. “Even when you thought I didn’t know, I did.”

            He laughed, “I enjoyed looking at you Kathryn, especially when I thought you didn’t know I was looking.” She looked back at him, “You always have a certain confidence about you, and it captivates people Kathryn.”

            She smiled, and leaned in towards him, letting her elbows rest on the table, listening to his voice more than his words. “Do you remember the first moment that we met?” He asked her.

            “On the Bridge, you were about to kill Tom as I recall, I stepped in between you and your shot at him”

            “That’s right”

            “But that wasn’t the first time that I saw you.” She replied, coyly.

            “No?”

            “No, when we were transported on to the array by the Caretaker, he already had you and your Maquis crew, including B’Elanna then. Tom and Harry stumbled upon where he was keeping you all, unconscious, in his holographic barn. Harry contacted me and that’s when I first saw you, laying on some bed with a device sticking out your stomach, I guess that is what he used to find out if we had whatever it was that he needed.”

            “You never told me that.”

            “No, I guess that there were more pressing matters to deal with once we were returned to our ships, like finding Harry and B’Elanna, and then we had to figure out how we were all going to get along together to make running Voyager possible, merging our crews together and getting home. It just never really came up again once we became friends.”

            He leaned forward again and reached for her hand, which she gave him, their palms together, simply enjoying the connection. “Anyway, as I was saying, there is something that draws people to you, I noticed it then and it is still there now.”

            “I don’t know what to say to that if I’m honest.” She replied, swallowing past the lump that was forming in her throat.

            “You don’t have to say anything Kathryn.”

            The waiter arrived at that moment, bringing their food order, releasing the others hand in order to eat. Over their meal conversation flowed back and forth easily, reminding Chakotay of the meals that they had shared in her quarters or his, simple comfortable conversation and light laughter, nothing that would affect the others mood or was too dangerous to bring up, even though now they were on a proper date the topic of their relationship was no longer taboo.

            They finished their meals and the waiter cleared their plates, asking if they wanted desert, which was declined. Chakotay stood and offered his arm to Kathryn, she stood, taking his hand instead. Leaving the cafe they started to walk among the crowd looking at the Basilica, occasionally their presence was noticed but no one approached them for a photograph, sensing that this was a precious time for the famous pair.

            “I think we are taking the attention off this wonderful place Captain.” Chakotay joked with Kathryn. _How does he use my rank as simply as my name and still make it sound like a private thing_ Kathryn wondered. She twisted her head and looked up at him.

            “Well, maybe we should get away from the tourist hotspots and allow the Basilica all the attention it deserves.” She said, pulling at his hand leading him to the quieter darker alley leading away from the open square. “Let’s explore.”

            “Lead the way and I will follow” He smiled at her as she pulled at his arm. Together they wound their way through the crowd pouring in to the square, until they reached the alley that was empty, too narrow for the large group they had passed.

            Kathryn had not let go of his hand and Chakotay was relishing in the feel of her skin against his. Halfway down the alley way he stopped, pulling Kathryn to a stop too. She turned on her heel to face him.

            “Why have you stopped?” She asked, confusion playing across her features.

            In the gloom of the alley way, with only the occasional ray of sun managing to punch its way through the over laying buildings Chakotay smiled at her, and allowed his eyes to roam her face in more detail than he had allowed himself for years. He noted the ways that the light played in her auburn hair, catching the naturally lighter strands, the shine of mischief and flirtation playing in her cool blue eyes. He tugged at her hand pulling her closer to him, they were only centimetres apart, so close he could feel the heat of her skin through the clothing separating them.

            Kathryn looked up and smiled coyly at him, placing her free hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat faster under her touch. “Chakotay” She whispered.

            “Kathryn” He breathed back, leaning his head down towards hers, almost meeting her lips. He watched her eyes, waiting for her to pull away, when she didn’t he closed the gap. Their lips met in a slow deep kiss, the need to breath broke them apart.

            “I have been waiting to do that for years” Chakotay grinned, resting is forehead against Kathryn’s, breathing the same breath as her, not wanting to be parted from her yet.

            “Was it worth the waiting?” She asked, he voice full of flirtation.

            “That and more, I would have waited a lifetime if it meant I got to do that.” He replied.

            Kathryn smiled at him, “Well I am glad that you didn’t” She slipped her hand from his chest up and around his neck, pulling him back to kiss him again. Chakotay let Kathryn take control of their 2nd kiss, relishing in the feeling and taste of her kiss. _My dreams didn’t do this justice._

            Braking apart again, Kathryn took a step back, but didn’t lower her hand from his neck, or release the other from her hand.

            “What is it, Kathryn. I can see your mind working.” Chakotay said.

            “It’s nothing; I was just wondering how you always know exactly what to say, or what I am thinking.” She said, her eyes moving back and forth over his.

            Chakotay smiled, and glanced down, “It’s easy to know what to say to you Kathryn, I can read you like a book, the same as you can me. It’s easy when you love someone to read them” He admitted.

            “Yes it is. I’m sorry that I never told you that I loved you while we were out there, but I can now. I love you Chakotay, I have for years.” Kathryn admitted to him.

            “You didn’t have to tell me Kathryn, I knew how you felt about me, even when we were at odds with each other.”

            “How?” Kathryn asked

            “It was in the looks you gave me.” He said, pulling her in for another kiss. _The last first kisses of my life,_ he thought as he felt the warmth of her lips meet his.


End file.
